Look North
by Thecricketsarecalling
Summary: Desmond and Kate's relationship while living on the island. different/changed events then the show
1. Blood and tears

It all began on a warm calm night.

And it all ended on a windy morning at the beach.

Kate remembered as Jack, Sawyer, and Sayid carrying her as everyone came running towards her. Concerned faces came closer as everything began to blur and fade. Kate mumbled to herself as they carried her further up the beach. For a brief second she saw Locke come running over and helped hold her. Jack began yelling for them to place her underneath one of the huts and to give them some air. Within seconds Sawyer began yelling as well, telling people to back off or he would slug them. Kate looked up as her eyelids fluttered and stared up at Jack and Sawyer. Both never looked so worried or scared before.

Kate stared up at them and knew deep down inside her heart that she loved them both very much…but she wasn't meant to be with either one of them. Together they were the perfect man…apart she knew the truth.

Being laid down on some blankets, she stared up at a makeshift roof on one of the huts. Laying there a terrible pain rushed through her and she weakly cried out.

That's when she heard Desmond screaming.

Laying there it suddenly hit her, looking up she saw Sawyer sitting beside her squeezing her hand. For the first time in awhile she looked him in the eyes and saw he truly was scared for her.

"Hey Freckles, don't you worry…"

His voice trailed off, looking to the other side she saw Jack yelling at Sun and Claire to get his supplies. Glancing down, she saw most of the crowd were being held off by Locke who told them to go about their way…this wasn't a circus show. Kate watched as her friends tried to stretch their necks and watch what was going on. Finally after Locke screamed at them for the third time they began walking away. Charlie and Hugo stayed still watching with worried eyes.

She then looked down at her jeans and saw the blood.

This wasn't happening…

She told herself as another horrible pain filled her. Shutting her eyes everything began to play backwards on how she did indeed ended up on his island. Thinking of all those years of running and the pain. For a brief moment she even thought about Kevin and how badly she wished he was here with her.

Desmond…

She thought, she didn't want him to see this.

Just then he appeared, most likely he was taking his morning jog down the beach when he heard the yelling. Nearly tumbling down in the sand he came running and skidded to stop. His eyes were wide as he approached the opening of the hut.

"What's happening?!"

His thick accent sounded, right away he stared down at Kate and all color drained from his face.

"No…"

His voice was shaken as he collapsed on his knees by her feet. Breathing heavily he kneeled there before trying to reach and take her hand.

"Kate…"

"Desmond you need to leave!"

Jack snapped, Kate felt another horrible cramp and shut her eyes. She had never felt pain like this before. Crying she felt Sawyer's grip on her hand tighten before Desmond moved up and almost knocked him over.

"Hey!"

Sawyer yelled, Desmond leaned over her with his bangs hanging down over his eyes. He looked scared to death.

"Desmond?"

Kate said weakly, that when Sayid appeared and Jack asked to be alone, he needed to help her. Sayid nodded before motioning for Sawyer and Desmond to leave with him. Right away Sawyer shook his head.

"Screw off doc, I ain't leaving her!"

Kate let go of Sawyer's hand and weakly grabbed onto Desmond's shirt. She had so many things to say right now yet she couldn't find the strength to speak. Jack was shaking badly now before Sun ran over with the bag of medical supplies and some bottled water.

Her eyes found Kate's for a second as they traced down her and then looked away. That's when Jack asked her to sit with her. Standing up he quickly ordered that Sawyer and Desmond would speak with him outside. Desmond acted as if he hadn't even heard him. Kate laid there feeling awful cramps go through her body as he softly whispered into her ear that everything was going to be all right. His hand gently touched her forehead and she saw he was shaking as well.

"Everything is going to be all right love…I promise."

Finally Jack yelled and Sayid took hold of his arm. Desmond fought him for a second before Sayid yanked him up to a standing position. Both Sawyer and Desmond stood together in the hut before Jack snapped again for them to talk with him outside. Kate wanted to tell them not to leave her but the pain was getting worse.

Sun sat beside her and gently began rubbing her arm.

Sawyer and Desmond gave a very uncertain look before they finally turned around and disappeared through the opening and into the bright blinding sunshine.

Outside the air was thick with the scent of salt water. Further down the beach everyone watched and tried to figure out what was going on. Outside of the tent Jack, Sayid, Locke, Sawyer, and Desmond stood.

"What's wrong with her brother?"

Desmond asked, his eyes wide and on edge, he looked worried.

Jack stood there for a second sighing before rubbing the stubble that had grown over his face and neck.

"She's having a miscarriage…"

Sawyer and Desmond fell silent. The expression of shock showed through their eyes. Locke simply looked away as Sayid sighed. Finally Sawyer shook his head in disbelief.

"What?"

Jack nodded.

"I need some time alone with her, Sun will help me…she just needs to be alone."

"Wait…she was pregnant?"

Sawyer couldn't believe it, anger showed though his eyes. Jack looked just as angry yet tried his hardest to stay calm. It seemed as though everything was spinning around them and out of control.

"The bleeding seems heavy and I need to stay with her…looks as though she was maybe a month or so along…"

Locke glanced at Sawyer and he caught it.

"Hey Mister Clean, don't look at me…"

Locke kept a calm face.

"Like what?"

"Like you feel sorry for me or something…I ain't the daddy…"

Sayid rolled his eyes and mumbled something before Sawyer took a step closer to Locke and Jack.

"Me and the lady might have had a few rolls in the hay, but that was a million years ago…"

"You shut your mouth!"

Desmond yelled at him, Sawyer looked over slightly suspired by this outburst. Sawyer who was really hiding the fact he was scared for Kate pretended to put his toughest face on before turning towards Desmond.

"And why the yell are you here buttons? You ain't got nothing to do with this…"

Right away it clicked for Sayid and Locke, standing back they watched it unfold.

"I told you to shut your mouth brother, I won't tell you again."

Sawyer tried taking a step close to Desmond, his hands all ready made into fists. Quickly Jack came between them as they glared at each other.

"Enough! Now isn't the time! Now Locke…you tell everyone Kate is all right, nobody has to know anything more then that. Sun and I will stay with here…Sayid?"

Sayid looked over.

"Could you make sure nobody tries snooping around?"

Sayid nodded, he was good friends with Kate as well. Jack then flashed his eyes at both men and spoke in a stern voice.

"Now listen! This isn't a pissing contest! Enough is enough! All that matters is that we make sure Kate is all right okay?"

Sawyer and Desmond glared at each other past Jack's shoulder before Sawyer mumbles something.

"Yeah…sure…"

Jack nodded before Desmond spoke up, his voice shaken.

"I…I would like to stay with her."

"And what the hell is that?"

Sawyer asked looking at him, right away Desmond looked at the other men before pushing his hair back and sighing. It took all his strength to not break down and cry then.

"Because…I…think I'm the father."

Jack turned around and faced Desmond along with Sawyer. The most overwhelming glare of anger filled both men's eyes before Sayid saw this and spoke up.

""I think that would be fine, as long as you stay out of Jack's way."

Desmond quickly nodded before looking at Jack with pleading eyes. Finally Jack dropped his eyes and stared down at the sand.

"Fine…but give me a half an hour, then you can sit with her."

Desmond's eyes looked completely heartbroken yet he thanked Jack and sat outside the hut. Right away his eyes became serious as he stared straight ahead almost in a trance. His breathing was heavy.

Locke, Sayid, Sawyer, and Jack all stood there for a second before Jack started towards the hut. Sawyer stood there for a second, looking at Desmond in disgust. Going inside, Jack knew he looked at Desmond again he might do exactly what Sawyer what to do…

Kill him.

Inside the tent Jack's eyes adjusted to the dimmer light and say Kate laying there on the blankets. Sun was cooing her softly and rubbing her arm. Kate's eyes would flutter open whenever a cramp would come and her face would crumple up before relaxing. Jack eyed the crotch of her jeans and saw the blood soaking through.

"Let's get her undressed…"

Jack said softly, Sun's eyes met his before nodding. He knew this wasn't the smartest thing to bring a expecting mother to help him, but he trusted her. Sun's eyes didn't look worried at all, just simply full of pity whenever Kate cried out from the pain. Without speaking she began to help Jack.

Outside of the tent Desmond simply sat and stared ahead at the ocean. His eyes had no emotion at all. Sawyer meanwhile had paced back and forth in front of them before looking down. Using all his strength to control his anger he finally began talking.

"When the hell did you and Kate…"

Desmond's eyes lifted and cut off Sawyer's words. Starring at each other for a few moments without speaking finally Sawyer turned and began walking back towards the others. He couldn't stand it any longer.

Back further down the beach where everyone else was, Locke was in the middle of trying to control the overwhelming amounts of questions that were being thrown his way.

"What's wrong with Kate?"

"Is she hurt?"

"What happened?"

Finally Locke told them straight out that Kate was having a miscarriage. That she's with Jack and Sun and their doing everything they can for her. That he didn't know anything else and wished that they stopped and minded their own business. That he was sure none of them would of wanted to be talked about if the same thing was happening to them.

Right away mumbles came from everyone and Locke heard a few things…

"Must be Sawyers…or Jack's…"

"I can't believe it. I didn't even know she was pregnant."

"How far along do you think she was?"

"Not very far from the looks of it…did she say anything?"

Finally Locke heard one last thing.

"Why is Desmond over there?"

Locke told them to settle down and go on with their day. A few people stood around, worried and uncertain before they began moving around again. Claire stood with Charlie holding the baby and looking as though she was on the verge of tears.

Sayid meanwhile stood on the other side of the tent. Glancing over at Desmond he decided not to say anything. He had watched what had happened with Sawyer. Standing there he then knew why Jack had wanted him to keep guard.

Desmond meanwhile had his head lowered and looked to be praying.

Inside the tent Kate's pants were stripped off and the bleeding still was heavy. Sun soaked some old rags and placed them on her forehead. Jack meanwhile watched her and kept checking her pulse. He knew she would settle down soon and most likely sleep the whole day away. He had seen this happen before.

Trying to pretend his emotions weren't getting in the way, he sat beside her and gently brushed back some of her fallen hair. Kate was crying now.

"Desmond…"

She said weakly, right away Sun and Jack exchanged a look.

A half an hour later Jack covered Kate up and saw that the bleeding would become lighter by the morning. She was now in a feverish state and drifting in and out of sleep. Sitting there with Sun, he sighed.

"She seems okay, bleeding is going down a bit."

"How far along was she?"

"A month…maybe two."

Sun slowly nodded.

"I should bring back some herbs from the garden might help her cramps."

Jack stared ahead, his eyes blank.

"Yeah…that sounds good."

Sun tried to give Jack a small smile before standing and leaving the tent, Jack followed. Right away Desmond stood up, his eyes still wide and scared. Sayid walked over as well. Standing there Jack sighed.

"She lost the baby…there was nothing I could do."

Desmond's eyes dropped before Sayid cleared his throat. Sun meanwhile walked in the opposite direction.

"When…when did it start?"

Desmond asked.

"She was washing up when I heard her screaming…I ran down and saw her standing in the surf…thought she had cut herself on a rock or something became of all the bleeding…"

Desmond looked as if he was going to be sick.

"I ran over as fast as I could…and so didn't Sayid and Sawyer, she was standing there with her hands in-between her legs holding herself. She was saying something but a terrible pain and then I saw the bleeding…that's when we carried her up here."

"Jesus…"

Desmond mumbled. Jack rubbed the back of his own neck before looking at Sayid.

"Does everyone know?"

Sayid shrugged.

"I suppose…word travels fast around here."

Desmond looked completely ashamed before Jack reached out and touched his shoulder.

"Could you wait until nightfall to see her, Sun wants to give her something for the cramps and I think she should be alone…"

Desmond nodded before looking at him.

"Do you know if it was a boy or a girl?"

Jack shook his head.

"She was too early…I couldn't tell."

Desmond nodded, his eyes almost in a daze.

"All right brother, I'll come back at nightfall…"

Desmond's words trailed off as he began walking down the empty side of the beach, his head down. Sayid and Jack stood together for a second before Sayid stared at him.

"That takes a brave man to do what you did."

Jack make a dry laugh with little humor in it.

"Sayid I didn't do anything…Kate miscarried that's all."

"Did you know about the pregnancy?"

Jack looked at him.

"No…why would I?"

Sayid shook his head.

"Never mind…"

"Go back with Locke, if anyone is asking too many questions tell them to screw…Kate needs to be alone."

"Sure."

Sayid nodded and walked away. Left alone, Jack looked at the ocean and felt like crying himself.

A few hours later at dusk everyone was settling down. The talk around the campfires were about Kate's miscarriage. Everyone was questioning it and felt sorry for her. The biggest topic was who the father was. Most bests were leaning towards Sawyer and then Jack.

But they were all wrong.

As the sky turned a beautiful red and gold color, Desmond sat back on the beach completely alone. He didn't want to talk to anyone.

Sitting there, thinking to himself about what had happened nearly two months ago on that warm fateful night. So much time had been wasted on this island, and all Desmond could see was tragedy and death. Sitting there alone he thought back to Penny and then what had happened in the hatch. Breathing deeply he sat back watching the sun set and thought of Kate.

He remembered he was taking a midnight jog underneath the moonlight. He had been pretty depressed lately and didn't know how much longer he could go on like this. That's when he heard crying and saw her further back near the trees.

He really hadn't gotten close with anyone on the island, nor knew that much about her. She was attractive and strong willed, but other then really exchanging names he knew nothing about her at all. Stopping, he went over before she looked up.

"Hey…you okay?"

Kate quickly wiped her eyes before nodding. Desmond took a seat beside her on the sand. The stars seemed to be sparking out.

"I'm fine thanks…"

Desmond looked her over and saw how bloodshot and raw her eyes were from crying. Tilting her head back she rubbed her face and sighed.

"I'm so tired Desmond."

"Of what?"

"Of history repeating itself."

Desmond made a dry laugh.

"I'll check off on that one sister."

Kate looked over and both locked eyes before they began laughing. Kate gave a nervous laugh before both began cracking up for no reason at all. Their laughter filled the jungle and the lone moonlit beach. Holding onto each other and almost crying from laughing so hard, they finally got control after a few minutes. Still giggling, Kate brushed back some of her fallen hair and looked at him.

"Do you think you've wasted your life Desmond?"

Desmond sat there and had to think hard. Finally he looked at Kate and saw how beautiful her eyes looked in the darkness. Crickets chirped in the darkness.

"Not at all."

Kate looked suspired before turning more towards him.

"But the hatch…and everything that's happened to you since you came here…"

"Oh there was plenty of tragedy in my life before I even came here…"

Desmond them took the photograph out of his back pocket and showed Kate.

"See her?"

"She's beautiful…"

Desmond sighed gazing at the photograph.

"That's my one true love…and sitting here tonight I think looking back at everything, I understand what I have to do now."

"And what's that?"

"Let her go."

Kate just stared at him before Desmond sighed.

"I'm sick and tired of looking back at my mistakes and the past…it's just enough for one lifetime you know?"

Kate slowly nodded before looking at him.

"I know I know exactly what you mean."

Desmond tucked the photograph back before looking over at her.

"So…why were you crying love?"

Kate was struck by how handsome his eyes were and how beautiful his voice sounded. Sighing she sat back in the sand.

"Sawyer…and Jack…I guess everything."

"What about them?"

Kate looked at him, she hadn't told anyone what she had really thought. All this time on the island she kept it bottled up inside her.

"I don't love them…I know they love me, and I do care about them…but I could never love them."

"Have you ever loved before?"

"Once I guess…but I had to leave him simply because of that."

Desmond nodded looking ahead at the dark ocean.

"I guess your right love, we're just two people…lost in the darkness."

Kate's eyes drifted up to him before she leaned over and kissed him. The kiss only lasted a few seconds before she broke away and waited for his response. Desmond sat there for a few seconds without saying anything. Right away Kate wanted to kill herself for being so forward and stupid. Before she could open her mouth to apologize Desmond leaned over and covered his mouth with hers. Right away his beard scratched up against her smooth skin as their mouths opened and closed. Finally when then kiss broke, Kate looked at him…his heart pounding.

"This is a mistake…"

Desmond reached over and touched her cheek gently before smiling.

"There's no such thing as mistakes anymore Kate…"

That's when his arms went around her and they began kissing again. Kate felt herself get lowered into the sand as her hands opened up his shirt and pressed up against his chest. Both began breathing heavy as he touched her and gently kissed her down her neck.

The rest of the night in the darkness of the beach the two made love in the sand. Kate only remembered laying there, her fingernails digging into his tanned back and thinking how different this was. When they finished, he rolled off her and gathered her in his arms. He kissed her before wrapping his arms around her and for once…she felt safe.

The next morning, shortly before dawn both woke. Kate nuzzled up against to his chest before looking at him. His eyes opened and smiled.

"Good morning love…"

Kate smiled before she hiked herself up on her elbow and began kissing him. Desmond's hands went on her and both sat up as they began kissing. Kate was completely out of breath as she held onto him and began working her way down his stomach kissing him. A small coy smile on her lips, she laughed as she kissed and tickled him.

Then she heard something. Freezing she looked down the beach and saw Sawyer and Jim walking through the surf, most likely up early to go fishing. Kate and Desmond were hidden by a slight slope in the sand. Freezing she watched them before quickly getting off Desmond and grabbing her clothes. Desmond sat there watching her in disbelief.

"What's wrong?"

"Shhh!"

She snapped at him before pulling on her pants. Sawyer and Jin were a good distance away, but she knew they would be walking in this direction. Desmond sat there for a moment, watching her and feeling confused before he looked behind him and saw Sawyer and Jin. Sighing, he then understood. Kate finished dressing before looking at him. She tried to find the words before Desmond waved his hand.

"Don't worry about it love…I won't say a word."

"Desmond…"

"No…it's all right."

Kate looked at him with pleading eyes before nodding. Turning quickly she began cutting through the jungle without being seen. Desmond meanwhile grabbed his pants and zipped them up before laying back in the warm sand and watching the sun start coming up.

He knew that nothing would go any further then what had happened. It was just a little fling, something to make Kate forget about her worries for a couple of hours.

Desmond shook his head.

How could he have been so stupid.

By the time Sawyer and Jim past him, Desmond was getting his shirt on.

Sawyer cocked a grin at him.

"What's wrong buttons…lonely night?"

Desmond said nothing and got up heading back to the others who were just waking up. Later that day when Desmond did see Kate again she pretended he wasn't there and acted as though everything was perfectly normal. She hung around with Sawyer and the others. Desmond meanwhile stayed by himself and on the outside…as always.

Twice he caught her looking at him, but every time she would look away once their eyes met. Desmond decided not to bother her so he went his way, and she went hers. They didn't speak for nearly a month until she came to him.

She asked if they could talk alone, so he brought her out where the hatch used to be. Both sat looking down at the huge hole of rubble. Kate looked upset and as though she had been crying. Desmond finally sat down and she looked him right in the eyes.

"I'm pregnant."

The words stuck out in the silence. Desmond didn't say anything. At first he didn't think he heard right.

"What?"

"I'm pregnant…

Desmond sat there before looking at Kate as though he had just been hit with a freezing bucket of water.

"Are…you sure?"

"There's no more pregnancy tests, but I'm late…and I'm never late, also I've been feeling pretty awful in the morning…I'm pretty sure."

Desmond's eyes lowered.

"That night…"

Kate nodded.

"Yeah…"

Both didn't say anything for awhile before Desmond look at her and a smile appeared on his face. The last thing Kate thought she would see. Standing up he walked over to her grinning from ear to ear. He leaned over and hugged her tight. Kate meanwhile felt uncomfortable and simply sat back stunned.

"That's wonderful Kate…"

He said softly in her ear as he hugged her. Kate then pulled back looking at his expression.

"You're not angry?"

Desmond thought of what he had said. He was tried of looking back in the past. There had all ready been so much wasted time. He hoped…in fact he prayed wherever Penny was she was happy and had children of her own. He was shocked, yet kept looking at Kate and knew even though it had been a mistake and he had no idea how she felt about it…he was happy.

Desmond laughed.

"Why would I be angry…that's great news."

"Desmond I don't think you understand…I'm pregnant."

"Yes…you just told me."

"But don't you know what this means?!"

Desmond stood back folding his arms with a smile still on his face.

"That we're going to have a baby."

Kate just sat there in shock before she shook her head.

"No…"

She stood up, pushing him away.

"This isn't supposed to happen…"

Desmond took her by the shoulder and looked at her.

"Kate…don't you remember what we said? No more regrets…"

"But Desmond I don't even know you…"

"Well we have the rest of our life's to catch up."

He tried to gather her into his arms but she pushed him away.

"No!"

Desmond stood back, his smile faded as his eyes became serious. Kate shook her head again.

"This wasn't supposed to happen! Not like this!"

Pushing past him she began to run. Desmond yelled after her but she was gone. Standing there in the ruins of the prison he had been in for three long years, he looked at the sunshine drifting in through the trees. Sighing he then thought of the baby and smiled.

He had always wanted to be a father, yet never got the chance.

Walking back to the beach, he knew he would have to talk to her.

But she wouldn't have any of it. He tried twice pulling here aside from everyone else and wanted to talk with her. But she refused. She told him each time that she didn't want to talk. The last time Desmond got a bit angry and snapped at her.

"Well sooner or later we do have to discuss this!"

With that he walked away from her leaving her alone.

A few days past and they didn't say a word to each other. Finally nearly a week later Desmond found Kate in the jungle throwing up. She was having terrible morning sickness. Dry heaving into the bushes, Desmond walked behind her before pulling back her hair gently and placing his cool feeling hand against her warm neck.

"Leave me alone…"

She said before throwing again. Desmond simply smiled before leaning closer and gently kissing her on the earlobe.

"Please talk to me Kate…don't shut me out of this."

Spitting, Kate turned and wiped her mouth. She looked drained of all energy before looking him in the eyes.

"I can't believe this is happening…"

She said. With that he gently ran his fingertips against her face and began to lower himself in front of her.

"Desmond what are you…"

She stopped and watched him. He held her hands yet kneeled down in front of her and nuzzled her perfectly flat stomach. Pressing himself against her, he stayed there for a few moments and closed his eyes.

He could almost see that tiny thing growing inside of her. Part of him…their baby.

Kate stayed silent watching him before he lifted himself up again and stared at her. With that he simply kissed her on the lips and pressed his forehead against hers, leaning down slightly.

"What are we going to do?"

Kate asked, her voice scared. Desmond laced his hands into hers as they stood together in the jungle and told her softly that he would love her…that's all.

She pulled away and told him she needed time to think, just a week or so. Then they would sit down together and figure out what they were really going to do. Desmond looked down at her flat stomach and thought of their baby. Smiling he told her he would wait.

They decided to stay away from each other so nobody would know what was up. He did his thing, she did hers. Time past and everything seemed normal. But Desmond would watch her from afar…thinking that this was the woman that was carrying his child.

He wanted so badly to tell her he loved her.

But then…that windy morning on the beach came.

The night before Kate told Desmond briefly at the campfire that she wanted to talk to him the following night. She had done a lot of thinking and wanted him to know what was going on. That morning Kate woke early and decided to wash up. Crossing down the beach she saw Desmond in the distance all ready up for his morning jog. He was making him way down the opposite side of the beach. Watching him, Kate's heart ached. She knew nothing about him…yet she was pregnant. Thinking back on the warm dark night all worries of Sawyer or Jack finding out were gone.

Maybe this was really meant to be.

It was strange thinking she was preprint, in fact she was pretty scared. Walking down the beach towards the surf she thought for a brief second how lovely it would be to have a daughter.

Taking her shoes off and rolling up her pant legs she went into the surf, her toes digging into the mushy sand. Looking at the early morning, she let the warm water go up to her ankles. Thinking of Desmond…she then had a horrible cramp.

Freezing she stood there for a second.

Then another one came, so badly she almost fell in the water.

When the next one came she doubled over and held her stomach before crying out. The pain was getting worse.

That's when she looked down at herself and saw the blood.

The baby…

She thought. That's when she began to scream and everyone came.

Now Desmond sat watching the sunset. Sitting there he thought of the baby.

His face crumpling up, he lowered his head and began to cry. For the first time in awhile he let himself cry. He no longer cared about his horrible past and all the mistakes he made. He was now crying for Kate and his unborn child. Crying, he couldn't control himself. This island would never let him leave…and would never let him be happy.

That's when Jack came, pausing for a second and then telling him that Kate was asking for him. Desmond quickly wiped his eyes and got up, the sun was almost completely down now. Passing Jack, Desmond heard one word…

"I'm sorry…"

Desmond went straight ahead and then into the hut.

Kate was covered in blankets and sleeping peaceful. Desmond's heart ached as he sat down beside her and stared down at her. Tears blurring his vision, he held back from crying out and took one of her soft beautiful hands. Gently kissing it he held it up to his face.

"I'm so sorry love…so sorry…"

That's when her eyes weakly opened, she looked at him.

"Desmond?"

Desmond straightened up and looked down at her.

"Shhhh, it's all right…don't move…"

"The baby…I lost the baby?"

Kate asked. Desmond lowered his eyes before nodding. Kate began to shake her head as silent tears rolled down her face.

"Shhh…"

Desmond said through his tears and held onto her hand tighten.

"It's okay though…your all right and that's all that matters…"

"I'm so sorry Desmond…"

Desmond kissed her hand again before brushing back more of her hair from her face. He was crying now and didn't even care.

"I'm so sore…"

"Jack said you'll be okay after you rest a couple of days…"

Kate closed her eyes for a second before sniffling in. That's when Desmond looked down at her.

"I love you."

Kate opened her eyes and looked at him.

"I love you…"

Her words trailed off before more tears came. With her free hand she covered her face and hitched in another cry before he leaned down and softly kissed her forehead. Both sat there crying for a little while before Kate looked up at him.

"So what now?"

Desmond moved closer and gathered her up in his arms. He let her lay against him while holding her.

"I'll take care of you…"

Kate looked up at him and saw he really meant it. Sighing, she took his hand that was laced with hers and kissed it. He smiled through his tears before she simply laid there and drifted off to sleep. An hour or so later when it was completely dark out Jack poked his head in.

He saw Kate fast asleep in Desmond's arms.

"She okay?"

He said softly. Desmond nodded.

"Fell asleep just like that…"

"How's her bleeding?"

Desmond motioned towards her lower half that was covered with the blankets.

"Fine…I checked a few times."

"Okay good…she'll sleep through the morning, then I would like to take a look at her."

Desmond nodded.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For looking after her…"

Jack just stared at Desmond before nodding.

"All right, I'll be down the beach…if you need me…"

"I know brother, thanks."

Jack nodded before taking one last look at Kate and leaving.

Alone in the darkness, Desmond gently rocked Kate back and forth in his arms and stared down at her sleeping face. He now knew the reason why he had come to this island in the first place.

To meet her…and take care of her.

Kissing her one last time, Desmond shut his eyes and slept.


	2. Praying in moonlight

The next morning Kate woke from a horrible nightmare. Ever since she had gotten in trouble her nightmares usually were made up of visions of the FBI catching her, or her stepfather burnt alive coming back to get her though the ashes. Lately she hadn't been sleeping, nor dreaming much. Sometimes she would dream normal typical things that she wouldn't remember in the morning. Sometimes her dreams would be about the island…and the others.

But this nightmare was different. She dreamed she was standing in a beautiful nursery somewhere. She dreamed the windows were open and she could see the ocean. A warm breeze blew in blowing the beautiful curtains in and out. In the background the sound of crashing waves and birds crying filled the air. Kate looked around at the nursery before spotting the crib. It was handmade from beautiful white wood, a mobile hung above it with strange bird figures. Kate slowly approached it before she drew in a quick breath.

Laying there was her baby.

Somehow she knew just by looking…that it was hers. The baby was a newborn, bundled in blankets and sleeping. Kate's eyes glittered with tears as she stared down at it. Looking, all the worries of her past and of this island melted away. Just by looking down at the baby a sense of peace overwhelmed her as she controlled herself from not crying out with joy. Leaning down she gently picked the baby up and held it in her arms. She couldn't believe it. Smiling, she held the baby before it's eyes opened and stared up at her.

Beautiful brown ones…like Desmond.

She stood there, holding the baby and smiling.

She was a mother.

That's when Desmond in her dream came up behind her. His face was freshly shaved and his eyes were sparkling with happiness. Smiling, he wrapped his arms around her thin waist and rested his chin on her shoulder looking down.

"She's perfect isn't she?"

Kate smiled.

"She sure is…like a little angel."

That's when the horrible sound came. The same exact one from the hatch. Desmond's eyes looked up and panic washed over his face.

The mobile that hung from the crib slowly began to transform into flickering numbers turning into weird unknown red shapes. It began to count down and spin.

"No…"

"Desmond?"

He let go of her and by the time she turned he was gone. Searching the room she didn't see any doors, the sound became louder.

"Desmond!"

She yelled, scared out of her mind as the sound began to build. Looking down she nearly screamed when all she found in her arms were a pile of empty blankets. Scared, she looked for her baby.

That's when she looked down at her jeans and saw the blood stains soaking through.

That's when she began to scream.

Shooting awake, she snapped up and woke Desmond who had been holding her the entire night. Kate's eyes were wide and scared as they looked around the hut and at the opening that let in early morning sunshine. The sound of the ocean was still there.

"Whoa!"

Desmond said, his grip tightening on her. Kate began to breath heavy before Desmond made her lean back against him.

"Shhhh…it's all right it was just a dream…"

He softly whispered in her ear. Kate blinked a few times and finally truly came awake. Sitting there for a second her eyes adjusted to the new light and suddenly all at once the reality of what happened hit her all at once. Breathing heavy, she looked down at herself covered in blankets. She was still very sore and cold.

That's when her face crumpled and she began to cry.

She was awake now…

They were still on the island and in danger, she was still on the run…and she had lost her baby.

Completely breaking down she began to sob. Desmond held her and pressed his face against hers before kissing her cheek. Tears ran from her eyes as her helpless cries began to get broken up. The horrible truth of it all seemed to finally set in. She was awake now and everything was clear.

She had a miscarriage.

Thinking of the baby, she was ashamed to know that the entire time since she discovered she was pregnant…she hadn't wanted it at all. With everything that was going on a baby was the last thing on her mind…most of all from a one night stand with Desmond.

After she had told him she began to worry even more. She had no idea whatsoever for what she was going to do. She knew she couldn't have a baby…she wasn't meant to be a mother, and most of all on this horrible island. Besides the constant worrying, and thoughts of how messed up things were with Desmond…she hadn't really thought about it.

Other then the morning sickness and catching Desmond staring at her…she hadn't really thought of being really preprint and what that meant. Now none of that mattered.

The baby was dead.

She could feel she was still bleeding and a dull ache was coming from inside her. Still crying, she laid against Desmond as his hands laced around her and he kept gently kissing her cheek and softly whispering that she was all right. Finally once the tears stopped, she cleared her throat.

"The baby…"

"Don't Kate…save your strength."

"I…I lost the baby…"

"You didn't do anything…it just happened…"

Kate shut her eyes controlling any last tears she had, she felt too weak to really do anything else.

"It was my fault…I didn't care enough so I lost it…"

She began crying again as her words broke off, that's when Desmond held onto her even tighter.

"Kate it was an accident…it just happened…"

Kate felt helpless as she laid her head back against his chest and stared ahead as tears kept rolling down her face. Then a horrible cramp came and she cried out. Desmond's eyes became alarmed as she cried out and held onto herself.

"What's wrong? Should I get Jack?"

"No…it's just…"

The pain came again and the terrible thought came to her that right now in fact…she was still loosing their baby. Desmond's hand squeezed hers as he pressed himself against her and the two of them fought through Kate's terrible pain. The cramp began getting worst, almost like a contraction. Desmond pressed the side of his face against hers, both sweating and beyond exhausted. He whispered to her while holding her, saying that she would be okay. Shutting her eyes she began shaking her head. Finally the cramp began to fade and she settled down, letting her body relax. Laying there, she then heard Desmond crying.

He kissed the top of her head before her hand went into his and squeezed it. As another dull pain came she squeezed it even harder. Finally within a half an hour she had settled down.

Around that time Jack came, asking Desmond to leave…right away Kate held onto him, making sure he wouldn't move.

"No…I want him here."

Kate said. Right away Jack's eyes met hers before he nodded and looked away. Desmond meanwhile still sat in the same position behind her, holding her with tired and beaten eyes. Jack then lifted the blankets and checked her bleeding. Kate shut her eyes the entire time, she felt ashamed and dead. Desmond meanwhile kept holding onto her, watching Jack.

Jack who also found himself with shaken hands, cleaned Kate up and but fresh blankets on her. The cramps were dulling now and Jack told her before the evening they would most likely stop all together. The bleeding on the other hand might take until the night, maybe later. She had lost a lot of blood.

Bringing in some fresh fruit and water, he told Desmond to make sure Kate had some of this for her strength. After checking her over he came her some diced up green plants from Sun, which was supposed to stop the bleeding and ease the cramps.

Jack's then rough hand gently touched Kate's face and told her with straight eyes that she was going to be all right. Kate could barely look at him, instead she turned her head away against Desmond's chest and softly began to weep. Desmond meanwhile gently kept rocking her. Jack watched the two of them and felt depressed. Hope was beginning to fade away here.

Leaving, Jack said something about checking on her later with Sun and that she needed her rest.

Laying there in complete silence after Jack left, Kate opened her eyes and wiped her tears away. Desmond meanwhile simply sat there holding her and looking ahead.

After about an hour or so the cramps began to dull and Kate found herself able to sit up against Desmond. Without saying a word he gave her the bottle of water and a few pieces of fruit along with the plant Sun gave her. Kate slowly ate before finally dropping her hands and sighing.

"I don't even know you Desmond…but I really am so sorry."

Desmond sighed, he knew it was false hope with what happened with Kate. After everything that had happened to him, after everything he had lost, and how the hatch had changed him…he thought this was really his one last escape from the terrible pain that had filled his heart. He loved Penny, and would always…but he knew the chances of him ever finding her again weren't there. He prayed she was someplace happy with a family of her own…and maybe, just maybe had forgotten him.

He prayed he had left her heart.

He knew deep down inside they would never leave this island and he would in fact die here. Looking at Kate he wasn't really sure what his feelings about her were. He hardly knew her, nor paid any further mind towards her until that night on the beach. At first Desmond tried to tell himself it was a moment of weakness…that it was just plain sex.

But he began to have dreams…beautiful ones.

At first he thought this woman in his dreams was Penny, until finally she turned and he was stunned to see it was Kate.

In those dreams he was someplace wonderful. It wasn't the island…or home, it was someplace nice.

Someplace in which there were no numbers or death.

That's when he began to watch her form afar and knew that if he was indeed stuck here…that he had fallen in love with this stranger somehow. Thinking of the baby, Desmond's heart ached. Like he had said before he had always wanted children and had always thought Penny would have been the person he would have had them with. Instead here he was…

He did indeed think if Kate hadn't of lost the baby…he would have been able to show her how much he was willing to love her and their child. He didn't see it as a mistake, it saw it simply as a brief glance at happiness. Thinking of their baby and remembering that day when they stood together in the jungle alone. How he kneeled down in front of her and nuzzled his head against her flat stomach where inside his baby grew. He remembered how badly he just waited to feel some movement…any sign of life.

Desmond then kissed her against her face and sighed before holding her tighter.

"I'm sorry to…"

They didn't say anything that entire time, finally Jack and Sun came in and told Desmond to get some fresh air and maybe something to eat. Desmond's eyes remained on Kate, scared to leave her. Noticing that, Jack rested his hand on Desmond's arm and told her she was going to be okay. Slightly nodding, Desmond looked down at Kate and saw she was almost asleep again. This had taken a lot out of her.

"Come back in a couple of hours…after she's slept okay?"

"All right brother, thanks again…"

Desmond left the hunt and began walking down the beach. His head lowered and his hands stuffed in his pockets. Never before had he really felt this alone. His thoughts tried to think of Penny…but he pushed them away.

Approaching the camp he saw everyone was going about their day as if everything was perfectly normal. Watching them from afar Desmond saw Claire with her baby and his heart sank. For a brief moment he saw himself on the beach with Kate and his baby, laughing and teaching it how to walk. Shutting that from his mind, he took a deep breath and could all ready tell everyone would be looking at him differently.

That's when something in the sand caught his eye. Bending down he dug away some of the sand and almost gasped. Lifting it out, he dusted the sand away from it's cover and stared at it in awe. He read the title.

"Charles Dickens Our Mutual Friend"

Holding the book in his hand he nearly cried. Opening it, he was expecting to find Penny's letter. Instead he found nothing. Flipping through the pages he had no idea how on earth it got here. Standing there holding the book, he somehow felt a strange feeling of hope. Holding onto the book tightly he closed his eyes and breathed deeply.

He would fix things…and he would find a way to save them.

Just then Sawyer approached him with anger flashing in his eyes.

"Well, well, well…if it isn't mister buttons."

Desmond opened his eyes and saw Sawyer coming over. This was the last thing he wanted. Sighing, he simply stood still as Sawyer walked over to him.

"What's that you got here? Book?"

Desmond stared down at the cover, his thumb rubbing it with love.

"Yes…one of the greatest."

"Ever read it?"

Desmond look up and didn't answer, instead he sighed and walked past Sawyer and towards the camp. That's when Sawyer's hand grabbed his arm, stopping him. Desmond turned as Sawyer glared at him.

"Listen buddy…I don't know what your deal is but I want you to stay away from Kate you understand? You've done enough all ready."

"Since when did you become her keeper?"

Sawyer then swung his arm and punched Desmond straight in the face. Knocking him down into the sand he tasted the terrible copper taste of blood bleeding from his lip. Sitting there in the sand he looked up at Sawyer as he leaned down towards him. His voice lower and with hate…

"I'm glad she lost it…nothing good could of come out of that."

That's when Desmond's face crumpled up and he lunged at Sawyer catching him off guard. Screaming he began to throw him down onto the sand and punch him over and over again. Sawyer tried to defend himself but Desmond was going crazy. Screaming he kept punching away at Sawyer before two strong hands ripped him off him and threw him backwards into the sand. Taking a second to adjust, Desmond looked up and saw Sayid and Locke.

"What the hell is going on here!"

Sayid yelled. Sawyer sat up in the sand holding his bloody face before spitting.

"Son of a bitch you broke my nose!"

Desmond tried to control his breathing while wiping away the blood that had formed on his face as well. Both men glared at each other before Sayid took out his gun.

"Get control of yourselves!"

Sawyer stumbled to stand up before he pointed at Desmond who still was laying in the sand.

"Your next you bastard…"

Sawyer mumbled before walking away, his head down in defeat. Sitting there without saying a work, Desmond was helped up by Sayid and stood there brushing the sand off him. Touching his bleeding lip, Desmond had no more strength to fight. He was exhausted. Looking down he saw his fallen book and picked it up. Dusting away the sand, he held the book tightly before Sayid moved in closer.

"Desmond…nobody will say anything back at camp, I've all ready had a talk with everyone…it's not their business."

Desmond slowly nodded, he was thankful for that. He knew that everyone would be talking about what happened and about him behind his back. He could all ready see the pity filled glances and awkward moments after this. He knew nobody would look at Kate or himself the same again.

But he just didn't care. Shuffling back to camp, he could all ready see people looking. Hugo walked over, his eyes uncomfortable.

"Hey Desmond…"

Desmond went over to his tent, he wanted to sit for awhile.

"Hi Hugo…"

Desmond kept his head down as he walked.

"Saw you and Sawyer going at it…you okay?"

Desmond shrugged before taking a seat underneath his tent. Hugo stood there for a second trying to decide what to say next. Finally after clearing his throat he looked down at Desmond and sighed.

"Hey…I'm really sorry about Kate's baby."

Desmond looked up and saw that Hugo truly meant it. He had heard that there was a girl who had been killed by accident that he cared deeply for. Looking at him, Desmond saw that Hugo had a pure soul and really meant what he said.

"Thanks brother."

Hugo nodded before walking away.

Left alone Desmond sat back and kept staring at the book.

"All we really need to survive is one person who truly loves us…"

Desmond sighed looking out at the water and nodded. It was true, that's all anyone really needed.

A few hours went by but Desmond sat alone thinking. People past him, often glancing and softly whispering to each other. They were right…word did travel fast.

Finally Sun walked over, her eyes still filled with pity.

"Desmond?"

Desmond looked up before Sun stood before him.

"Kate is awake now, the bleeding has stopped…we just washed up and she want to see you."

Desmond nodded before getting up, taking his book with him. Walking with her the two didn't say a word, birds flew overhead. Finally Sun cleared her throat.

"I'm sorry Desmond."

Desmond glanced over at her and saw she was looking away. He understood why she was acting this way. She was pregnant…and watching a fellow friend have a miscarriage on this terrible island wasn't the best thing for one's nerves. Desmond tried to smile, some slight form of comfort Sun might see.

"Thanks sister…it means a lot."

They then reached the hut. Desmond went inside first.

Kate was sitting up now, the color had returned in her face. Still covered up with blankets, she was propped up against some airline pillows and drinking some water. Jack meanwhile sat beside her. Desmond right away stopped in the opening before Kate's eyes met him.

"Hey Desmond…"

Jack then got up, brushing away the sand that was on his clothes, he then looked closer at Desmond.

"Wow, that looks like a pretty bad cut…"

Jack was looking at his lip. Taking a second, Desmond then knew what he was taking about and touched the now slightly tender cut on his lower lip. Shrugging he tried to smile again.

"It's nothing really…"

Kate looked Desmond up and down with worried eyes. Jack looked as well before nodding.

"Well let me take a look at that later on okay?"

"Sure brother, thanks."

Jack nodded before leaving the two of them alone. For a moment they could hear Sun and him walking away. Kate simply sat there sipping her water while Desmond tried to think of the first thing to say. Finally she broke the silence.

"What's that you got there?"

Desmond looked down in his hands and saw the book, going over he sat down beside her and handed it over.

"Long story, but…it's pretty much my only hope I have left."

Kate looked at the book's cover and flipped through the pages.

"You like to read?"

"I love to read…awhile back I had gotten into some trouble, felt pretty low…this book gave me hope."

"What's it about?"

Desmond smirked.

"Well…I haven't quite finished it yet."

Kate looked up, her eyes sparking. Desmond then reached over and placed his hand on her arm.

"You okay?"

Kate looked over before biting down on her lip. Staring down at the book, Desmond first thought she wasn't going to answer. Finally her eyes lifted and she looked at him.

"I'm fine I guess…"

Kate sat up more before rubbing her arms, Desmond looked over.

"You cold?"

Kate slowly nodded. Desmond then went over to her, sitting right beside her and putting his arm around her shoulder. After a few seconds Kate settled in next to him and laid her head against his shoulder.

"Remember the first time we met Desmond?"

Desmond stared ahead before a dry laugh escaped his throat as he faintly smiled.

"Sure I do…I held a gun to your head."

Kate smiled as well before sighing and looking up at him.

"Well…maybe that was a sign."

"A sign for what…I was going bloody mad down there and I was scared…"

Kate shrugged.

"Maybe a sign to show that we shouldn't of been together."

"What?"

"I don't know…makes no sense, but that night on the beach…"

"Kate don't…"

"No…I have to…if I don't say it now I never will."

Desmond looked down at her, he saw how serious she really was. Sitting up slightly, she looked him in the eyes.

"Desmond…I don't really know how to feel about this…It happened so fast."

"You think it was a mistake?"

"Don't you?"

Desmond looked at her.

"You getting pregnant…that was a mistake?"

"Desmond come on, it was one night. I know you still love that girl Penny…and you always will."

"And what about you?"

"What about me?"

"Jack…Sawyer?"

Kate shot an angry look at him.

"They have nothing to do with this…I mean my entire past…"

"I thought we both said we were tired of looking in the past?"

"Desmond…look at where we are, I was taken by those people just a few months ago…people are dying left and right, things keep getting stranger…and I truly don't know if we'll ever leave this island."

"What does that have to do with us?"

"Desmond…there is no us."

Desmond just looked at her, any smile whatsoever that was in his eyes faded away. Kate looked at him before brushing some of her fallen hair away.

"Me loosing this baby…it's just a sign."

"For what?"

"That we're not supposed to be together…come on Desmond, you really didn't think we had something?"

Desmond looked down, trying his hardest to control his anger. Looking at her, his eyes seemed darker.

"What we had…was a baby, and just because we're both hurting doesn't let you talk that way."

"Desmond we didn't even get a chance to talk things out, maybe it was just meant to be…I mean I lost the baby, it isn't coming back."

That hurt Desmond worse then anything. Shutting his eyes for a second he sighed. Kate looked up at him worried, she was scared she went over the line with him.

"Desmond, listen I'm sorry…"

"I really would of taken care of you…"

Desmond was able to choke out, still not opening his eyes. Kate looked up at him, her eyes also filling with tears.

"I know you would have."

"Ever since that night…ever since you told me you were pregnant, I guess I was able to finally let go of things and look at the future. This island didn't seem that bad anymore…neither did my life, all I could think about was you and the baby."

Kate was touched, nobody had ever said anything like that before to her.

"I'm sorry Desmond…it just wasn't meant to be."

"Piss on that!"

Desmond snapped, his eyes now open. Kate watched him and could see he was upset. Her hand went over into his and held it tightly.

"I guess things just happened too fast, before we could even catch up with it."

Kate leaned up, trying her hardest to sit up. Moving in close she touched his chest through his opened shirt and felt his heart racing. Looking at him a strange odd comforting feeling came, a feeling she had never felt before. Remembering that night they had made the baby, all she could see were flashes of the stairs above them and him kissing her in the sand. She knew he was different…

He wasn't Jack or Sawyer.

He was special.

She knew that hatch had done something to him. She had heard some rumors since she had gotten back to camp that something had happened to him when the hatch blew. That he saw flashes or something like that. Not believing it, she now wondered if it was true. No other man could read her that well…and they were still distant strangers.

Distant strangers who had both lost a child.

Kate looked at him and she knew…

She loved him.

"Desmond…"

She softly whispered. She knew nobody else in the entire world other then Desmond would know the pain in her heart she was feeling right then. Leaning in closer she nuzzled up against his neck and felt his beard brush up against her. Desmond looked down at her with uncertain eyes before Kate rested her hand on his chest…right over his heart.

"Kate what are you…"

She then kissed him.

It was gentle and slow. Desmond was suspired as her lips softly touched his and then parted. Drawing back her eyes met his.

"I would of done anything not to have lost that baby…I'm so sorry Desmond."

Desmond stared at her and for a moment tried to remember what his dear Penny's face looked like. Instead all he could see was Kate, and knew she truly meant what she said. Leaning down he softly kissed her back before resting his forehead against hers. Their eyes locked before his hand went over hers against his chest. Smiling, Kate looked down at the difference in size and in color. Smiling, she sat there and even though at that instant all hope seemed to be lost, he was still here.

Desmond's free hand gently brushed up against her face and he smiled at her.

Shortly before sunset Desmond carried Kate out of the hut and further down the beach away from everyone. Kate was still pretty weak and simply laid in his arms with her arms draped around his neck as they walked. Birds cried overhead as the sky began to change color. Walking further towards shore Desmond kept looking down at Kate before laying her down with care and love. Sitting behind her he let her lay in-between his legs and lay against his upper half as they did in the hut. Sitting there in the warm sand both stared out at the crashing waves.

They sat there for awhile not saying a word, simply sitting together and watching the sunset. Kate daydreamed about what really would of happened if she hadn't lost the baby. So many different thoughts spun in her head it nearly made her sick. She still knew they were in danger, and it was only a matter of time before the others came for them.

But right at this moment, as horrible as yesterday had been…Desmond was here with her.

Taking her hand, Desmond began to kiss her fingertips and softly sing in her ear. Kate listened, faintly smiling before falling asleep again against him. By nightfall, Desmond carried her back to camp and watched her sleep.

Sometime in the middle of the night he went out of the hut for fresh air. The entire beach was silent and thin moonlight fell from the sky.

Looking up, Desmond held his book and prayed.

"Please God…don't take her away to…please…"

With that he went back inside and laid beside Kate.

He didn't sleep for a very long time.


	3. Crazy

In the dream Kate was being wheeled down in a stretcher. Her eyes fluttered open weakly and all she saw were the passing lights on the ceiling. Looking around, all she saw were people in lab coats. Finally she stopped and Juliet came over, dressed in scrubs. Walking over she leaned over to Kate who was frozen. Gently her hand reached over to Kate's perfectly flat stomach and she smiled, an evil awful smile.

"You're all going to die."

She said. That's when the horrible sound of the alarm from the hatch sounded.

With that Kate snapped awake.

It took a second for her to adjust that she was truly awake. Blinking a few times she found herself sleeping in her tent on the beach. It was early morning and she could see the ocean and heard birds overhead. Laying there she finally felt her heart beginning to slow down. Blinking one last time she glanced over and smiled.

Desmond was fast asleep beside her.

His arms were wrapped tightly around her almost in a protective way. Looking him over Kate began to study his face closer. It was rugged, and deeply tanned. His beard was filling in darker, as his hair had grown at least another inch or so. There were faded scars on his face along with his lines of age. Sleeping, he never looked so handsome before in Kate's eyes. Smiling, she snuggled in closer to him before taking one of his hands. Lifting it up, she fitted her hand inside his and laid there for a second.

Two months had past since she had the miscarriage.

It was also two months since Desmond and her discovered that they were better off together then apart. Kate recovered quickly and Desmond never left her side. During her recovery they sat together most nights unable to sleep and just talked. Kate felt safe with Desmond and told him things she had never told anyone else. She had gone into her past, what had happened with her stepfather and her mother. Her arrest, her marriage, and all the horrible events that followed. Desmond went on about his life almost the same way. From his childhood to his broken off engagement. He told her about trying to become a monk and his time with Penny to prison. He talked about how he had gotten on this island and those awful three lonely years.

She had asked him about the hatch and what had happened when he turned the key. She explained what she saw when the others had them on the dock. How the sky turned a purple color and the blinding light and sound. Desmond explained one second he was turning the key, the next he had a flash of his entire life and all the stupid mistakes he had made and was forced to re watch everything knowing it wouldn't change. He then told her how he had woken up in the jungle naked and had no idea whatsoever on how he had gotten there.

They then talked about likes and dislikes, happier things that seemed so simple. Right before Kate decided she was well enough to return back to the beach, Desmond told her not to be scared. Squeezing her hand, he told her he would protect her.

They didn't talk about the baby they had lost.

Instead they came back to camp and a few people took Kate aside telling her how sorry they were and if there was anything they could do…

Sawyer meanwhile kept his distance.

Desmond knew people were talking, most of all about them. But right then, at that exact moment…he just didn't care. With Kate beside him and looking into those beautiful gray eyes…he felt as though there really could be hope.

A week or so past before people began to notice something was going on.

Kate invited Desmond to use her tent. Sawyer mumbled jokes about the two of them setting up house, but Desmond didn't seem to care. He had very little but was happy enough to stay with her. Lately the more time they were spending together, the more he was starting to see how much he really cared for her. The first few nights were awkward, but finally once they got into the swing of things it seemed normal. Soon everyone began to notice that Desmond and Kate spent most of their time together. Kate tried pushing herself, she didn't want any special treatment after what had happened and pretended she was perfectly okay. Often whenever a group went out looking for something, or to just gather food or firewood, Desmond and Kate would stick together.

Jack began to notice them sitting together whenever they were eating. Mostly they sat side by side and Jack found them always laughing. Time past and everyone kept living on the beach. Fear always hung low in the air, but somehow Kate and Desmond didn't care.

They were falling in love.

They had started to show little signs of affection, first hand holding which almost everyone began to notice. Then it came to them cuddling together late at night, often Kate felt Desmond's hands wrap around her whenever the wind was blowing hard in the darkness. Soon Kate found herself unable to sleep without him. Whenever he went out into the jungle with the men, or camped down the beach she felt lonely yet didn't want to show it.

A few times while she was undressing in her tent, he walked in on her like Sawyer had before. Often he looked embarrassed and quickly said he was sorry before leaving. Kate always stood back smiling, he was such a mystery.

Then came the kissing. First it was tiny pecks on the cheek, starting once when Sayid and Desmond decided to go hiking and see if they could find anything in the jungle. Kate had the same overwhelming feeling of worry as she did before whenever Jack or Sawyer left camp. Right before he left he walked over to her with a small smile on his face.

"You all right?"

Kate nodded before he brushed back some of her bangs and kissed her on the cheek.

"I'll be back."

He said smiling. Kate watched him and couldn't believe it.

The more affection they showed, the more people began to notice. Hugo often asked Desmond what was going on between him and Kate, all Desmond could go was look out at the ocean and faintly smile.

"She's special Hugo…that's all."

Nobody spoke about the miscarriage.

Within two months they both knew…

They were in love.

They finally slept together again one night when Kate couldn't sleep. Rolling over on top of him his eyes opened and smiled up at her. Kate took a deep breath before squeezing his hand and making him promise he would never leave her.

As they began to kiss, both thought of the baby.

Now here they were.

Kate laid there watching Desmond sleep and thought of how fast things had happened. Within the last two weeks or so they were an unofficial couple.

Thinking of that word made Kate smile.

It was funny…it wasn't until now, even after the miscarriage that she felt herself be truly happy.

That's when his eyes opened.

Smiling, his free hand lifted and touched the side of her face.

"Morning love."

Kate smiled lazily as she leaned in and softly kissed him. Smiling through the kiss, Desmond held onto her before she nuzzled in closer to him. Desmond simply laid there, brushing back her hair and looking out at the water. Finally Kate looked at him, almost uncertain.

"Are we crazy?"

Desmond smirked.

"That's the only way to survive love…being crazy."


	4. Crystal clear water

A few days later Kate and Desmond found themselves by the falls enjoying their afternoon together. Much to everyone's disgust Juliet had come to their camp and was welcomed with open arms by Jack. The others supposedly just packed up and left…taking Locke with them. Much confusion was going around the beach, and Kate couldn't believe how stupid Jack was being. Everyone was still shaken by the recent events of what had happened and seemed on edge the last couple of days.

Kate meanwhile stayed close with Desmond while in the back of her mind knew something was wrong. The day before Desmond had gone into the jungle with a couple of the men and returned with news that Eko was dead. He took Kate aside telling her not to create panic, but it seemed as though the island that killed him. Having heard and seen stranger things Kate took his advice and didn't say a word. That same day Desmond had ran out onto the beach and dove into the water. There he saved Claire from drowning, when Hugo and Charlie asked how he knew Desmond simply said he had heard her calling for help.

But Kate was on the beach…and she hadn't heard anything.

That same night Locke left them, and it was the same night Desmond returned to their tent drunk and crying. Both Charlie and Hugo looked embarrassed as they helped lay him down.

"Dude he's had way too much to drink…"

"Yeah sorry Kate, he just seems upset…"

Before Kate could say anything they quickly left, leaving her with Desmond in the dim light of one of the lanterns she had. Crying he turned away from her shaking his head, telling her he was sorry. Kate then placed her hands on him and asked him what was wrong. There he turned over and looked up at her with pain filled eyes. He told her he couldn't help it…that ever since he stepped foot on this bloody island everything had gone wrong. About how he finally saw how stupid he had been and how indeed he had landed up here and how no matter what he did…he still made the same awful mistakes. Wiping away his tears he looked at her before clearing his throat.

There he told her that maybe…just maybe the reason why he did indeed repeat the same mistakes in his past was because it was fate that brought him here. Maybe…it was a reason why he came here and met her. Kate shook her head telling him it wasn't true, that he was upset and needed some sleep. That's when he took her arm and looked scared.

Softly he told her that since he had turned the key down in the hatch…things had been different.

He explained the flashes and visions, how painful they had become and what he saw before he woke up in the jungle. There he took her hand, tears still spilling down his cheeks. Looking at her he explained he had a vision the night they first slept together on the beach. The vision had her standing in the surf with blood running down her legs. Shutting his eyes he rubbed his temples and laid back telling her that he knew something was going to happen to the baby…but just didn't want to believe it. Looking at her his voice was broken and unsteady.

"I killed our baby Kate…it's my fault."

That's when Kate slapped him.

Desmond looked stunned before Kate sat back, her face set to stone.

"What happened to the baby was an accident, while it was happening those were the words that you said yourself…don't you dare blame yourself."

Desmond said nothing as he stared up at her. Taking a deep breath Kate finished.

"I know you still love that woman Penny…and I know you curse the day you came here. But don't give me any bullshit about fate, spare me at least."

Kate attempted to stand and leave, hot stinging tears burning in her eyes. Instead Desmond gripped her arm tightly and brought her back to him. Running his fingertips over her face he wiped away her own tears before leaning in close.

"Penny has moved on…she's part of my past. I don't know how much more I can tell you this Kate…but I hate this island and I hated every minute I've spent on it expect…for when I finally met you."

Kate began to cry harder as Desmond brought her in close. Hugging her he explained he was just scared from the flashes. Holding him, Kate rested her chin on his shoulder and breathed deeply.

There she told him that she loved him. When he lifted his head to look at her she cupped the sides of his face and brought him in for a kiss. Shutting her eyes she tried her hardest to just forget about everything and become lost in him. His kiss began getting rougher as his hands began lifting up her shirt. Breaking away for a second both gasped for air. Looking at each other Kate smiled at him and brought her thumb to his lips and softly rubbed them.

"You have nothing to be scared of Desmond…"

"Expect loosing you."

"You're not going to lose me Desmond, not ever."

Smiling finally he began kissing her again.

Today though they found themselves alone in the jungle. Both had woken up early when Desmond said something about going hunting. Dressing, Kate asked if she could come along. Grinning down at her as he grabbed his gun he told her the company would be lovely. For the first hour or so they finally walked through the jungle together. Kate's worries were now faded but she saw how careful Desmond was being. Kate suspected it was because of what happened to Eko. Finally they reached the falls and decided to take a little rest.

Sitting on one of the rocks, Kate had taken off her tank top and now sunbathed. Over the falls there was a clearing and beautiful rich warm sunshine washed over her. Laying there with her shirt crumpled underneath her head as a pillow, she relaxed as Desmond walked close by still looking for wild boars.

Finally Kate heard footsteps and opened her eyes. For a second the sun blinded her, lifting her hand to shield the blaze she saw Desmond standing there with his rifle by his side.

He was smiling.

Kate smiled up at him.

"Enjoying the view?"

Desmond looked down at her still smiling.

"Oh yes…"

Sitting down beside her, Kate sat up and playfully punched Desmond in the arm. Laughing he set his things aside and looked her up and down, bare chested and all ready showing color from the sun. Desmond stared ahead at the falls before sitting back with her.

"Beautiful…"

"Yeah, it sure is…"

That's when Desmond began unbuttoning the rest of his shirt and throwing it aside. Kate watched him as he kicked off his boots and began working on his belt. Smiling, he felt somewhat amused.

"Going someplace mister?"

Desmond then undid his pants before standing up, Kate shifted the sun again by her hand and looked up at him trying not to laugh.

"I guess I'm enjoying the view as well…"

Desmond grinned before diving into the crystal clear water. With a splash he surfaced and slicked his hair back.

"Come on in! It's wonderful!"

Smiling Kate began undoing her pants before standing up herself. Putting her hands on her hips she watched him swim.

"How do I know there isn't piranhas in there?"

"Come on sister, don't ya like to live on the edge?"

Desmond said trying not to laugh as he swan backwards. Licking her lips Kate did see the temptation and within seconds dove in herself. The cool crisp water felt amazing against her skin. Swimming over to him she felt their bodies touch underwater. Laughing and feeling as though she was just a kid she swan closer and helped brush back his dripping wet bangs from his face. There she leaned in and began kissing him.

"Well, well, well…if it ain't freckles and buttons swimming in the local love nest pool."

Right away Kate and Desmond looked over and saw Sawyer drinking a beer and watching them from the rocks. Right away Kate felt Desmond's arm underneath the water cover her breasts. Kate seemed embarrassed as if they were caught doing something wrong. She didn't like the way he was looking at her.

"What are you doing here?"

Kate hissed at him. Right away Sawyer held up his hands in defense.

"Whoa…don't need to get testy…just taking a stroll and couldn't help but see the little show you two were putting on."

Sawyer have a cocky grin that made Kate sick. She felt dirty knowing she had fallen underneath his charm once. That's when Desmond looked at Sawyer and swan slightly in front of her.

"You mind taking off then brother…I don't think Kate likes being on display."

Sawyer mumbles something before rolling his eyes and standing. Tossing his empty beer can into the water he began to walk away.

"Like I haven't seen it before…"

He mumbled before disappearing back into the jungle. Kate could see Desmond was furious.

"That bastard…"

Kate quickly touched his shoulders and swan against him, wrapping her legs around him before resting her head on his back.

"Don't pay any attention to him…"

"And why's that?"

Kate began running one of her hands through his wet, yet beautiful long hair.

"Because he's jealous…"

"Of what?"

"Of me being in love…"

Softly she began kissing up his back and in-between his two shoulder blades. Finally relaxing she heard Desmond laugh before swimming. Riding his back she held onto him tight as he dove underwater. Turning around while still being under she looked at him and smiled.

Both kissed as bubbles floated to the top.

Once they dried off and dressed they returned to the beach. Everyone was getting ready for lunch by then.

Walking hand and hand, Kate couldn't help but notice Juliet and Jack talking beside Claire's tent. Looking over she saw Kate was fast asleep while Charlie rocked the baby with worried eyes.

"What do you think is going on?"

"Don't know…looks like Claire is sick…"

Walking over to Charlie, they asked what was wrong.

He explained that Claire hadn't been feeling well and how Juliet said something about helping her. Both Desmond and Kate exchanged looks before walking back to their own tent.

"You think something might be wrong?"

Kate softly asked.

Desmond casted eyes back at Juliet before walking forward, his hand still holding hers.

"I don't know love…maybe…"

Jack meanwhile watched them.

Once they reached their tent Kate changed shirts as Desmond tried brushing back his hair with his hands. Kate giggled watching him before sitting down beside him. The two were completely alone in their tent.

Slightly yawning underneath her hand, Kate tried searching for another shirt when Desmond's arms wrapped around her waist.

"Let's lay down for a bit love…I'm tried."

Kate couldn't agree anymore. Laying down on the blankets both settled down before Desmond began kissing the back of her neck. Laying there Kate felt worried for Claire and hoped Juliet wouldn't do anything harmful to her.

"I love you Desmond…"

"I love you Kate…"

Desmond said before kissing up her arm and finally resting himself against her. Feeling his beard against her skin Kate smiled and shut her eyes.

The two slept for the rest of the afternoon.

Once Jack stopped by, wanting to see if Kate was around to tell her what was going on. Pulling back the tarp he found Desmond and her fast asleep together. Looking at them Jack sighed before walking away.


	5. Visions in chills

A few days later the temperature seemed to rise on the island to an uncomfortable state. Almost everyone was keeping cool either by sitting in the shade or taking a nice long swim. The afternoon was sticky and the air seemed thicker. Almost everyone felt drained by the heat and mostly sat around or laid down in their tents.

Kate meanwhile wasn't doing much for cooling herself off. Instead she sat on top of Desmond in the privacy of their tent and slowly moved her body up and down in a slow motion. Desmond laid back on the blankets with his eyes shut and his hands gripping the sides of her hips. Sweat almost becoming a gloss against their skin they both softly moaned as the pleasure began building up. Her hair hanging in her face, Kate bit down on her bottom lip before gasping out almost in a cry. Moments later Desmond finished and made a muffled groan before Kate collapsed on top of his chest panting. Desmond tilted his head back trying to catch his breath as Kate laid there listening to his thumping heartbeat. Finally after a few moments Kate smiled slyly before kissing his chest. Moving herself she began working her way down to his stomach. Softly laughing, Desmond opened his eyes and watched her.

Laying her head down against his lower waist Kate nuzzled her face against him before sitting up. Laughing, she looked down at him before rolling over and searching for anything to wear. Watching her, Desmond hiked himself up on his elbow before smiling himself. Looking over her shoulder Kate looked at him.

"What are you smiling about?"

Desmond watched her, never looking so happy before in his entire life.

"Nothing love…just admiring how beautiful you are."

Smiling Kate felt herself blush before finding one of her shirts and pulling it over herself. With her back facing him she couldn't felt but feel this stupid small bit of excitement deep down inside of her. Grabbing a pair of shorts she turned back around and watched him begin to dress himself.

That's when suddenly the tent felt suffocating. Sitting there for a second she saw tiny dots spark across her eyes as she began to feel dizzy. Sweat pouring down her face she gasped for breath, panic starting to build inside of her.

"How would you like to take a walk with me Love?"

Desmond's words began to blur together as Kate's stomach started tossing, within seconds she jumped up and tore for the opening of the tent before running out. Desmond sat there stunned before finishing with his belt buckle and rushing out himself. Taking a second to have his eyes adjust to the bright light he saw Kate running towards the water where Rose was standing doing laundry. That's when Kate doubled over, holding her stomach and throwing up right into the surf. Rose right away dropped the clothes she was washing and rushed over. Kate began throwing again, an awful gagging noise coming from her throat. Right away Desmond rushed down the slope of sand and into the surf. Nearly falling over his eyes looked terrified. Kate meanwhile was throwing again.

"Kate?"

Desmond asked in a high worried voice. Right away Rose held Kate's hair back and tried her best to sooth her.

"Shhhh darling, it's okay…"

Kate spit and then threw up again, the water washing the mess away. By then Bernard and Sun had noticed and began walking over. Desmond took hold of Kate and looked at Rose with concerned eyes.

"What's wrong with her?"

Just then Desmond heard Sun say something about getting Jack and rushed away. Taking Rose's place, Desmond moved in closer holding her hair and wrapped one of his arms around her waist. Right away he felt her stomach muscles tighten as she strained herself and began to dry heave. Within seconds Jack and Juliet rushed over.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know brother, she just started throwing up!"

Kate spit again before leaning against Desmond's body. Right away Jack and Juliet took hold of her.

"We got her Desmond, hold on…"

Desmond refused to let go, instead he helped lead her up the sand. Kate's legs seemed to turn to jelly as the color drained from her face for a moment.

An hour later she laid in their tent with a cool cloth on her forehead. She hadn't thrown up since and claimed she was fine. Insisting she rest, Jack ordered her to lay in the shade for a few hours. Juliet meanwhile stayed in the tent checking if she had a fever.

Desmond and Jack meanwhile stood outside of the tent. Desmond rubbed his beard looking at Jack with worried eyes.

"So what's wrong with her?"

"Could be anything…food poisoning, heat stroke."

"Will she be okay?"

"I'm sure she will, just make sure she stays out of the sun okay?"

Desmond nodded. He saw the way Jack looked at Kate sometimes yet never let it get to him. He wasn't the jealous type and knew where Kate's heart truly was. He respected Jack and saw him as a hero…anyone who saved people's life's was a hero in Desmond's book.

Thanking him, Desmond went in and checked on Kate. Juliet and her seemed to be in the middle of something. The second he entered they stopped talking. Right away Desmond saw Kate was upset and looked at Juliet.

"What's wrong?"

Juliet went to open her mouth when Kate cut her off, shooting a look at her.

"Nothing…just feeling kind of light headed…"

Juliet watched Kate for a moment before nodding. Standing she went by Desmond and left. Alone, Desmond went over to her.

"You okay?"

Kate smiled up at him.

"I don't know what came over me…guess the heat…"

That's when Desmond froze. Within second flashes began going through his eyes. These flashes were of Hugo, Jin, Charlie, and himself in the jungle. He saw visions of blood, the sky, and a chopper. Right away everything seemed to click as Kate's voice broke his trance.

"Dez?"

Desmond snapped out of it before blinking and looking at her.

"What?"

"You spaced for a second…you okay? You look funny…"

Desmond right away got to his senses and tried his hardest to smile.

"Nothing love, just worried about you."

Kate waved her hand while rolling her eyes.

"I'm fine really, just exhausted…I think Jack is right, been pushing myself…"

Desmond reached down before taking her hand and kissing it.

"You sure?"

Kate smiled at him.

"Sure am…"

Desmond then paused for a second thinking of the vision. Looking at her his eyes seemed worried and lost.

"Kate…would you mind tomorrow if you're feeling better…if I take a few of the men into the jungle."

Kate gave a nervous smile before taking a water bottle and drinking.

"What for, something wrong?"

"No, nothing like that…just thought it might be time to get to know some of our friends."

Kate smiled.

"That sounds lovely…I think it might do you good."

"You sure you're okay…I mean if you're feeling poorly…"

Kate cut him off still smiling.

"Desmond, it's fine…I'm okay really."

Desmond smiled at her before leaning over and kissing her on the forehead.

"You sure?"

Kate nodded as he went down and kissed her on the lips.

The next day after Kate proved to Desmond she was in tip top shape, he gently rubbed the side of her face before gazing into her eyes. Kissing, she made him promise to be careful before he left, heading down the beach where Hugo was.

Alone, Kate stood watching him before getting a chill. Rubbing her arms her eyes went over to Juliet who was standing further back on the beach watching her.


	6. Do you love her?

Two days past until Kate heard that Desmond and the others had returned from their "camping" trip. Excited to see him, she jumped up from the spot on the beach where she had been talking with Sawyer. Lately she had tried her hardest to play fair and not let Sawyer's jealously get to her. Sitting there she knew he was enjoying the fact she was alone. Right before she heard that they had returned Sawyer began hinting towards what was really going on between Desmond and her. Sighing, Kate brushed back some of her hair and stared out at the ocean. Lately she had so much on her mind she couldn't stand it, mostly since she had spoken with Juliet. Thinking of Desmond, she thought of what really would happen if they ever left this island. She could all ready see handcuffs waiting for her once she touched the main land. Thinking of him her heart ached until she noticed Sayid approaching one of the tents further back on the beach. Curious, Kate got up while Sawyer was in the middle of talking and went over to where Sayid was going. Sawyer simply sat there before swearing under his breath and getting up to walk away.

Walking towards the tent Kate couldn't help but smile. As worried as she was, the thought of seeing Desmond made everything seem to fade away. Even though it had just been two days, it felt as if it had been a lifetime. Laughing to herself on how stupid she had been acting she kept going until Sayid appeared again from the tent. His eyes serious. Right away Kate knew something was wrong.

"Sayid…what's wrong?"

Sayid brought her over where nobody else could hear them.

"Desmond and the others came back late last night."

"What?!"

"Please…keep your voice down."

Kate glanced around as everyone went about their day and noticed Sawyer walking alone down the beach. Looking at Sayid, right away panic filled her eyes.

"Is he okay?"

"Desmond is fine…but if I tell you something you need to promise not to say a word to anyone…most of all Jack."

"What?"

Sayid motioned over to where Jack was sitting in the shade with Juliet. The two were laughing together and enjoying breakfast.

"I'm sure I'm not the only one who doesn't trust that woman, and it appears Jack won't listen to any of us."

Slowly nodding Kate took a step closer to him.

"What's wrong?"

"While going through the jungle Desmond found a woman who had crashed her helicopter the night before. She was badly hurt but it seems that she was sent here to rescue us."

"What?"

"I don't know if I truly believe her but she claims she was hired by a Penny Widmore."

That name hit Kate like a pile of bricks, right away Desmond's words seemed to repeat over and over again.

"Penny is part of my past."

Standing there in shock, Kate opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. Right away Sayid moved in closer.

"Kate?"

Kate blinked before snapping out of it, right away Sayid knew what was wrong. Quickly he kept talking.

"She has a satellite phone…it works. It appears there's a boat not that far off shore…"

Before Sayid could go any further Kate walked inside the tent, violently pushing the tarp aside. There she saw Desmond sitting beside a very beautiful yet weak looking woman. Desmond looked up, slightly suspired.

"Kate…"

"I need to talk with you right now."

Kate tried her hardest to control her anger. The woman weakly opened and closed her eyes a few times before Desmond quickly stood up. His eyes concerned.

"Kate what's wrong?"

"Now Desmond…"

Kate left the tent and began storming down the beach. Sayid watched as Desmond followed her. Within minutes Kate walked into the jungle, further away where nobody could hear them. Standing there she felt her head begin to swim again. Just then Desmond joined her.

"Kate what's wrong?"

Turning, Kate knew the only thing she had going for her was not to cry. Looking at him she wanted to say so much, instead she took a deep breath and looked him straight in the eye.

"That woman…do you think she's telling the truth?"

"Kate…"

"That Penny hired her to rescue us?"

Desmond didn't say anything for a moment. Dropping his eyes he glanced up at her before sighing.

"Maybe…I don't know. Sayid still needs to look…"

Kate cut him off.

"Do you love her?"

"What?"

"Do you love her Desmond…yes or no, because we pretty much know how she still feels about you, after what did you say? Three years?"

"Kate…please…"

Kate shook her head, all ready feeling the tears coming.

"No…this was a mistake, I knew it was to good to be true."

Kate pushed past him attempting to go back to the beach, that's when Desmond grabbed her arm tightly and yanked her back.

"You're hurting me!"

Desmond made her face him, his eyes were wide and on edge as he looked her up and down.

"We don't even know if that is Penny's boat, or what this woman is doing here."

Kate looked down for a second before taking a deep breath.

"But…if there is a chance that she is here to rescue us…then…Penny sent her."

"I."

"And…if Penny sent her, if she went to all this trouble looking for you after all this time…it means she still loves you very much…"

"Kate…"

"No, let me finish…it means she searched the world for you and might be the reason why we're all saved…right?"

Desmond didn't answer, he looked ashamed. Kate went on, her voice slowly starting to break up.

"So I'll ask you again Desmond…do you love her?"

There was silence between the two of them before Desmond dropped his eyes.

That was all she needed to know. Stepping back and having him let go of her arm she looked at him as tears began to blur her vision. Trying to control her breathing she turned away, not wanting to look at him.

"Kate…I…"

"Go…just go…"

Kate said softly through the tears. Seconds later he tried taking hold of her shoulder but she shook him off. She felt sick to her stomach.

"Kate…"

That's when Kate broke away from him and started running into the jungle as fast as she could. Desmond simply watched her before lowering her head in shame.

A few minutes later Kate was far enough and stopped in a small field to catch her breath. Standing there her stomach started to act up again and she slapped her hand across her mouth before puking. Moments later she spit and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. Standing she felt dizzy and couldn't control the horrible amounts of tears that were rushing down her face.

That's when she heard a voice.

"You shouldn't get so upset…it isn't good for you."

Kate froze before seeing Juliet slowly walk from behind some trees, that same stupid little smirk still on her face. Walking over, hands in her pockets she looked Kate over.

"Still nauseous?"

Kate didn't want to answer her, instead she turned away.

"Leave me alone!"

"I overheard you and Desmond…"

Kate turned, shooting a look at her before Juliet took a step closer.

"Don't worry, I won't anything…but from the looks of you…you're upset, let me just…"

"Get away from me!"

Kate snapped. Juliet looked at her, still completely calm.

"Kate, I know you don't like me…nor trust me. But I know you're scared…please let me at least try to set some of her mind to rest."

Kate stared at her unable to say a word.

Back at the beach Desmond popped his head into the tent telling Sayid who was looking over the phone to yell if he needed him. Sayid's eyes found his for a moment and right away both knew. Nodding, Sayid told him to get some rest and that he would get Hugo or Charlie to come and get him if anything changed.

Softly thanking him, Desmond's eyes went over to Naomi who was sleeping again. Leaving, Desmond walked back alone to the tent that Kate and him shared. Sitting down in front of it he never thought he would want something to drink more then he did then. Sighing he looked out at the water and thought of Penny.

Was it really true?

Then his eyes went down to the water, over near the surf. Right away he remembered that morning when Kate was standing there bleeding and screaming. Shutting his eyes he tried his hardest to fight again the vision. Thinking of her made his heart feel as if it was being torn it two places. Looking at the water he felt terrible.

After all this time…

He thought of Penny again and then thought of Kate.


	7. Flying away

Two hours later Kate left Juliet and walked back to the camp alone. With her head hung low, she past the tall field grass and finally found a path through the jungle. Kicking stones away she felt light headed and disgusted. Not really knowing what to do next she decided to just focus on getting back to the camp. Step by step she took it trying not to think any further then that. Suddenly a terrible rage filled her thinking of Desmond and Penny. How dare they do this to her after everything that had happened. She had only heard about Penny though Desmond and their past relationship. Remembering the photograph of the two of them together Kate couldn't believe how worked up she was getting. She hated Penny, and wished that woman never came to the island claming that she was hired by her to rescue them. Swearing under her breath she remembered what Juliet had said to her before she left the empty medical station.

"You'll need to tell Desmond."

Kate thought about this before stopping. Glancing over she noticed the crashed plane where Boone had died. Standing there staring at it she felt a horrible sense of loneliness. Perhaps it was best if she went with Jack or Sawyer, forgetting Desmond and their stupid few months together. She hated Desmond, she hated him for getting her pregnant, she hated him for not being able to do anything when she miscarried. She hated ever meeting him and wished he had died when the hatch blew up. Hot stinging tears began to fill her eyes when she heard a voice.

"Kate?"

Freezing she nearly screamed when she turned.

Boone stood there.

Kate stared at him with wide eyes in disbelief.

"Boone?"

"Are you okay? You look upset…"

Boone walked over, looking exactly like he did the day he died. Kate watched him before he stood before her, his eyes worried. Kate shook her head trying to look away.

"You're dead…"

"Yeah…thanks for reminding me."

Kate turned and saw he was smiling. Out of nowhere Kate's emotions got the best of her and she weakly laughed through a few tears that were building in her eyes. Boone came over and wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tight.

"Do whatever you think is best Kate…but know this for sure, he does love you."

Kate cried against Boone's shoulder before she closed her eyes. Within seconds she opened them again to find Boone was gone. Standing alone in the jungle she looked around before wiping her eyes. Taking a deep breath she turned around and kept walking towards the beach.

That's when Jack told everyone he wanted them to follow him into the fields. He had something to show them.

Kate followed and noticed Desmond walking further behind with Charlie. Twice they made eye contact but Kate kept ahead with Sawyer. Once they were in the field Jack had one of the trees blow up. There he stated his plan on killing the others and being able to get them all off this island.

The woman who had came from the boat, Naomi held the phone by her side. Kate meanwhile pretended not to even notice Desmond, she knew he wouldn't try to approach her if she stood close to Sawyer.

A day later everything had gone as planned.

Hugo, Bernard, and Sayid had made it. Most of the others who came to their camp were dead.

Also help was coming.

Naomi had been killed by Locke.

But none of that mattered now. Kate knew help was coming and they would finally leave this horrible nightmare. Thinking about what had happened in the last twenty-four hours she felt so confused. Thinking of everything that had happened she chose to stay with Sawyer and Locke. She knew something wasn't right about Charlie's message.

Yet as everyone parted ways she saw Desmond try to walk over to her, his eyes worried. Instead Kate turned and took hands with Sawyer and left. Desmond watched them feeling his heart break before turning and heading towards the beach to be a look out.

A few hours later Sayid and himself were on the chopper heading out.

As he sat there looking at the photograph of Penny he knew he would always love her. And if indeed there was any chance of being rescued he wanted to find her. As they flew away, he glanced back over his shoulder and looked at the island that had held him prisoner for so long. His nightmare was finally ending.

Yet…

He felt horrible.

Thinking of Kate and everything that had happened he hated himself for what he did to her. She knew he still loved Penny…she knew if could never make such a choice again…

So she stayed…

Flying away Desmond put his head down and sighed.

He wished he could have had a chance to explain himself. He wanted so badly to tell her that he did love Penny…always would, but he knew they could never be together…fate had made it like that. She now was married, most likely with a family of her own.

Yet still she was looking for him.

Or was she?

He knew he heard her voice right before Charlie died.

Yet it wasn't his boat.

He didn't know anymore. Thinking of Kate he prayed he would have a chance to make things right between the two of them again. He knew somehow he had to see her again…

Somehow…


	8. The unknown future

A few days later Kate made her choice.

She was going to leave the island. She knew the truth, she knew there was nothing waiting for her when she returned, but she couldn't stay here any longer…

Not anymore.

Kate, Jack, Hugo, Sayid, and Swayer all loaded up on the chopper as Frank took them away. Kate sat back feeling relief and happiness rush through her body. They had made it…they were going to escape.

All she had heard from Sayid was that Desmond and him had been on the ship this entire time. They weren't working for Penny and he knew the military they had just killed were hired by Penny's father for so reason to find the island. But none of that mattered to Kate, sitting there she watched as they left the island behind.

She didn't care anymore.

Her heart was broken…but she felt free.

That's when Sawyer jumped, whispering something in her ear.

Once they landed on the ship they knew something was wrong. Kate tried to find Jin but there was panic as everyone screamed and began running in different directions. She knew there was no time and searched for him. That's when Desmond came out running.

"There's a bloody bomb we need to go!"

"But Jin!"

Desmond forcefully took her arm and began running with her to the deck. All this time had past and they hadn't said a word to each other. Desmond himself had been though enough. He had seen people die in cold blood on this ship, and knew Penny's father was behind it.

Yet as strange as things had been, he had been able to speak with her. Just for a few brief moments.

She had saved him…she still loved him.

That had been what was pushing him along this entire time, to survive.

But now at that exact moment none of that mattered. He ran with Kate until they hit the deck, the blinding sun shinning down on them. They jumped on the chopper as it began to lift off. Sun was struggling and fighting to get off.

Moments after they lifted up in the air the explosion happened. Sun's screams were all they could hear.

Kate sat back, holding the baby. Only a few of them had made it onboard. Everyone else was dead. Desmond sat across from her, their eyes meeting for just a second.

That's when the blinding light came.

Seconds later it was gone.

The chopper just flew over empty ocean. It was impossible. That's when Frank began to yell that the fuel was leaking fast and that they were going down. Sayid took the safety raft and threw it out. Moments later it began to speed down towards the water. Kate was terrified. Seconds ago she watched the ship explode with most of her friends on it.

The island had disappeared…and now they were going to die. Everyone began to scream as Desmond grabbed onto Kate's hand as she held the baby. Kate cried out before the water hit them.

Everything went to darkness after that.

Kate resurfaced coughing and fighting to stay above the water. The baby screamed in her arms and fought to be let go. Kate couldn't believe he was all right. Pieces of the plane floated in the water. She heard splashing and yelling as Jack helped her on the raft. Rolling over, she held the baby as he screamed. That's when her scared eyes searched for Desmond and couldn't find him.

"Where's Desmond!"

Kate screamed.

That's when Jack swam over with Desmond and had the others help pull him up on the raft. Desmond laid there soaking wet and not moving.

"Desmond!"

She was terrified. What if he was dead? Jack began doing CPR as Kate held onto the baby. That's when he coughed and turned over. At that exact moment Kate wanted to wrap her arms around him tightly and tell him the truth.

Instead she watched as he coughed up more water and sat up. His arm was bleeding. Everyone sat there in shock and silence as the raft floated in the empty never ending sea. Desmond looked across at Kate who was now getting the baby to settle down. She kissed the baby's head.

"He okay?"

Kate looked up and slightly nodded.

Desmond kept looking at her.

"You all right?"

Kate nodded again.

"You?"

"Fine…you sure?"

Kate shook her head before sitting beside Frank and Sun. Resting her head on Sun's shoulder she comforted her as she cried.

Desmond meanwhile sat back and watched.

Two hours later the sun went down.

Sitting there as Hugo proved a point about the island being moved by Jack, everyone else sat silently as the moonlight washed over them. Kate sat back holding the baby, trying her hardest to keep it warm. Thinking over the last forty-eight hours her entire mind seemed to start spinning. So much had happened in such a short space of time. It all started with them thinking they were getting rescued. The explosions, the fire, the others getting killed. Kate thought back to Charlie's and Locke's warnings. Choosing sides. Kate thought of how empty she felt knowing that Desmond still did indeed have feelings for his long lost love Penny. At first this all started when she learned that perhaps Penny was looking for Desmond after all this time. That the chopper and boat off shore was from her as well. Finally they would all be rescued by this woman she only knew by a simple photograph. A woman who stole the one thing that seemed right in this crazy life of hers since she crashed here. Her last bit of hope and happiness.

She knew he still loved her.

But when Charlie's warnings happened and they choose sides, Kate thought for just a second Desmond would come to his senses. She knew he had wanted to speak with her, but since she asked him in the jungle…she knew the truth right away. In fact ever since she started falling in love with him a part of her always felt uneasy. A part in the back of her mind that always reminded her that Desmond really loved Penny…that it was just a fling with her and if he had a chance to see her again he would leave Kate in a second. Somehow Kate always feared she was just used in a way to forget about her…numb the pain.

Since the miscarriage Kate worried that was the truth. After Desmond wouldn't answer her when she asked if he still loved Penny, she knew right away by looking in his eyes.

She hoped he might fear that the chopper and people being sent to the island were out to harm them. That Penny had nothing to do with the rescue. She hoped for just a second he would go to her and join her. Instead he simply walked away towards the beach…not choosing a side at all.

Kate thought that's how it would be. She would spent the last few months if they did indeed survive this on the island. Her and Sawyer would be together and she would pretend none of this mattered. She would try to be happy before she died.

Then forgotten.

She prayed everyone wasn't harmed and deep down inside wished it was a rescue and they weren't meaning to harm them. That there was hope for everyone to finally leave this strange and horrible place they had been stuck on for nearly five months.

She hoped Desmond did get saved along the others, along with Jack. She hoped Penny was there to meet them and the two would fall in love and forget about this horrible place that tore them apart. She hoped Desmond wouldn't feel guilty about how things were left between the two of them. She hoped he wouldn't remember her as the girl who miscarried his child just months after knowing each other.

She hoped everyone else would be okay, yet she would be forgotten.

Things would be better that way.

But now after everything that happened, after everything she had seen…she knew it was fate that she was escaped the island and left. Part of her heart ached worrying about Sawyer. He was still such a mystery to her and his words that he whispered before he jumped kept repeating in her mind over and over again. She hoped he was okay.

In fact everyone on the island…most of all Claire, she hoped they were safe.

She looked over at Sun's blank emotionless face.

She's pregnant…

She thought and then remembered Jin. She felt horrible and guilty about what had happened. Now…maybe they might just die out here after everything that had happened.

She thought about herself and how she had made it. Sitting there she looked at Desmond. He sat back, his hair still drying from the water, His eyes blank and staring down at the bottom of the raft. His eyes…worried. Kate sat there watching them, thinking of what she was gonna do. She had no idea that this entire time he was on the boat, suffering strange and awful flashes. Falling further and further down this dark hole he entered when he first arrived on this island. Stranger then what had happened after he turned the key.

He has seen so many people die, yet see hope.

He thought of Penny…

Of her voice Christmas eve. On her beautiful voice that had saved him a second time.

He remembered how both said they loved each other before the line went dead

Suddenly he remembered what had gotten him through those three long wasted years. How he had left her to regain his honor yet harmed her and made so many more mistakes like his past. He thought of her letter, and of her beautiful face. Still after all this time he remembered every inch of it.

His soul mate…

She had waited all this time, still searching. She had never given up.

Then he looked up at Kate, who's eyes dropped quickly as she rubbed the baby's back. Sighing so many emotions hit him at once. A lot had happened, and up until he made that phone call to Penny on Christmas eve…be had been tossing the hardest choice he would ever have to make in his life.

Between Penny and Kate.

He loved both women so much, yet differently.

Kate had been a stranger, another lost soul on the island. Misunderstood and beautiful. He saw kindness in her eyes as both began to seek comfort into each other. He really thought he could never escape the island and thought for sure that he would die on it.

He thought of the miscarriage and how worried he had been. Never before in his entire life did his heart hurt so bad. He had not only lost a child…a child who now he believed he wanted more then anything. A child that after knowing of it's life after it had died crushed him. He remembered blaming himself for not doing anything, seeing Kate's pale drained face and knowing he wanted to love and protect her no matter what.

But she had asked him and known…

He never felt so guilty and torn before in his life. On the island, confused and scared he really had thought it over before things started happening.

If it was in fact not Penny's boat…would he stay with Kate?

He loved her, yet after hearing Penny's words he knew he could never leave her.

He felt terrible.

He had hurt Kate, and left her alone.

That's when they saw the boat and Jack told them with serious eyes that they would have to lie. Moments later he heard voices and then Penny's name.

"Did you say Penny?"

Desmond jumped up. Kate held in all her strength to not cry. Instead she held the baby tighter.

"Desmond!"

She heard her voice. Seconds later he was rushing onboard to see her. Kate watched and knew now…he was forever lost to her now. He loved Penny…she would be left behind.

Jack noticed the hurt look in Kate's eyes and squeezed her hand. Kate looked up with thankful eyes as Jack helped her and the baby on board.

She saw Desmond and her standing together. His arm around her and tears of joy in her eyes.

Kate's heart broke as Jack guided her. Desmond seemed so excited, so alive.

Penny said hello to everyone, but Desmond's eyes seemed serious when he said Kate's name. Everyone glanced at each other as Kate stiffly hugged Penny with the baby in her arms. Standing back Desmond introduced Jack who stepped forward. Desmond watched as Kate walked over to Sun and faced the other way.

It was the moment all of them had dreamed about for so long.

Yet now…it seemed different, hopeless and scary.

Everyone was brought inside and given warm clothes. Kate stuck close with Sun who seemed to be in a dazed state of shock. They changed the baby together and wrapped him in warm clothes. Kate moved slowly and tried not to think. She kept going back to Sawyer's words, and about the island…

Her she was with the baby…

And Claire?

She didn't know.

Dinner was served but Sun and Kate skipped it. Instead they sat on the deck watching the moonlight. The baby had been given some milk and put to bed. Hugo was watching him as everyone else talked downstairs.

Kate didn't thinks she could stand one minute watching the two of them together. Instead she stayed outside, looking out at the dark water with Sun.

That's when she heard him.

"Kate?"

Turning, Kate saw Desmond on the deck. His blue shirt still on, his hands shoved in his pockets. His eyes seemed serious and worried.

"Can I speak with you alone?"

Kate and Sun exchanged looks before Sun got up.

"I'm going down to check on the baby…"

Moments later they were left alone. Kate sat there looking at him as he walked over.

"Kate…"

"Desmond don't…go back downstairs, you deserve to be happy."

"Kate please…I can't tell you how badly I feel about this…I've dreamed about this day for three long years…even more since the two of us were apart for so long, I made so many bloody mistakes, and I've been trapped there this entire time."

Kate held back her tears.

"I know…"

"No you don't…Kate I never wanted to hurt you. I do love you…but…"

"But Penny…"

Kate's words drifted off before she tried to look down at her hands for a second. She saw they were slightly shaking.

"It's okay Desmond…we shared something special but that was there…we have our own life's now…yours is with Penny and I'm happy for you."

Desmond looked at her.

"You don't mean that."

"I'm trying…let's just leave that at that."

She stood, looking now right in his eyes. Right when she was tempted to tell him, yet knew she needed to give him a clean break. None of this mattered anymore.

She gently touched the side of his face, against his beard.

"Life your life Desmond…life it."

That's when she walked past him, hurrying her way down the deck to Jack.

She barley spoke to him the rest of the time. There they sailed around as she kept her distance. She was nice to Penny and saw what a kind woman she was…but she couldn't stand to see the two of them together. It hurt her heart too much. So she stayed with Jack, right beside him and focused on the baby.

Finally they made a choice.

They would lie.

Setting up the raft, everyone got ready to finally take off. Kate locked eyes with Desmond for a second before he stepped over. Reaching over he gently touched the baby's head before looking at Kate.

That's when he softly said.

"I love you Kate."

Kate looked at him before glancing over his shoulder at Penny who was saying goodbye to Hugo and Sayid. Sighing she clutched onto the baby tighter before looking at him.

"Goodbye Desmond…"

She quickly turned and got onto the boat. There she watched as they began to row away Desmond standing with Penny watching them go.

Kate saw him looking at her, his face unhappy.

Instead, Kate turned and faced forward to her now unknown future.


	9. Photograph of a new life

_**Three years later**_

_**Kate couldn't believe what she was doing. Sitting there on the plane, she nervously clutched her hands together while eyeing her friends. Were they insane? Thinking back on the past three years her heart ached. It seemed as though nothing had been the same since they left the island. Looking back, she had completely mixed feelings on the events that had happened. Somehow, sitting here right now…she felt as though time was slowing down.**_

_**All those years of running, all those years of feeling scared and hunted. Then she crashed there, that strange yet beautiful place that brought pleasure and pain. So much death had happened it seemed blurred. Sitting there she looked back at all the heartache and why she had left the island in the first place.**_

_**She needed to save herself and her baby.**_

_**Opening up her purse, she dug inside and brought out her wallet. Underneath the small light above her seat, she opened it up and looked at the photograph she had inside. **_

_**It was taken of her and Aaron, and Sydney. **_

_**Her daughter…**_

_**Lightly her fingertips danced across the photograph. In it she was laughing and sitting on her front lawn. Aaron and Sydney both in her arms. Looking at their tiny faces, she prayed she was doing the right thing.**_

_**When she had left the island, it became clear that she needed to escape. Her short, yet brief affair with Desmond was shattered the moment she saw the truth in his eyes.**_

_**He still loved Penny.**_

_**Thinking back at the miscarriage, she tried her hardest to pretend it was a sign. That it was fate showing her that they just didn't belong together. Thinking back at their time together seemed so long ago. She had discovered she was pregnant shortly before everything had happened. After briefly speaking with Juliet she understood the dangers of what would happen if she did stay.**_

_**In fact it might have had something to do with why she lost the first baby.**_

_**Thinking of her unknown future back home, she decided to risk it all just to protect her unborn baby. The entire time she didn't speak a word of this to Desmond. She knew by right he needed to know…but she didn't want that to be some excuse for him to stay. **_

_**So she left, and like the others she lied. **_

_**Taking Aaron, she only hoped she would be able to do this. Only a few months after learning the truth she was set free and able to live a normal happy life. Jack was uneasy to enter her life again because of Aaron, but within time he came around and for a short period of time, things seemed okay.**_

_**Then…**_

_**She told him about the pregnancy.**_

_**He seemed distant and began lashing out. Within her fifth month he had left and she was alone.**_

_**But she was free.**_

_**Free of the guilt and fear. She promised herself that she would build a normal stable healthy life for Aaron and her unborn baby. That even though it was just her…that she would be able to fend for herself like she always did. Mostly at night she had dreams of the island. Dreams of Clair, dreams of the miscarriage…and dreams of Desmond. Some night she would hike herself up in bed and stare out her window at the full moon in the sky. Always wondering in the back of her mind if Desmond was happy.**_

_**She hadn't heard from him in all this time. In fact…she hoped she never would. She wished he was happy, with Penny and finally finding peace in life. Looking at her stomach as it grew each day, she kept thinking about what she would tell this child once it grew up. What would she say about it's father?**_

_**That he was a good man who died before she gave birth. That he would of loved this baby more then anything in the world. That she just wanted him to be happy and free like her.**_

_**It was tough and lonely, but she had Aaron and slowly found ways to move on.**_

_**Finally she gave birth late one night at the general hospital. The doctor and nurses claimed she had called out the name "Desmond" during the labor. At the end of all the clouded pain, she laid there completely drained and holding her tiny little baby. Tears in her eyes she looked down at what Desmond and her had made and smiled before kissing it's little hand.**_

"_**Hello darling."**_

_**Sydney was a good baby, and as hard as it was having two young ones she got along fine. Jack came around once and again but slowly they grew apart. Hurley came by once before he was sent to the hospital and even commented on how much the baby looked like Desmond. Smiling, Kate remembered rocking the sleeping baby back and forth before Hurley asked…**_

"_**Does he know?"**_

_**Kate brushed her bangs out of her face before shaking her head.**_

"_**No…and he never will. I want him to live his life with Penny."**_

_**And so she raised her two children, happy and with little regret.**_

_**When John came, telling her about the island Sydney and Aaron were upstairs having their nap. Kate replied no…she had no reason to go back.**_

_**Sydney got Kate's eyes and Desmond hair. She was a cute chubby little baby that Aaron adored. Her life seemed perfectly happy before Jack came to see her one last time.**_

_**Now here she was, going to return.**_

_**Sydney and Aaron were with Sun's mother. She prayed they were safe.**_

_**Kissing the photograph she took a deep breath before the plane began to shake.**_


	10. A reason to live

Kate and Sawyer stood together as Richard carried the young Ben away in the jungle. Sunlight spilt through the openings of the trees around them as Kate suddenly thought back on when she left Aaron and Sydney.

She had just finished telling Claire's mother the truth that she had kept these three long lonely years. An overwhelming feeling of relief and heartache filled her body as she walked down a few rooms down to finally say goodbye.

She had explained as much as she could, and warned Claire's mother that nobody…no matter what could ever know. It might put these two innocent sleeping children she was walking towards in danger. Claire's mother as scared and as confused as she was hugged Kate tightly and told her that she knew in her heart that Claire was still alive. The two women stared at each other, tear filled eyes locked and Kate promised she would find her daughter.

She had briefly explained that Sydney was in fact hers. Not going into any further detail she remembered her many visits to Cassidy and how she had finally spoken out loud about Desmond. Finally when Cassidy knew Aaron wasn't hers, she had asked the same about the sleeping baby in the car seat that Kate gently rocked with her foot while the two shared coffee.

"She's mine…"

Cassidy smiled from her sofa before looking down at the baby.

"She looks just like you."

"I think she looks like her father…"

"It isn't…"

Cassidy couldn't finish, she had all ready asked about Aaron. Kate smiled warmly before shaking her head.

"No…it isn't Sawyer's or Jack's…his name…was Desmond, I met him on the island."

Thinking back as Kate reached her motel room, Claire's mother and Cassidy were the only true outsiders who really knew about the island and what had really happened, as unbelievable as it really sounded.

Kate told Claire's mother that Sydney's father didn't survive.

"Was he on the plane?"

"No…he had lived on the island for three years, he helped a lot of people but died while we were trying to escape…"

That was it for questions. As for Cassidy, there were more.

She asked if Sydney's father was still alive. Kate answered yes. He had also gotten off the island but the woman who rescued them was his old girlfriend who hadn't given up looking for him all that time.

"How romantic."

Cassidy said rolling her eyes. Kate tried to smile but it hurt, going on she breathed deeply while glancing down at the baby.

"I got pregnant on the island…I miscarried the first time and then it happened a second time but by then a lot of people had died and I saw that look in his eyes when he finally saw his girlfriend…I couldn't ruin that."

"So you never told him?"

Kate shook her head.

"I was just thinking about my baby…nothing else. Being involved was just causing more of a mess."

"How long were you two…well together?"

"We barley were. The first time was just a one time then…the second time I really thought he loved me."

"Until his long lost love came to save the day."

"She's a good woman Cassidy…as much as I want to hate her she saved us."

"Where is he now?"

Kate shrugged.

"I have no idea. He went along with the cover up. Nobody knows about him."

"And he doesn't know about Sydney?"

Kate shook her head as Cassidy looked at the baby again.

"Well Kate…you have two walking talking reasons to wanna move on from that nightmare."

Thinking back Kate shivered. She reached the room and opened the door. Both Aaron and Sydney were fast asleep. Fighting off tears she silently said her goodbyes to them before leaving. Taking one last glance she choked back tears and shut the door.

Claire's mother waited for her outside.

"I'll take care of both of them…and wait for you."

Kate thanked her and went off into the night.

Now watching Richard take Ben away she suddenly had the most awful and sickening feeling go through her. Not only was she stuck in 1977...

She most likely would never see her two babies again.

Looking at Sawyer, the two began walking back…all the meanwhile she thought of Desmond.


	11. Unable to keep control

On a warm sunny morning Desmond sat behind the wheel of the jeep Penny and him kept in self storage whenever they were at this port. At first Desmond joked about with it not working properly after nearly a year of sitting, but sure enough the engine roared to life and he was rewarded by a warm smile by Penny watching.

Running after grocery's Desmond listened to the radio as he pulled out of the small market. Little Charlie was just starting to grow teeth and Penny made a list of the different foods he would need next time they set out. Perfectly happy, Desmond drove thinking of how wonderful his life really was.

Then…for no reason at all he had a small and brief vision.

He saw Kate kneeling over in the surf, her face filled with pain and blood gushing down her legs.

Snapping out of it, he faintly heard her cry his name. The same exact way she did the day she miscarried on the beach. A painful memory Desmond and kept buried deep in his heart. Driving forward, he suddenly thought back at what had happened just a few days ago.

"You can't be serious? Are you all talking about going back to the island willingly?"

Desmond hadn't seen Kate, only Jack, Ben, and Sun. Storming out he felt outraged. He finally wanted to put that awful nightmare behind him. Anyone who listened to that crazy bastard Ben was insane. Driving back to Penny and his son, he tried his hardest to just pretend it was all a bad dream.

Desmond hadn't mentioned to Penny about Kate and him. The way he saw it…their relationship took place on the island and ended the moment they left. He made a choice and as of right this moment he was decremented it was the right one. Penny was his long lost love. Penny was the person who kept him going all those years. Penny was his last ray of hope and was the reason they had been saved. Desmond believed the moment Kate lost the baby, which was a simple result of one night ended the way it should have. Desmond felt guilty for truly thinking he could love again and fooled Kate into the same exact thing. Penny was his soul mate. Kate was just…well it really couldn't find the exact words for her. A mystery perhaps?

Whatever she was he knew deep in his heart he had loved her, and would of loved that baby very much. Thinking back of the last time they laid eyes on each other he felt his heart begin to dully ache. Somehow he knew something was wrong, just the way she said her goodbyes and told him to live his life.

What had she been hiding?

Was he a terrible person? Thinking back at the last three years with Penny, all this happiness seemed a complete blur. But all this time…in the back of his mind he thought of her.

Just a few days ago as Charlie was giggling watching him tie the boat over towards the dock, for some odd reason he thought of what the baby Kate and him would of looked like. Quickly he pushed this thought away and scowled himself. Life had given him this chance…he wasn't ever going to break it.

Did she really go back?

Clutching the steering wheel. He prayed his friends weren't that stupid. That island was an awful place which was filled with death.

Thinking back when he held that dying man George in his arms, he thought what if he had a girlfriend or a wife? Did anyone knew what had happened. Driving towards the harbor Desmond had an awful feeling. Maybe things would have been better if the flashes had killed him.

Parking he got out and began to get the bags out of the back.

That's when he saw him.

"Hey! What are you doing here?"

Desmond stared at Ben, before he could do anything else Ben turned and fired the gun. Feeling the bullet go into him, Desmond fell backwards on the pavement hard. The next few moments were darkness.

"Kate? Penny? Where are you?"

He searched in the darkness before he heard Penny's faint cries begging. Opening his eyes, he gained enough strength to stand. Blood pulsed out of the throbbing wound. Hissing against the pain Desmond watched as Ben aimed the gun at Penny as she stood helpless on the boat.

"No…"

Desmond whispered. Feeling rage fill him, he charged as fast as he could towards Ben and tackled him. The gun few off the dock and into the water as Desmond began punching Ben over and over again. Feeling darkness overtake him, Desmond felt completely numb. Gritting his teeth like an animal he suddenly felt no pain from his shot. Grabbing Ben he tossed him onto the water and watched him sink.

Standing, he felt his heart rate climb as he breathed heavy and felt himself unable to get control.

Penny stood on the boat speechless before Desmond locked eyes with her.

"Are you all right Kate?"

"Who's Kate?"

Penny asked in a scared voice. Desmond was horrified to come into focus at what he said. Staring at her Charlie began to cry.


	12. You made your choice

Desmond woke in the hospital later that night feeling groggy and sore. Laying in bed, his shoulder felt strained and slightly numb. Just then Penny, with exhausted looking eyes came in holding back tears.

As he came over, Desmond looked at her and felt his heart swell. He wanted to finally put the madness of the island behind him once and for all.

"I'll never leave you…I love you Penny."

Smiling, Penny leaned in close and kissed Desmond all the while in the back of his mind he thought of Kate.

At that exact moment Kate was dreaming.

Back on the island…or back nearly thirty years ago she was living in a surreal blurry mirror of reality. She was back with her friends, yet ever since they arrived everything seemed to be going wrong. Sayid had shot Ben and ran off into the jungle, and Kate had joined up with Sawyer yet again to help the small boy that would later grow up into a monster.

Tired and out of sorts after returning of the jungle, Kate had no idea whatsoever in what to do next. Somehow everything seemed like a complete nightmare no matter what they did.

Drifting off, Kate had an odd dream.

She was on one of the beaches on the island. One she had never seen before. It was a beautiful evening in which the sky had turned golden and the clouds purple. She was sitting in the sand watching the water when someone had sat down beside her.

Turning, she saw it was Richard.

He gazed at her and Kate said nothing. She knew very little about him, only that he had helped them when they needed it.

"I wouldn't worry…Jack will take care of everything."

Kate looked at him, slightly confused.

"And Desmond?"

"Desmond…well he can take care of himself. After all…he did make his choice…and you made yours…didn't you?"

Kate suddenly felt very uneasy before Richard slipped his hand into hers, holding it tight. The intense darkness of his eyes locking with her scared brown ones.

"Kate…no matter what you do, nothing with change…this is your destiny."

Before she could say anything else he was kissing her.

Snapping awake at that exact moment, Kate heard gunshots in the distance.

Gasping out of breath, her eyes looked around before she remembered her dream right away, and Richard's kiss.

What did he mean she made her choice?

Feeling extremely uneasy, Kate got up and followed the sound of the shots.


	13. A new life

"Sawyer! We have to go!"

Kate pulled on Sawyer's arm as he stared blankly down at hole in which Juliet had fallen into. Large objects and rubble are flying past them and it was getting harder and harder to move away. Grabbing onto him, Kate fought forward trying to find where Jack was.

How did this all happen?

She thought to herself.

She had returned to the island, but somehow she felt as though it had all been some terrible mistake. Ever since they arrived it seemed as though one horrible thing after another happened.

Her thoughts went to Sydney and Aaron, their sweet sleeping faces as she left them in the motel room.

Now as she pulled away, she thought of what risks she truly were taking. If the bomb was supposed to do what Jack and Sayid had rigged it for…would it all be for nothing? Thinking back on the last three years, she really didn't know how she felt about it working or not. What if in just the blink of an eye she found herself in handcuffs and landing in Los Angeles. Would she remember everything? She hoped she wouldn't. Somehow knowing about her life and her heartbreak with Desmond and the daughter they shared seemed too much. How could she even live with herself sitting in a jail cell knowing her baby girl never even existed.

Also…where would Desmond be?

A stranger, just like all her friends. Perhaps never knowing nor caring about her.

She thought of her baby again, her beautiful daughter.

If the bomb didn't work, and they were all killed…would she look back on her life and not see it as a waste? Thinking of the miscarriage she had on the beach, her heart began to slowly ache. Maybe it was true…maybe everything did happen for a reason.

If somehow she escaped this nightmare, no matter what did happen…maybe, just maybe she would find Desmond wherever he was and just let him know she had wanted him to be happy. That she knew the moment she confronted him in the jungle, that he still loved Penny and that she was perfectly all right with that. All she wanted was him to find peace.

But still, she wished she had let him know about the baby. Even though she knew she was in safe hands with Claire's mother, she wished she had left Sydney with Desmond. She had the right to at least be with her father and see what choice he would make then.

Trying to run, she thought of Jack.

Where was he?

Then…

A blinding white light came. Kate screamed, squeezing Sawyer's hand before…

Her eyes opened.

A tent?

She was staring up at the ceiling of a tent.

She heard the ocean, it's waved crashing against the surf someplace in the distance. Her eyes shifted from side to side and for a split second she thought as though she perhaps had been dreaming. Maybe this had really been some terrible nightmare.

Maybe she would wake up and she was still at the Dharma village. Staying in her new house in 1977 and still trying to figure out what they were doing here.

Maybe she would wake up in her lovely house in Los Angeles and have Jack sleeping beside her. Aaron and Sydney in their bedrooms down the hall.

Maybe she was in a jail cell, waiting trial.

Maybe she was back on the beach, the original beach in her makeshift tent, listening to the ocean like she had so many mornings, slowly waking up.

Maybe Desmond was with her, sleeping close with his arm over her in a protective manner. Kate then felt it and she nearly let out a large gasp of air. Feeling pressed down, Kate hitched in a quick breath before realizing somebody was making love to her.

Desmond? Sawyer? Jack?

No, it wasn't any of them.

Kate got pressed in harder, slowly sinking down in the pillows underneath her as the weight of this man's body laid on top of her and moved. Kate gripped the sheets around her, nearly crying out when he lifted his head, his eyes studying her.

Kate nearly screamed.

Richard.

His mouth then suddenly covered hers, before the kiss broke and he lowered his head against her shoulder. Feeling his warm breath against her skin, Kate couldn't believe where she was. She had to be dreaming again.

Then she felt him finish. Seconds later he rolled over her and gathered her in his strong arms. Bringing her closer to his chest, he pressed his forehead against hers.

"My, I didn't think I still could hold that effect of utter suspire on women like that anymore."

He smiled as Kate suddenly knew she wasn't dreaming.

This was real.

She stared at him.

"Richard?"

Richard gently kissed her before laying beside her.

"Yeah?"

"Richard…you're Richard Alpert?"

Richard smiled.

"Yes…and you're Kate Alpert my wife."

Kate's eyes widened.

"What?"

Richard laughed bringing her in close.

"You okay hon?"

Kate pulled back slightly.

"Oh my God…"

Quickly she pulled out of his arms and got out of bed completely naked. Richard meanwhile hiked himself up on one elbow and stared up at her confused.

"Kate?"

Kate looked at him, slowly shaking her head and backing away. The side of the tent was completely open and facing the ocean. It was a beautiful sunny morning as birds flew over head in the sky.

Kate felt sick.

"Where…am I?"

Richard then right away looked concerned, Throwing the sheets back he stood up and went to her. His body lean and tanned by the sun.

"Kate what's wrong?"

Kate tried pushing him away but he gathered her in his arms. Kate then noticed a beautiful old fashion sea stone strong on her hand. It looked as though it was centuries old. Richard held her as she felt every part of him press up against her exposed body.

"Shhh…"

He gently said, nuzzling up against her.

"How did I get here?"

She snapped, she was scared out of her mind and wanted to know where her friends were.

Richard looked confused as he looked straight in her eyes.

"What are you talking about?"

"How did I get here?"

"When you swam back to the island…when the freighter blew up…you were thrown from the chopper with you're friends and you washed up on shore…I found you."

"What?"

Kate pulled back, this time Richard looked more then worried. Shaking his head he walked over.

"Kate…what's gotten over you?"

"The others? Where are they? Sawyer? Juliet? Where are they?"

"By the time we reached their camp it was deserted…we looked everywhere. You were the lead of the search party."

"What?"

"Kate we looked for two straight years…all over the island, there's nothing."

Kate felt her insides begin to shake.

"Not…even in the Dharma village?"

"No, it's deserted…Kate you know we looked everywhere. Maybe they all left."

"No…"

Kate pulled away as Richard tried to place his arms on her shoulders.

"Kate, you've lived with us for the past three years…we're married."

Kate couldn't believe it and shook her head.

"No, I can't be…"

Richard and held up his left hand showing a wedding band.

"Kate are you all right?"

"Desmond…"

She softly said.

What was happening? Where was she?

"Desmond hue?"

Kate looked up as Richard said this.

"He was on the chopper when you fell, you told me this."

Kate then looked down at her perfectly flat stomach. If three years had past…"

"My baby?"

Richard raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

"My baby! I was pregnant when I was in the chopper, what happened to my baby?!"

"Kate relax…"

"What happened!"

Richard sighed.

"You lost it when I found you washed up on shore…it's was for the best anyways, you would of died if you had it."

Kate felt herself get sick. Her baby Sydney gone? Just like the other baby?

Kate felt the room spin.

"No…"

Richard grabbed her before she fell and held her with strong arms. Bringing her to the bed, he laid her down and gently rubbed her sides.

"Shhhh, you're okay…this just happens sometimes."

"What?"

Kate said choking back tears.

"You get confused that's all…it's okay baby, relax…"

Richard began kissing the side of her and rubbing her with his cool feeling hands. Laying there in complete shock, Kate stared off into space praying this was just a dream…and when she would wake up, everything would be normal again.


	14. Life in a glass bottle

Nearly a half an hour later Kate found herself sitting on the edge of the bed and finishing dressing. She couldn't believe there was a whole trunk full of clothes her own size. Most of them were simple neutral colors but seemed to fit perfectly. Once with them on she felt better, she felt exposed in front of Richard.

Richard meanwhile sat across from her at what looked to be an old fashion wooden desk. He was slipping on boots and watching her.

Kate looked out at the opening of the tent and saw the beautiful crystal clear ocean. Somehow it never looked so pretty before. Finally she looked back at him, brushing a strand of hair from her eyes.

"What did you mean this happens sometimes…that I get confused?"

Richard looked at her.

"Sometimes you just wake up, or go into a trance and when you break out of it you can't seem to remember anything. You don't know me or how you got here."

"How long has this been going on?"

"Only a couple of times, doesn't last long though."

Kate sat there, she couldn't believe it.

"Richard?"

He looked at her.

"I have something to tell you…something I don't even think you'll believe. I know for a fact it wasn't a dream or anything like that."

Richard folded his arms and listened before Kate took a deep breath.

"Do you remember the bomb?"

Richard's expression changed right away.

"What?"

"The bomb…in the 1950's I heard you were told to bury it…did that happen?"

"How did you…"

"Richard…all I remember is that I didn't fall from the chopper. We were rescues… six of us. Jack, Sun, Sayid, Hurley, Aaron…Claire's baby, and me."

"Kate what are you talking about?"

"Let me talk…Desmond was also rescued, and the person who found us was a woman named Penny Widmore. Desmond stayed with her and we returned home…they called us the Oceanic 6. We all lied about the crash…and of the island because right after leaving it there was a bright light and it disappeared…"

"Kate stop this…"

"We all lived this lie for three whole years before Locke came back and told every single one of us that we had to come back…that the island was doing something…that it kept jumping back in different time periods…finally it stopped in 1977. That's when all of us returned and horrible things started happening. I met you…when Ben Linus was shot as a child. You told me he could never be the same if I let you heal him. Then the bomb happened…"

Richard then suddenly stood up, his eyes almost angry.

"Kate, you're not making any sense…"

"But it happened…back home I had that baby, it was Desmond's and I named her Sydney. I raised her and Aaron…and…"

"Stop!"

Kate looked up at him after he snapped. Right away he shook his head and sat down beside her. His hand gently touching hers.

"Kate…you need to listen. None of that happened. It was all a dream."

"But…"

"You were thrown from the chopper. You told me you hit the water so hard you almost blacked out. You told me as you fell you heard Jack and Desmond screaming, mostly likely trying to jump after you before someone held them back. You didn't remember anything else…only floating under the water and finally washing up on shore."

"But the main camp…somebody must of…"

Richard shook his head.

"I found you myself, you were bleeding badly. I took you back and helped you. When you awoke you demanded to be taken back to your camp but nobody was there…only broken tents."

"We searched…I mean we looked?"

"Everywhere…and I know this island like the back of my hand. I've spent many years here if you forgot."

Kate felt herself shaking.

"You decided finally that there wasn't anywhere else to go so you joined us. Just last year we got married…and we've been together since."

Kate fought back tears, she wouldn't let herself cry…she wouldn't.

"But…Jack said if he blew the bomb up none of this would of happened. We would wake up in Los Angeles and the crash would of never happened…we threw it down where the hatch was going to be and…"

Richard shook his head.

"Kate, I've heard plenty of strange things…but that could of never happened. There wouldn't even be an island…"

"But…"

"Time travel? You can't be serious that you were really in 1977..."

"But I even saw you…"

Richard touched the side of her face.

"It's okay Kate, it was just a dream…

Kate lowered her head, looking at her hands.

"But…"

"I can take you to the old camps if you don't believe me…there's nothing."

Kate looked up.

"And…it's been three years?"

Richard nodded before taking her hand.

"It's okay…you just get this way sometimes…come on."

Standing with him, Kate looked around, tears starting to string her eyes. Had it really all been some awful dream? No…it couldn't have. She knew this.

But…what if this was what the bomb was supposed to do. Maybe this is where she was supposed to go.

Thinking of Sydney, her heart ached.

They never tried to find her. She thought. Almost as if Richard was reading her thoughts his arm slipped around her waist.

"Come on, let me show you…"

Being lead out into the sunlight seemed blinding, Kate took a few seconds to have her eyes adjust to the light. She saw at least thirteen other tents surrounding the beach. There were the Others, all walking about. Some with fishing poles, some sitting around small camp fires during this early morning.

Richard's grip tightened on Kate as he lead her down the beach. Her bare feet dug into the warm sand. A few people passing by waved and said hello to Richard and her. Finally they stopped and Richard motioned around the small camp.

"This is our home…well one of them."

"What year is it?"

"It's 2009..."

Kate stood beside Richard feeling lonely and scared. More people past by, even a woman with two other men and smiled.

"Morning Kate."

Kate seemed taken back as they past by still smiling. Everyone seemed so friendly, so welcoming. Had this really been her home this entire time?

"Come on…let me take you somewhere, it might jog your memory."

Taking Kate's hand they disappeared into the jungle. Following him, Kate walked slowly looking around. It seemed as though she spent a lifetime in this jungle. After about fifteen minutes Richard finally stopped and pointed.

The black rock, vines and overgrowth covering most of it.

"How I originally came here…also where we got married."

Kate looked at it with wonder.

"You…came from the black rock?"

Richard nodded leading her towards it.

"How old are you then?"

Richard looked at her and smirked.

"It's rude to ask a gentlemen is true age…anyways you all ready know that."

Kate looked at him puzzled before he lead her in an opening. The air seemed time times thicker and musky. They stood in it's coolness as Richard made her look around. She saw dried up and crumpling flowers everywhere.

"From our wedding…it was your idea to have it here."

Kate walked around, her eyes on the verge of tears as she looked.

"It's really true isn't it? I've been living with you guys this entire time?"

She turned watching Richard nod.

"But Richard…I swear everything I told you really happened. I know it! Maybe the bomb…"

"Kate…come on…"

He offered his hand and she slowly took it.

Walking back to the beach, Kate remembered the time Boone appeared to her in the jungle, telling her about making her own choice with Desmond. Walking with Richard, she felt scared. How on Earth did this happen? How could three years of her life we replaced with something she was being told was a complete dream? Was he lying? Did the bomb really make this happen? Or was it all true. Was everyone really gone and she had stayed.

Had she made this choice?

They reached the beach again, a warm breeze blowing through the air. Richard squeezed her hand tighter as they stared at the ocean. Finally he turned towards her and brushed a few pieces of her hair away from her eyes.

"You okay?"

Kate took a deep breath looking at his dark eyes.

"I don't know…I remember the past three years, but they weren't here."

"It will come back to you…don't worry."

He picked up her hand and kissed it.

"Am I really married to you?"

Richard laughed.

"I'm afraid so…come on let's get under some shade."

The two of them reached a smaller tent in which had a few chairs and tables. On one of the tables seemed to be a small model ship of the black rock and a glass bottle. Richard offered Kate something to eat but she shook her head. She felt horrible right now. Having her sit back in the very comfortable chair, he told her to just lay back and relax. Kate did so, while watching Richard with uneasy eyes.

Maybe she could run…go back to where she thought her friends were. Maybe the bomb had worked and everyone was in different places?

Richard, who was dressed in a navy blue button down shirt pulled a stool up to the table and put on a pair of glasses. Slowly he began to work on the boat while Kate watched.

We do this…every morning.

Kate thought as a memory started to slowly come back.

Yes, he works on these models while I sit back reading or having tea. We talk, but mostly listen to the morning wind. We do this every morning…

Looking at Richard, she felt suddenly very comfortable. Very at ease and relaxed. She knew she had done this before.

Watching him work, Kate's eyes studied him. Was this really her husband?

Looking at him, she had a completely different wave of emotions that she did with Jack, Sawyer…or most of all Desmond. Somehow this felt…right…

"Morning all."

Kate froze as the voice approached the tent, she knew that voice. Richard took his glasses off and looked up.

Locke stood in the opening, hands on his hips smiling.

"Isn't it a beautiful morning?"

Kate's eyes widened and she wanted to scream.

Locke then looked down and winked at Kate.


	15. This is your home

Kate felt speechless. Locke stood before them, the sun shinning down on him and a smile on his worn face. Kate didn't think her mind could take much more. Sitting there completely frozen her mouth opened but no words came out.

Richard took his glasses off and looked up at Locke.

"Hello John."

Both men's eyes drifted over to Kate who sat in the chair looking completely terrified. Richard gave an uneasy look before clearing his throat.

"Kate had a dream last night…a real bad one."

Locke folded his arms looking down at her.

"Is that so?"

Kate quickly shot up and went over to Locke. As much as she didn't trust him, she needed someone from their original camp to talk to.

"John…you're dead."

Locke gave a gentle laugh looking at her and then down at Richard.

"What?"

Kate tug on his arm.

"Come on, we need to talk."

Pulling him down the beach, Richard stood up slightly concerned and watched them from the opening of the tent.

A half an hour later Kate and Locke sat on the end of the beach looking at the ocean. Kate had finished telling him everything that had happened and how she swore that none of this was really real and most likely some effect from the bomb exploding.

"But Kate, if the bomb went off in 1977...then we wouldn't be sitting on the island right now in 2009."

"That's my point exactly, we should be in Los Angeles."

"No…but I mean if physically there wouldn't be an island…there would be nothing."

"And if there wasn't an island then the hatch wouldn't of existed…in which Desmond would of never been late in pressing the buttons which would of crashed our plane. We all would of landed in Los Angeles as if nothing happened."

Locke sat there for a moment and looked to be thinking, finally he looked at Kate.

"Kate…I'll tell you exactly what happened. We knew the freighter was coming but I didn't trust it. We all separated as you know but Widmore's men came and these people saved us, you remember that don't you?"

"I remember you leaving and telling Jack you needed to do something, that we shouldn't leave…that it was our destiny to stay…"

"And Jack left anyways, along with the rest of you."

"But Sawyer, he jumped from the chopper because we were leaking fuel and then the freighter blew up and we saw the island disappear…

"No, what happened was the freighter did indeed blow up, which knocked you out of the chopper and into the water. Lucky enough you somehow washed up alive on the island."

Kate shook her head.

"No…Desmond or Jack wouldn't leave me. Anyways their chopper crashed minutes later…they would of found me!"

"But they didn't. I had just joined up with my people and we found you barley alive. Richard took you and healed you."

"Wait? What do you mean your people?"

"I'm their leader Kate. Ben's gone."

"Gone, what do you mean gone?"

"He's been banished. I'm the leader of The Others now."

Kate's eyes widened before Locke smiled.

"We're nothing like Ben's group at all. We answer to a higher power and we're peaceful people. We just simply live and protect the island…been doing so for years."

"But the Dharma…"

Locke shook his head.

"Nothing like them. The remainders are now all of us. We go from place to place…as of right now this very beach is one of our homes."

"But the others! There were at least thirty people left on the beach. Sawyer, Juliet, Rose…"

"Gone."

"Gone! What do you mean gone?"

"Just like Claire, vanished without a trace."

"But they have to be somewhere! If rescue never came!"

Locke shook his head.

"Kate, we looked everywhere. Our old camp is like a ghost town. There's nobody and we looked everywhere."

"But the ones who survived. Jack…Desmond. They would of sent help…"

"And if they came we know nothing about it. If you ask me they didn't. Their gone."

Kate shook her head.

"No, they wouldn't of left me…"

"But they never came back to look."

"Maybe they didn't make it, maybe since things are different the chopper crashed and…"

"We have no way of knowing. All I know is that Richard saved your life and after two long years of searching for our friends, you finally knew they were truly gone and not coming back. That your place was on this island and that you belonged here."

"My place?"

"Kate, you're like me. You don't belong anywhere else."

"I do…"

"Kate you're wanted for murder."

Kate shook her head while holding back tears.

"No, I was set free…I raised Aaron and Sydney and I was happy and…"

"Sydney?"

"My daughter John. That's how I know it wasn't a dream. I remember everything. I remember that I was in labor for nearly eight hours. I remember that Aaron fell down the front steps and scraped his knee. I remember that Jack and I were engaged for a short time…I remember everything!"

"Kate…that bomb you're talking about. It's buried and still is. You could ask Richard to go see it but I don't think he would let you. Kate…you're remembering things now, slowly right?"

Kate stared at him.

"What?"

"Little things, memories. Things that give you déjà vu. Their slowly coming back as if hidden behind a fog. It even happened to me."

"But…the bomb, I know it was real…"

Locke shook his head before resting his hand on Kate's shoulder.

"This is our home Kate. We've finally found peace and you've finally found someone unlike Desmond, or Jack, or Sawyer. Someone who loves you…who understand you."

"Desmond loved me…so didn't the others."

Locke smiled.

"Kate, ever wonder why you kept going back and forth to each one? Because you had no idea what you were looking for."

"I loved Desmond."

"Yes, but he didn't love you after he found out Penny was still out there. You made peace with that and finally found someone who had been as much alone as you felt. You love Richard Kate, I know that."

Kate glanced down the beach and saw Richard talking with a few of the others. He wore gray slacks and a navy blue shirt. He seemed to be directing them about something. Kate sighed, her heart pounding before she remembered Sydney in her crib giggling.

"My baby…"

Kate's face crumpled up.

Locke's hand tightened on Kate's shoulder.

"It's okay…"

"I really lost it?"

"I'm afraid so."

Kate lowered her head, maybe…just maybe Locke was right. What if it all really had been a dream. Maybe everything Richard and him were saying was true. What if this really was her home?

Little things began coming back to her.

Somehow looking down the beach she knew everyone's names by just looking at them. She had never met any of these people before in her life, yet she knew all of them.

She knew that they moved around a lot. For the last few months this beach had been where they settled. She knew that they were planning on fixing up the Dharma village since there hadn't been sight of anyone else on the island in a while. That they were going to rebuild and start there since it seemed safe.

She knew that Locke had been their leader and a good one. She knew about a man named Jacob and that for the past three years Locke had been peacefully answering to this unseen presence from Richard. But sensed that soon Locke would finally break down the last wall and demand to finally see him.

She knew that they were living peaceful life's, happy ones.

She knew that she had searched everywhere for two straight years. Loosing weight, and feeling drained as day after day she searched the jungles. She knew that just last year it was nearly midnight and she was still looking around in the jungle, her torch shaking in her hands as her dried up voice helplessly called out for her friends.

Then she had tripped, fell hard on her knees and hurt them. She remembered lowering her head and crying.

She was alone. They had left her behind.

Then…

A hand was on her shoulder, a firm one. She looked over and saw Richard holding his own torch.

Since she had been living at the camp she distanced herself for almost everyone and spent most of her time searching. She knew very little about him…only that he had been on this island for a very long time. The thought of a man who didn't age at all terrified her, yet the feeling of her friends really leaving her scared her the most. Looking up, shaking and crying she felt like a little kid.

"Their gone. Their really gone."

Richard kneeled down beside her and wiped her tears away with his hands.

They gazed into each other's eyes when Kate fell into his arms crying. Burying her face in his shirt as he tried his hardest to comfort her and rub her back. By dawn, he had carried her exhausted body back to camp. When she woke on the beach that morning he was sitting right beside her.

She then knew somehow…she loved him.

She could only remember little things, mostly their relationship, How she stood close to him and slowly began to learn how life was really lead on this island. She didn't know much about him, only little things such as how he didn't age and had been on the island longer then anyone else.

She knew he was kind, that he was gentle and always listened to her. One night by the campfire she had told him everything about her life. From her childhood, to her stepfather, her marriage, and her life on the run. She finished up telling him about Desmond, and the two babies she had lost.

Somehow his eyes always seemed so serious. That night they had finally kissed.

Richard seemed embarrassed as Kate smiled, for once she was finding comfort.

"It's been a while since a person as touched me like that…a very long time."

Since then…Kate knew for sure he had loved her, and would do anything to protect her. Looking down at her ring, she tried her hardest to grasp her mind around the fact that they were really married and in love.

"This is your home Kate. Don't have the past eat you alive. You've been happy…I know this."

Kate looked at Locke before nodding. Getting up and dusting the sand off her, she stared down at him.

"But what if I was right. What if this really was all from the bomb."

"Then I guess we're all dead."

Kate looked at Locke for another moment before turning and walking back to camp.

On her brief walk there, Kate looked around at this beautiful place and wondered if it was heaven or hell? Thinking of Desmond, she wished that if the bomb had worked…it would of just killed them. She loved Desmond, but Locke's words were true.

He didn't love her, he loved Penny.

Thinking of their baby, Kate felt sick. Why did this happen? Was it just another dream? Shuffling along, she finally reached where Richard was. His back faced her.

Kate cleared her throat.

"Richard?

He turned, half suspired to see she even walked over.

"Kate?"

Right away she knew the names of the three people talking with him. Taylor, James, and Mark. They smiled before going back to what they were doing.

Kate shifted her feet, not really knowing what to say next.

"Richard, tell me the truth…I know you know a lot about this island. Did anything I say really happen?"

Richard's eyes focused on her before he shook his head.

"No Kate, it didn't."

"Do I get confused like this a lot?"

"Sometimes, but it's okay…you always come back."

His hand went out and easily slipped into hers. Kate then felt very overwhelmed. She was scared, confused, and alone. But somehow holding Richard's hand felt right. Going into his arms, she shuttered for a moment as he held her.

"Shhhh, it's okay."

"I have no idea what's going on."

"It's okay, I'm with you…Shhhh…"

Kate pulled back looking at the ocean.

"Is there anyway I can know if my friends are all right?"

Richard looked straight into Kate's eyes before his hand went up and rested on the side of her face.

"I'm sorry Kate, but no."

Kate's eyes began to water.

"When you found me on shore…did I loose the baby then or a little after."

Richard bit his bottom lip.

"Kate…"

"I need to know."

"I found you and you were bleeding. Like I said, it's for the best that it happened. You would of died anyways."

Kate thought of Desmond and shook. Slowly she lowered her head and rested it on Richard's shoulder and began crying. A few of the others watched from afar. Finally Richard put his arm tightly around Kate's waist and lead her back to their tent.

"You're tried, come on…"

Locke watched from down the beach, slowly shaking his head.

Inside the tent, Richard drew the opening close as he lead Kate over to the bed they shared. It was getter warmer now and the air began feeling sticky. Richard guided her over to the bed in which he helped lay her down. Kate couldn't control herself crying as Richard sat beside her and began brushing her hair away from her face. Softly he leaned down and began kissing the side of her face as she sniffled and stared up at him.

Was this really her husband.

She wanted to see Desmond more then anything right then.

"Just get some sleep, you'll feel better afterwards."

Kate laid in the comfort of a bed that she knew she had slept in millions of times. The feeling of being in your own bed finally settled around and she laid back trying her hardest to stop the tears. Richard sat beside her, petting her hair before staring to get up.

Kate's hand then went out and grabbed his hand.

Richard looked down.

"Stay…"

She said softly. Richard then moved over beside her and put his arms around her. Kate brought herself close and silently shut her eyes. Minutes later she was fast asleep, exhausted and scared. Richard meanwhile laid there in their tent watching her sleep. A worried expression on his face as he held her.

"How did she know about the bomb?"

Richard pushed these thoughts away before looking down at his wife and his heart seemed overwhelmed with love. Nobody really knew long how it truly had been since he had loved someone and they loved him in return. Laying there, Richard kissed the top of Kate's head and finally shut his eyes.


	16. Beating away the rain

Kate's eyes slowly fluttered open, staring at the ceiling of the tent. Suddenly everything seemed to come crashing down on her when she remembered where she was and what had happened. Feeling her heart jump into her throat she laid in the comfortable surroundings of the bed and tried to just breath. If she thought about this for another second she might go crazy.

"Hi there."

Kate's eyes drifted up and saw Richard sitting beside her in bed, a book on his lap. Kate gulped before slowly sitting up herself, her head felt dizzy. Blinking a few times she looked around at the inside of the tent and then back over to Richard.

"How long have I been asleep?"

"Few hours, it's almost sunset."

Kate nodded, her body ached and her head was spinning. All these memories were slowly crashing and covering up the ones she had made for the past three years. She knew if she didn't stop her brain might just swell up and finally explode. Richard marked his place in his book before putting it on the nightstand that had a lit lantern on it. He then looked over at Kate.

"Feel better?"

Kate sat in bed for a second before shrugging. She really didn't know. Sighing she rubbed her hands over her face. Richard then reached over and took one of her hands.

"Got a headache?"

"Umm."

Kate nodded. Richard reached over and gently touched the side of his face where her temple was. In just the matter of seconds the throbbing in her head slowly faded away. Thinking nothing of this, Kate shut her eyes and suddenly felt very relaxed.

Right away another memory came, so quickly it made Kate's eyes snap open.

"The ocean…"

"What's that?"

"The ocean…one night you took me out there when the moon was out."

Richard smiled.

"Our wedding night, I brought you over to the bluffs on the other side of the island and showed you how to jump."

"I was scared of the rocks, but you told me I'd be safe…"

"And you jumped, and we swam in the water all night."

Kate remembered this, diving underneath the black crystals of water and splashing up on the surface laughing with him. She remembered them holding each other, kissing as they slowly began going underneath the water again.

Kate then looked over at Richard. It was true…they were in love.

"Richard?"

"Yeah?"

"Why me?"

"What?"

"Why me? I understand you're a very special person…most of all here. So my question is…why out of everyone else you pick little screwed up me?"

"Because like I said, you know what it's like to be alone."

"Have you ever loved anyone before?"

"Since you? Not for a very, very, long time…but that's in the past. You accepted me and didn't fear me like so many others. You're special to Kate. You just don't know it yet."

Kate slowly began to remember their relationship more closely. She wished it would all just come back at once. From the look in Richard's eyes, he meant every word of it.

Richard then took her hand.

"Come on…"

They left the tent just as the sun was slowly setting over the water. The sky never looked so beautiful before. A warm breeze filled the air as Richard lead Kate over to one of the fires.

"Hi Richard, hi Kate!"

One of the women called, her eyes seemed friendly.

Richard smiled saying hello as Kate remembered this woman's name was Jane. She had gone fishing with her once. Richard lead her to one of the camp fires and sat her down. Right away everyone began passing plates of fish around. Kate seemed a little overwhelmed, but as she stared at the cracking flames, she felt almost as though this was where she was supposed to be. Richard sat close to her as everyone began to talk. Nothing serious really, just talk about the fishing, and how they thought their might be a storm later that night. Locke joined them a few minuets later and sat across the fire from Kate. Every once and a while their eyes would meet before Kate would drop her gaze.

Everyone seemed perfectly normal. They laughed, and sat around talking about such simple things. Kate saw four other fire pits in which large circles were sitting around them also laughing and talking. Kate couldn't believe how hungry she was, and how good the food had really been. While finishing up, Kate began talking to the man named Mark, and a woman named Mercedes. It seemed as though Kate picked up right wherever she had left them. They had known for and were friends. They talked mostly about how excited they were about moving back to the village, and how much better it would feel when storms like the one coming tonight would be. Kate talked, and seemed relaxed. Richard sat close to her and she had never seen a man look so handsome before. The campfire lit everyone's faces up as they all chatted and talked while eating the last of their meals. Locke was their leader, and Kate knew this. He talked with everyone, and finally for once looked as though he belonged.

At one point during the night Kate glanced over at Richard who smiled at her and then winked. Kate felt comforted before everyone heard distant thunder in the background and began cleaning up. Within a half an hour the fires had been put out and everything was stored away. Richard stood near the surf, hands on his hips and looking at the darkened sky as the clouds slowly began to cover up the sparking stars. The water was getting rough, and the wind was picking up, making the palm trees around them dance like crazy. Kate had walked over to him, the wind making her hair flew behind her shoulders. Going beside him, she looked out at the ocean.

"Looks like it's going to be bad out."

Richard kept staring out ahead.

"I've seen worse."

Kate then, for no reason at all slipped her arm around his. Richard glanced down for a moment and smiled as they stared up at the sky. Just then lighting flashed.

"Whoa!"

Richard laughed at Kate's reaction and then pointed.

"There will be another one…now!"

The lighting struck again, making the sky light up. Thunder began to sound as Kate smiled. She had so many questions to ask him. Yet, at this exact moment, her arms around his, watching the ocean…things just seemed right.

Her thoughts went back to Desmond.

Where was he? With Penny? She hoped he was safe. The same thoughts went to her friends as well. Even if it all head been a dream, as terrifying and nightmarish as it seemed…it was still wonderful. In her dream she had Aaron, and her daughter Sydney.

Now?

Now she was here, dream or no dream. She was married to a man she hardly knew, yet looking at his serious face at that moment, she knew he loved her and would do anything to protect her.

Just then it began to downpour. Kate laughed as Richard and her looked up at the sky, right away they were soaked.

"Better get under come over, come on!"

Kate grabbed onto Richard's hand as they ran up the beach, rain pouring everywhere. Locke meanwhile stood in the opening of his tent watching them. Lighting flashed across his eyes as he softly smiled.

By the time Richard and Kate reached their tent they were soaking wet. The rain was pouring harder then ever and the entire roof of the tent sounded as though it was being poured on with pebbles. Slightly laughing, Kate walked inside as Richard walked over to the lantern and lit it.

Kate stood there for a moment watching him before rubbing her arms. More memories were coming back, slowly and faded.

She stared at the unmade bed and then remembered something. Kate pointed.

"A white flower."

Richard turned, water dripping off him.

"What?"

Kate kept pointing at the bed.

"For the first two years…the entire time I spent looking for the others, you always left a white flower on my bed whenever I came back…every day."

Richard smiled.

"Yeah."

Kate then looked at him.

"I never knew who was doing it. At first I thought it was Locke trying to cheer me up, or someone in the camp…then right after that night you found me crying in the jungle I walked into my tent and saw you putting one down, you were embarrassed."

Richard made a nervous laugh before looking down at his feet for a second.

"Yeah…I was."

Another thought of Desmond jumped into her mind. Quickly this memory of the white flowers replaced it. Blinking, Kate looked at him before rubbing the back of her neck.

"I feel like I'm going crazy…"

Richard took a few steps closer, Kate noticed how his soaked shirt clung to him. His eyes locked with hers.

"You really believe the bomb caused you to come here, don't you?"

Kate sighed before nervously playing with her dripping wet hair.

"I don't know what to believe."

"Kate, if you want to search the island again, I'll be more then happy to. We'll do it together and I'll show you."

"No…if you say their gone, then their gone."

"I've never seen you like this before Kate, something else is on your mind."

Kate tried to control herself.

"It's just…I lived a life for three years. And at the exact moment the bomb blew I woke up here, living with you guys and married. I had a daughter Richard…and now I somehow cam getting these weird memories, real ones and I can't seem to understand it."

"Do you really believe your friends on the chopper made it?"

"I don't know what to believe…what I do know is if it really was all a dream…then they never tried to come back and get me. Maybe Locke was right, maybe this really is our place."

"But what do you think?"

"I think…that I'm starting to remember my three years here more clearly. I'm starting to remember that after everything with Jack, and Sawyer…and most of all Desmond…that you were the one that loved me."

"So now what?"

Kate took a deep breath, thinking back on the morning she had the miscarriage with Desmond's baby. Maybe it was true, maybe this was her life. Maybe everyone woke up someplace else…maybe on the island or someplace where they could find peace and be happy. Kate knew she would search the island again, in hopes for some answers. But until then she knew she was in love with Richard. That somehow during these blank three years she had adjusted to life here and became one of them. That this mysterious man had loved her despite how screwed up she was and accepted her.

"Richard I'm scared…"

"Shhhh, it's okay."

Richard gathered Kate into his arms before gently kissing her forehead. Kate finally looked up at him and studied his beautiful eyes. Somehow this felt different…not like with Desmond.

She began to unbutton his wet shirt. Richard watched her with a serious gaze as he lifted up her own shirt. The two began to passionately kiss as Kate's hands worked on his belt buckle.

She just wanted to forget. She just wanted Desmond to leave her head.

And so they kissed.

That night as the rain kept pouring, Kate laid awake beside Richard. Listening to the thunder, and watching the lighting light up outside, she for so reason at all felt very relaxed. Her thoughts had finally stopped racing and she no longer felt scared.

Tomorrow she would ask Richard to help her search the island in one last attempt to look. If the bomb did make this happen, then maybe the others were somewhere else.

Still, that didn't explain the last three years, or the memories.

But she would still look, and if she found one of them…

She didn't know.

But if it had indeed all been a dream, a long vivid dream…then it was now over. Three years ago she saw in Desmond's eyes as he made his choice. She had been thrown from the chopper and survived. She didn't know if the others had or not. But she had washed back on shore and Richard and found her…and saved her. She lost the baby, in which Richard had tried to convince her was for the best, and any last attachments to Desmond were forever gone. She prayed if this was all true, that him and the others had made it. That Desmond was somewhere living a happy life with his Penny. She hoped she was only a distant fading memory in his mind.

She hoped the same for Jack, Hurley, Sayid, and Sun.

And the ones left on the island?

She prayed they were safe and far away. Most of all Sawyer. Her heart ached that if it was indeed true, she hadn't ever gotten the chance to meet his daughter.

Had Locke and her become one of the others? Was this really their new home?

Her thoughts drifted to Claire. Wherever Claire was, she prayed she was safe as well. And Aaron? If he had lived, she hoped he was being taken care of. Maybe by Jack? Thinking of her friends, and the last moments as Sawyer and her ran before the blinding light came…

She looked over at Richard.

He was peacefully sleeping beside her. His chest slowly raising and falling.

Was this her husband? After all these screwed up years had she really found someone who could love her? She thought of Desmond one last time and the two miscarriages she had. Maybe Locke was right…maybe it was fate. Maybe all along she belonged here. Thinking of Richard, she knew so little about him. Only that for some strange reason he had lived on this island all this time, as though he was part of it. Half of Kate was scared of him, the other curious. Did he really never age? What kind of strange magic was working here? This island…it was either heaven or hell.

But at least she wasn't alone. Whatever had happened to her, at least it had given her someone to love her and not leave her. As unsure as she was about Richard, these memories of the past three years slowly began to drift back. He really did love her, and he was her husband.

Looking at her ring, she heard thunder sound again as the rain grew louder.

Trying her hardest to smile, she moved in closer to him and placed her head on his chest. Listening to his heartbeat she wondered how long it had been beating. Feeling comforted, she drifted off to sleep.


	17. Horrible news

One year later

"**Richard?"**

**Richard and Kate were sitting on the front porch of their home in the old Dharma village. Even though they only stayed there a few months out of the year, almost everyone was slowly rebuilding it and making it their own. With the sub no longer there, the threat of anyone ever coming was low. Still, everyone kept close watch. Most of the time they moved about the island like creatures of habit. Kate in fact enjoyed staying in the tents in the jungle or beaches, somehow living that way felt more real, and more free.**

**Today was a beautiful spring morning. Almost everyone were either relaxing or simply going about the morning in a very laid back and relaxed state. A group had gone out hunting with Locke, as a few of the others stayed around the grounds and simply sunbathed or walked around. The heat was slowly coming up today and the comforting breeze that was blowing by the trees would shortly end. One thing Kate loved about these people was how laid back and simple they were. The village was hardly used and most of them were inside the houses playing cards or sleeping in.**

**This morning Kate and Richard had gone out on the porch after a long night of passionate love making. As they dressed Richard joked that finally she of all people would finally be the one to kill him. Laughing, she threw her shirt at him before they took their coffee and sat out watching the peaceful morning come. Both were in old fashion wooden rocking chairs and looking out at the beautiful land. Richard remarked that perhaps later on the two of them would go to his favorite spot on the island and sit out on the hill taking in the view. At this moment, the two sat in silence side by side. Their coffee mugs at their feet as they slowly rocked back and forth, their hands held.**

**With Richard, things were different. She had never met a man like him and knew there wasn't another one around. Thinking of all her past failed relationships, going all the way back to her marriage with Kevin. She knew her biggest problem was that deep down inside she really just wanted to be taken care of. Someone to grow old with, someone to trust and to believe in her. She knew her life had been one big mess until now, and thought the closest she had came to finding this before Richard was with Desmond. But sadly he was in love with someone else.**

**Her marriage with Richard was special. In fact this past year she had finally been convinced that maybe everything she had thought was real…from them getting off the island, to Sydney, and then the bomb had really all been just a dream. Whatever had happened was now faded and drifting away. Her memories of her life here and with Richard had taken over. She had finally found happiness. **

**There was no more danger, no more horrible thoughts. Just peace.**

**She had searched the island like she had promised herself she would. In fact two whole weeks went by in which finally Kate came back to their camp empty handed. Looking at Locke she understood. They had been left alone.**

**After that she began to remember more and slowly began to fall back into place with her life here. **

**Richard was her husband and was completely crazy about her. He was still very mysterious and left Kate wondering half of the time…but as a husband he was wonderful. Never before in her entire life had she met someone who was so understanding and kind. Just being with him made her feel safe.**

**She felt as though she was falling in love for the second time all over again.**

**He was gentle, smart, and interesting. Just watching him made Kate enthralled. He was the second in command and liked it that way. Locke was their leader and seemed himself happy with the life he had finally been given. Kate now viewed him differently and saw him as one of her friends.**

**They all answered to Jacob, who was still unseen. Whenever Kate asked about him Richard simply smirked.**

"**Jacob has been here longer then me, he's in charge of everything…and watches over us."**

**As much as Kate didn't understand it, she watched everything fold out as though it was perfectly normal. Locke often spoke for Jacob, but Kate could see something behind his eyes. As if he was waiting for something. **

**They lived simple, yet happy life's on the island, and was never disturbed. Somehow they did what was best for them and the island. Experiments, and drama along the camp didn't seem important. It was just them, a close knit family who just lived their life's without asking questions.**

**Kate was interested, but decided for once not to question it. She was happy and didn't want that to change. **

**So life went on.**

**Kate and Richard were now in love, more in love then Kate ever thought she could be with Desmond. Somehow every second she looked at him her stomach would go into knots and butterflies would dance inside of her. She felt like a teenager again.**

**She was also given a sign of respect being Richard's wife, even though Richard and her acted like everyone else and wanted to be treated the same. **

**Kate now had friends, kind people who she lived with every day. **

**Being married and living on this island had finally given Kate something to go forward with. If this was reality, then the last three years had simply been a dream. She was now here and she was with Richard. Their marriage was a simple one. In fact Kate found it funny on how uneasy Richard acted, as if he hadn't really been used to being married nor with a woman in this kind of relationship. If he had…like he said, it had been long ago. Kate physically was the one who had the most energy when it came to sex. Now knowing Richard was her husband, she nearly almost every night was at him. Either when he was at his desk looking over maps or files, or simply drifting off to sleep, Kate would put her arms around him and begin kissing him down his chest. Most times Richard would simply just laugh or tell her that he either needed to get some work none or get some sleep. But as always this was ignored and before both knew it they were collapsed on either the bed or floor gasping for air. Richard was beyond suspired one night when Kate attempted oral while they two were sitting at his favorite spot over looking the island. **

**Slightly nervous and jumping, Richard looked at Kate trying not to laugh.**

"**Whoa…what are you…"**

"**Shut up Richard."**

**Kate said with a sly look on her face before pushing him down into the grass.**

**Kate found Richard very attractive, and enjoyed being his wife. The two acted like best friends and for the most part were always around each other. Richard now believed since she was his wife she had a right to know what was going on whenever Locke wanted to speak with him about moving the camps.**

**The only two things Kate was left in the dark in was Jacob, and Richard's past life.**

**Kate grew to slowly get used to her life with the others and love it. She had friends now, good friends and she seemed very welcomed. There wasn't anything to worry about anymore. **

**It was just her and Richard.**

**They always walked around the island together as Richard showed her around. The last time Kate visited the original camp, she kneeled down by her old tent before looking up at Richard who watched her. Getting up, Kate rested her head on Richard's shoulder and finally said it.**

"**I love you."**

**Since then, she hadn't been back to the camp, or anything that reminded her of the past. Kate remembered walking past their small makeshift cemetery and looking at the graves of her friends. It was true, it really was the present. Glancing at the part of surf in which she once stood in bleeding as Jack ran over to her, shivers went over her body. She held Richard's hand tighter as they walked away. **

**She wouldn't think of the past anymore. **

**Instead she just went wherever her people went. She didn't ask questions, she simply just lived and was happy that she was with people who cared for her.**

**He spoke Latin, and had began teaching her it. He also began showing her how to fire a gun the proper way. **

**Most nights Richard and her would simply lay out together and look at the stars. Richard knew all the stars names, and claimed it was something he learned from being out at sea.**

**Whenever they were around each other they playfully flirted or teased each other. Most of the time Richard would pick Kate up as she got giggling and put her over his shoulder until she begged him to put her down, her stomach hurting from laughing so hard.**

**Often Locke would watch the two walking around together, either at their camps or the village. Kate would always walk backwards in front of Richard, teasing him and making him smile. Next thing he knew the two would be cracking up while grabbing and trickling each other. **

**One of the others who was standing beside Locke smiled watching the two.**

"**He's crazy about her."**

"**Umm."**

"**Would hate to see how he would be if anything happened to her."**

**Locke glanced over, it was the same exact thing Jacob had said in the cabin just a week or so ago.**

**Now, she found herself a year later sitting next to her husband. Remembering a few months back, while the two were taking a bath together, Kate noticed a strange tattoo symbol on Richard's stomach and chest. Asking him what they meant, he simply told her they were old.**

**Now she had to ask the thing that had been bothering her.**

**He looked at her after she said his name. Thinking of a way to start, she held his hand tighter. **

"**Richard, you know I love you. It's been a hard year to adjust…but I finally know this is where I belong, and that you mean the world to me."**

**Richard softly smiled.**

"**And I love you."**

**Bringing their hands up, he kissed hers.**

**Kate smiled.**

"**Richard, you're a very confusing man…but a very kind one at that. You're my husband and I think as you're wife I deserve the right to know something."**

**Richard eyes fixed on her.**

"**About what?"**

"**You're age…why don't you age?"**

**Richard looked at her, it had been a subject that had much been avoided. Richard look a deep breath.**

"**I told you. Jacob made me this way."**

"**Yes, but why?"**

"**Kate, I would tell you everything…but I can't. Not even Locke knows. Whatever happened, his between Jacob and me."**

"**You said you came from the Black Rock?"**

**Richard nodded before Kate squeezed his hand.**

"**Richard, just answer me this…before…it happened, how old were you?"**

**Richard looked at her.**

"**I was thirty-nine years old."**

**Kate nodded. **

"**Richard, I don't know if you've thought of this yet…but it's worried me. For whatever reason you don't age…you've must of seen a lot of people come and go in you're time."**

"**That's right."**

"**Then, you must realize that as I get older, you're just going to stay thirty-nine. Has this happened before? You find someone you love and they simply just die of old age as you stand back and watch?"**

**Richard gazed at her, his face now looked troubled as Kate went on.**

"**Richard, if you can't age…then you can't die right?"**

"**Kate…"**

"**No, then…I'll just keep getting older while you stay the same…have you thought of this?"**

"**Every day since I've laid eyes on you."**

**Kate didn't say anything.**

"**Kate…that is something I'm trying to take care of with Jacob…just give it time."**

"**But Richard, I don't wanna live forever, you know that don't you?"**

**Richard looked at her before nodding. **

"**I do…but like I said just give me time. I'll figure something out."**

"**Are you willing to do this, for me?"**

**Richard looked at her.**

"**More then you know."**

"**Richard, there's another thing…something that's been on my mind."**

"**Yeah?"**

**Kate bit down on her bottom lip and sighed. She still didn't have an answer for the first question that concerned her the most. Finally she took a deep breath and went on.**

"**Children."**

**Richard blinked.**

"**What?"**

"**Children. I don't necessarily want them. After…well my two miscarriages on the island, and…well those memories of me having my daughter has really changed my outlook. I understand the problems women have here with being pregnant. Juliet told me. I know women die when their pregnant and so doesn't the baby if it's conceived here. I guess I wanted to ask you if you've ever had any if you're lifetime?"**

**Richard looked at her.**

"**Once."**

"**You did?"**

"**Right before I left on the Black Rock. I had a wife back then, a very beautiful one who was very young. Too young maybe, she died in childbirth and so didn't my son. I buried them with my own hands before going on that voyage. I've never spoken about this to anyone until now."**

**Kate felt her heart swell, she loved Richard even more and hated to see that pain behind his eyes. How could he stand living with himself after all these long lonely years.**

"**Richard, I'm happy here…and I'll do anything you want. If you do decide if you want children, then maybe there's a way we could leave the island for a brief period of time and…"**

"**Kate…"**

**Kate stopped as Richard looked at her, almost as if his eyes were in pain.**

"**Kate, you're my everything…I'm never going to risk loosing you…no matter what."**

**Just then Locke walked over eating an apple. **

"**Richard?"**

**Both looked over, caught off guard as Locke stopped looking up at them from the lawn.**

"**Sorry I hope I wasn't…"**

**Richard quickly stood, Kate could tell he was uncomfortable. **

"**You weren't…what is it?"**

"**I need to speak with you. Have a second?"**

**Richard quickly glanced down at Kate before nodding.**

"**Of course I do…"**

**Leaving her, Kate watched the two men walk away. Sighing, Kate hiked her knees up to her chest and took a deep breath. Of course she finally fell in love with a man who didn't age, and was deadly afraid of loosing her. **

**Thinking of Sydney, she sighed.**

**That night Kate sat up in bed with a sketchpad. She slowly wrote these numbers over and over again.**

**4 8 15 18 23 42**

**Kate sat back, sighing as the fan above her slowly circled. The windows were open and the curtains were slowly being blown back and forth. Crickets were chirping in the background.**

**Just then Richard came in, looking half suspire she was still awake. **

"**Hi…"**

**Kate looked up before folding the sketchpad. **

"**Hey…"**

**Richard went over to the dresser before unbuttoning his shirt, Kate could clearly see his hands were shaking. Never before had Kate seen him like this.**

"**Richard?"**

**Richard turned as he took his shirt off.**

"**Are you okay?"**

"**Of course."**

**Richard forced a smile before Kate sat up more, looking straight over at him.**

"**Everything okay?"**

"**With what?"**

"**Locke, did he say something?"**

"**Oh, no…just talking about the loose polar bear still on the jungle. He wants to send a hunting party."**

"**That's it?"**

**Richard nodded as Kate's eyes went over to those two old tattoos on her husband's chest and stomach. **

"**I hope I didn't upset you earlier, asking those questions…it's just, I love you Richard and I need to know."**

**Richard then turned towards her before quickly going over, Kate nearly screamed as he reached down and strongly took her by her shoulders and lifted her up to eye-level with him.**

"**Don't ever talk about getting pregnant on this island Kate, do you hear me?"**

"**Richard you're hurting me…"**

**But Richard's grip tightened, his face just inches from hers.**

"**There's no way we can leave the island, so don't you ever think of that again. Understand!"**

"**Richard…"**

**Kate suddenly felt scared, and saw Richard's eyes was scared as well. His face got very close to hers. **

"**I've searched too long to finally find you…I'm not going to have something take you away from me…"**

**His voice was slowly breaking up. Kate gulped before tears began to come in her eyes.**

"**Richard! Let go!"**

**But Richard wouldn't. Finally Kate cried the thing she had been trying her hardest to keep secret for the last two weeks. Something she wasn't positive of, and too scared to bring up to Richard. She had no idea how he would react, most of all like this.**

"**I'm pregnant Richard!" **

**Richard froze, right away his hands letting go of Kate as she nearly fell backwards onto the bed. Kate's eyes welled up with tears as she stared up at his stunned face.**

"**You're…what?"**

"**I'm not sure! I was waiting to tell you since I was scared…I know what happens to pregnant women here and I was terrified I might loose it early. I didn't want to scare you! I'm sorry!"**

"**You're…"**

**Richard was speechless, all the color out of his richly tanned face was now gone. Kate looked up at him, fighting back tears. Up until then their life's had been perfect. They had been so much in love without even a care of the world. Kate was forgetting, and looking forward to their future together.**

**Just last month Kate remembered the two of them making love in one of their tents that faced the beach. How she laid on top of him smiling down and thinking strangely how handsome he was. In fact every single part of him was. She remembered him kissing her, and how strongly he held onto her.**

**Then…she was late.**

**Kate thought nothing of it. In fact as odd as it sounded she didn't think that could happen with someone like Richard. **

**But she had noticed how careful Richard had been for the past year. There was a whole week each month in which he clearly put his foot down about not making love. This drove Kate crazy even though she never put two and two together. He always made excuses that he had business to do with Locke and spent most of those nights out of their house or tent. Somehow as stupid as it was, Kate never thought anything of it. **

**Now she knew. He was making sure this wouldn't happen.**

**But of course it did, it was just a matter of time.**

**Kate remembered the time she told Desmond in the jungle nearly four years ago. How excited his eyes got and how he kneeled down in front of her and nuzzled his head against her perfectly flat stomach. **

**Now this was different, beyond different. **

**Richard stood back, his eyes angry.**

"**How…did this happen?"**

"**I think for a man your age Richard you would know by now."**

**Richard glared at her before putting his hand to the side of his face were stubble was growing in. Slowly he paced back and forth.**

"**I'll talk with Jacob, see if you could leave the island…yeah I'll do that…'**

**He was muttering to himself, not making any sense. Kate felt sick.**

"**Richard! Please look at me!"**

**Richard looked at her, scared out of his mind.**

"**There has to be some way I can leave…maybe with you. Once we're off the island maybe nothing will happen. We could come back and…"**

**Richard looked as if he was about to faint, quickly he sat down beside her, she saw his hands were shaking badly. **

**Kate looked at him, unsure of what to say next.**

"**Richard?"**

**Richard looked at her, upset and outraged.**

"**If Jacob won't let us off the island, you're taking care of this."**

"**What are you talking about?"**

**Richard looked at her.**

"**You know what."**

"**Jesus Richard, you want me to abort it?"**

"**I'll do it myself, I'm not having anything happen to you."**

"**Richard!"**

"**You know what will happen! It will kill you!"**

"**Richard stop!"**

**Richard quickly got up before Kate could say another word, grabbing his shirt he left her alone for the first time. Sitting on the bed, Kate burst into tears and covered her face. More then anything now she wished Desmond was here.**

**Storming outside, Richard saw Locke leaning against one of the trees eating another apple. As unsure as he had been with Locke being their leader, he was suspired on what a good job he had been doing. Much better then Ben. Locke was natural at it and very approachable. Also whenever Richard took him out to the cabin, Locke would sometimes spend hours in there before coming out. Richard knew Locke clearly hadn't seen Jacob yet, but had heard him. Within time those two would finally meet.**

**Everyone was all ready in their cabins, sleeping. Crickets filled the night air and stars sparkled in the sky. Walking over to Locke, he knew his face clearly showed he was beyond upset.**

"**Something bothering you Richard? I heard yelling."**

**Richard's hand were slightly shaking, he tried to control himself but he was clearly nervous and scared.**

"**Locke, I need you to take me to Jacob."**

"**Can't you go yourself."**

"**I haven't gone to see him myself in a very long time, I need you."**

"**For what? Has something happened?"**

**Richard just stared at Locke before taking a deep breath.**

"**I need to speak with him, something very important."**

**Locke studied him before nodding.**

"**It's about Kate isn't it."**

**Richard nodded.**

"**Tell me something Richard, was it really all just a dream? Did the bomb never go off?"**

"**Locke I don't have time to talk about this…"**

"**Then why don't you tell me why we're going to visit Jacob in the middle of the night."**

"**Kate…she's…"**

**He struggled with the words, for the first time in his very long life scared.**

"**She's pregnant."**

**Locke just looked at him.**

"**She's what?"**

"**Pregnant…I don't know how it happened, I've been so careful…"**

"**Careful or not Richard, with there not being any birth control on the island you knew this would soon or a later happen…I mean you're man and wife."**

**Richard shook his head.**

"**I just need to talk with him."**

"**You're scared…because pregnant women on the island die, don't they?"**

"**They do."**

"**And why is that Richard? I'm sure in the past…even during your early years here there were pregnant women. That would maybe explain how half of our people are here in the first place."**

"**Ben…when Ben killed everyone in Dharma village in the early 90's…the purge."**

"**The what?"**

"**Ben released a toxic gas that spread through the island in just a matter of minutes. It killed everyone who wasn't wearing protective gas masks, which were our people and Ben himself. He did this to show us that he was no longer part of them. That they were the ones who came to our island and raped it for all it was worth. He took care of our problem and proved himself…becoming our leader."**

"**And this was something Jacob wanted."**

"**What do you think?"**

**Locke nodded.**

"**So…since then the pregnancy problems started?"**

"**Any woman who conceived on the island who die somewhere in their second trimester. It's happened to plenty of us, most of our women."**

"**And the babies?"**

"**They die as well. Ben was more then concerned with this problem and that's when he became to rebuild the Dharma village. Converting scientist and trying to research on why it and happening and how it could get fixed."**

"**And you didn't approve?"**

"**I could see his point. He was scared we would die off. Besides the people we brought to the island, we're all originals. Jacob and I didn't think that it was important…that he was putting his own fears before the island."**

"**But Claire and Sun…"**

"**Claire conceived off the island. That's why Ben's people took her to study her and the baby."**

"**Ben's people…you didn't have any part in this?"**

"**I did, but I knew it wasn't right. As for Sun, she left the island before giving birth. That's one of the many reasons Ben wanted me to get Juliet on the island…so she could try to fix it."**

"**And Jacob had no say?"**

"**He did, but he said there were different reasons why he wanted her on the island. I just took orders."**

"**So the reproductive capability on this island is fatal?"**

**Richard shook his head**

"**Not the reproductive part…that's…how can I say it? Enhanced, males on the island multiply their sperm count five times the normal way. That's why we were having so many deaths."**

"**And you act surprised that you got Kate pregnant?"**

"**John…I was careful. I never know I of all people could do it. I mean look at me!"**

"**You're still a man Richard, aging or not."**

**Richard's eyes fixed on Locke's.**

"**I just need to speak with him."**

"**Richard, these are a lot of facts…but Kate has all ready suffered a miscarriage, two in fact and both times she concaved on the island. "**

"**Right, but the second time she lost the baby due to trauma. Please Locke, I'm scared."**

**Locke blinked, he never heard Richard say this before. **

"**I'm terrified something is going to happen to my wife, please."**

**Sighing, Locke nodded before walking over to the torch bin and grabbing one. Lighting it, he looked at Richard's face.**

"**What exactly are you going to ask him? You don't think Jacob can fix this can you?"**

"**He can do something, let's go."**

**Together the two left the village and went into the jungle. **

**When Richard returned, nearly one in the morning. Kate sat up in the darkness of the bedroom still awake. She couldn't sleep. Whenever she shut her eyes horrible dreams came. He slowly opened the door and looked at her.**

**He had been crying.**

**Kate had never seen him cry before. **

"**Richard?"**

**Richard silently shut the door before coming over. He sat down on the edge of the bed as moonlight drifted in from the window.**

"**He won't let you leave."**

"**What?"**

"**He won't…I tried everything but he told me nobody can ever leave the island again. If they do they can never come back."**

"**Then we'll go…just the two of us. We don't need this island!"**

"**You don't."**

"**What?"**

"**Kate…I can leave the island, but not for long. Let's just say this place is the reason why I keep living and looking the way I do. Within time…everything catches up with me. At least that's what Jacob said. In fact…the times I have left, I feel sick…horrible in fact. But the second I set foot back here I feel better."**

"**I'm not leaving without you Richard."**

"**No…I tried telling him that you would go, even if I couldn't…and he said no. Nobody leaves anymore…he wants you to stay."**

"**Did you explain…"**

**Richard nodded.**

"**He didn't seem to care. He told me this pregnancy happened for a reason between us and that we have nothing to worry about. That you need to have this baby…"**

"**What?"**

**Richard looked at her helpless.**

"**I tried to tell him, but he said the island wouldn't do anything to you or the baby."**

"**Well can I at least try to talk with him…"**

**Richard shook his head.**

"**The only people who can see him is me and whoever is the leader."**

"**Then we'll try to explain this to Locke, he's our friend…he can help us…"**

**Richard shook his head.**

"**I all ready did. He came with me in fact…he tried to talk to Jacob but he won't listen anymore. Once he has something in his mind that's it."**

**Richard then opened his shirt to show Kate three long horrible slash marks across his chest. **

**Kate gasped before going closer to him.**

"**Oh Jesus! Who did this to you?!"**

**Richard tried to take deep breaths, he was sweating and the scratches looked bloody and raggered. The blood was getting sticky and clothing against his chest. Kate right away jumped up and flipped on the overhead light. Richard was clearly in pain and trying to take shallow breaths. Kate right away went open, ripping the rest of his shirt open and letting it fall off his shoulders. Richard looked up at her.**

"**We went to the cabin…I tried everything, and then I got angry I started screaming…that's when everything began flying around and these happened. Locke pushed me out of there and stayed in for another minuite before leaving. He told me I had a choice to make."**

"**What?"**

**Tears were now in Kate's eyes as she looked him over.**

"**Either Jacob could make you like me…and nothing would happen."**

**Kate looked at Richard shocked. As much as she loved him, she never thought she would live forever. Never age, and watch all the people she cared for and loved die. Still…Richard would be that way. Which would mean it would just be the two of them. Forever on this island. But the thought of being here for eternity seemed horrible. As much as her beliefs were mixed, if there was such thing as life after death…would she give it up? The thought of being like Richard terrified her. **

**Kate looked stunned as Richard went on.**

"**I asked if I could be turned back…that's what I was talking about earlier. I knew you would age…get older and then one day die leaving me alone. I was thinking of asking Jacob since I finally found someone…and that I've been this way for so long that he could turn me back. That we could die together…like normal people."**

"**No Richard…"**

"**That's what I wanted, but when I asked he told me simply no. That I needed to stay this way."**

"**What is this some sort of punishment?"**

"**Worse…but he told me he could make you like me, then we wouldn't have to worry."**

"**So you can't die Richard? Is that it?"**

"**No…I can die…at least that's what Jacob told me before, but I'm not sure…**

"**Then why even change me if I can too?"**

"**The risk wouldn't be as great, you would be protected. Jacob promised me if that's what we wanted."**

"**Did you ask if the baby would be that way?"**

**Richard shook his head.**

"**All I care about is you Kate, I was trying to figure something out."**

"**So he won't let me leave the island, and he told you I need to have this baby…that nothing will happen to me if I do. And if you're scared of loosing me…not only because of this, but in death he offered to make me like you?"**

"**Please Kate, I begged, I feel on my knees and begged. I know something horrible will happen if you have this baby, it will kill you."**

**Kate shook her head.**

"**What did Locke say?"**

"**He tried to stick up for me. I brought him to the cabin and he asked, that's when Jacob started answering me and that's when I got cut. When Locke came out later he told me that I really didn't have a choice in the matter. I could either put my trust in Jacob's hands and believe you'll be all right…or I could go against him. He told me you wouldn't be able to leave the island…that I got to have faith that you were going to be okay. Locke then told me that Richard said if I was so scared of really loosing you…then he could make you just like me. I know that's not what you want Kate, but it's what he said."**

"**So he won't help us?"**

**Richard shook his head.**

"**He also said if I try to abort the baby…you'll die."**

**Kate's eyes widened.**

"**What?"**

"**He told me this was supposed to happen. That everything was going to be all right if we believed it."**

"**What kind of person is that Jacob anyways. You tell me he's the reason why everything happens. You told me he rules and takes care of the island, telling Locke and yourself what to do…but have you ever questioned him?"**

"**Every day Kate…every day."**

"**Why did he make you this way Richard? Why?"**

"**Kate…"**

"**Enough with the secrets! I can't take this anymore!"**

**Richard looked at her, his blood dripping down his chest.**

"**Kate…I haven't gotten hurt like this in years…this is the first time in awhile that it hurts like this. I think Jacob is serious. I really do think he wants to test us."**

**Kate shook her head, she felt as though she was going crazy.**

"**What if everything is going to be okay? What if I have the baby and nothing happens…what if Jacob was right?"**

**Richard looked up at her.**

"**I don't wanna loose you."**

"**But if nothing happens. Maybe Jacob is right, maybe this is finally the island's chance to start over."**

"**Now of all times? An why risk you? Why not anyone else?"**

"**Because you're special Richard. I think he knows that."**

"**You're sounding just as crazy as Locke now…"**

"**Richard, I've seen some unexplainable things happen here…counting yourself. The only thing I'm sure of is that Jacob is telling the truth. We can't leave the island, and if you try to kill the baby I'll die."**

"**How can you know that?"**

"**Because even though I've never seen Jacob, from the look in your eyes he's very real. And you're scared."**

"**But…"**

"**Richard, maybe it's going to be all right. Maybe I'll be fine and so won't the baby. I really don't see why Jacob would lie to you."**

"**You don't know him Kate, and neither does Locke. Jacob does things like this."**

"**But why to you?"**

"**Because he knows how much I love you…and the only way to be certain that you'll be okay is to have him make you like me."**

**Richard's eyes were pleading, but Kate shook her head.**

"**I love you Richard, but I couldn't…"**

"**But, we'll be together…"**

"**And never age? Spend forever on this island? Richard I'm sure you've wanted to die plenty of times. This isn't a gift…it's a curse! Why did you even ask Jacob in the first place to turn you back…to make you normal?"**

"**Kate…"**

"**Because you know everyone dies…and you no longer wanted to be alone."**

"**But we'll be together…"**

"**And the baby? Richard as much as you hate this…it's our baby."**

"**No, it's something that will kill you."**

"**Stop talking that way. Maybe Jacob was right, maybe it did happen for a reason."**

"**Stop saying that!"**

**Richard snapped. Kate stood back, hands on her hips.**

"**All I know is that we're alone in this. And if there's a chance nothing will happen, then I'm going to take it. There's no other way."**

"**But you'll die…"**

"**You don't know that Richard. It's our only choice and I don't…and I really mean this…I don't ever want to be changed like you. I love you Richard and I would spent eternity with you…but not like this."**

**Silent tears fell down Richard's face as he stared up at her. Kate then shook his hand and lead him into the living room. Sitting him on the couch she grabbed a bowl of water and a rag before coming back and sitting down beside him. Gently dipping the rag in the water, she slowly cleaned Richard's scratches. Richard hissed at first from the pain as sweat rolled down his face. Slowly he began to relax and sat back as Kate finished. **

"**I want to see Jacob."**

**Richard looked at her.**

"**What?"**

"**Jacob, I want to see him."**

"**I told you Kate, you can't…"**

"**I know you're lying…and I want to at least speak with him. If you love me you'll do this."**

"**Not even Locke has seen him in person."**

"**Then we'll have to just keep this a secret."**

"**He won't change his mind Kate."**

"**Well, I have a few questions for him. And I want them answered."**

**Richard then looked down at his chest, the bleeding had stopped and Kate sat beside him on the couch. Then, Richard grabbed her hand, yanking her to stand up.**

"**Richard…"**

**He pulled her towards the front door.**

"**I want to make sure first."**

"**But Richard wait…"**

**But Richard pulled her out the front door and into the darkness of the night. Nearly stumbling down the stairs behind him, Kate begged Richard to stop this. His fingers dug into her arm as he lead her onto to one of the stations around the village. One was an old medical bay that hadn't been used in years. **

"**Richard please stop!"**

**But he wasn't listening, instead he walked towards it yanking Kate behind him like a child. Finally they went inside. **

"**Richard let go!"**

**Richard made her sit down hard on a dusty stool while he violently began yanking open metal draws. From the noise he was making Kate wondered why anyone hadn't been woken up yet and check outside. Instead she sat there in the darkness before the dusty room was faintly lit. Richard threw down an old fashion silver zip lighter and lit one of the lanterns. The light that was given off was faint and creepy. **

**Kate didn't know what to do next. Instead she sat there until Richard came storming over with a few things in his hands. He slammed them down on the table beside him making her jump.**

"**Richard what are you doing?"**

**Instead of answering, he handed her what looked to be a small box. Kate took a second to have her eyes adjust to the wording on the box.**

**Pregnancy Test.**

**Kate's eyes drifted up, slightly confused.**

"**Richard what is this?"**

"**It's a pregnancy test…there's plenty of them from Juliet's research. Take it."**

"**But Richard I told you I'm almost positive…"**

"**Positive isn't enough for me, now go take it."**

**Kate saw how scared he was, his hands were still shaking and his eyes seemed completely outraged. Thinking back at the two weeks in which Kate kept this overwhelming news all to herself. She was usually regular, but remembering the two other times with Desmond she knew right away once she was late. She had felt a little funny the other day waking up, but she still thought it was far too early for morning sickness. She knew the risks of being pregnant on the island, and how there wasn't any younger Others because of it. She knew Juliet's research and how they could never figure out what was causing this. Thinking back at her two miscarries, one in which she couldn't even remember…Kate decided to wait. She wanted to hear Richard's thoughts on this. If he wanted children or not. She was still so amazed by how wonderful he was and the fact he didn't age puzzled her. She decided she would slowly bring it up and see how Richard would react. After that…she hoped they could figure it out.**

"**Richard…"**

"**Take it Kate, do it now."**

**She saw his voice was raising and breaking up. Taking a deep breath Kate nodded before getting up and going across the room towards the bathrooms. She remembered she was the same room she gave blood for little Ben after he had been shot.**

**Richard meanwhile nervously waited, pacing back and forth in the flickering light. Minutes later Kate came back with the small plastic stick in which Richard grabbed from her hands before she could even walk fully out the door.**

"**It takes a few minutes…"**

**Richard rushed over to the lantern and held the plastic stick up to the light waiting. Kate meanwhile crossed her arms trying her hardest not to cry. Walking over she placed one of her hands on Richard's back.**

"**Richard please…"**

**Richard then dropped the test. Kate could see over his shoulder what it said.**

**Positive. **

**Richard stood up, not facing her. Kate shifted from one foot to the other before touching him again.**

"**Richard?"**

**Richard turned, he looked stunned. **

**Kate then put her arms around him, looking him straight in the eye.**

"**Take me to Jacob."'**

**Richard looked at Kate, for once completely helpless before he gently took her hand and the two left the medical bay. Taking a torch, the two started out towards the beach.**

"**Might take a few hours, you okay to walk?"**

**Kate nodded before Richard looked down and saw the bruises on her arm from him grabbing her. He looked ashamed.**

"**I'm so sorry Kate."**

**Kate reached up touching the side of his face.**

"**It's okay…you're just scared."**

**Richard nodded before leading her off into the darkness. They walked for a good hour, first starting off in the jungle before reaching the beach. Waves kept crashing in, making everything seem much more peaceful. Richard and Kate walked hand and hand letting the light of their torch lead them. Walking along the sand, Kate finally looked up at him.**

"**Do you believe Jacob?"**

**Richard looked at her.**

"**What?"**

"**Him saying I'll be okay. Do you believe it?"**

"**I don't know what to believe Kate…"**

**Nodding she decided that was the last of the questions she would ask. It had been a horrible night and she just wanted it to end. She had seen a different side of Richard, a side that showed how much he truly loved her and wanted to protect her. She wanted so badly to know who this Jacob was…and why he had done whatever he did to Richard. She wanted to know so many things…**

**Instead she just kept walking with him. Knowing once she finally met Jacob, she might get some answers.**

**Walking with him, Kate looked out at the ocean and wondered where her friends were. Most of all Desmond. She wished that all this madness would finally stop. That for once she could just find peace and happiness. Looking at Richard she sighed.**

**Shortly before dawn they stopped. **

"**What is it?"**

**Richard pointed to a crumbling foot of a giant stature. It faced the water and gave Kate a very uneasy feeling just looking at it. **

**Richard pointed, lowering the torch.**

"**This is where Jacob lives."**

"**I thought he lived in that cabin you and Locke always go to."**

"**That's where Jacob's voice can be heard…this is where he lives."**

"**And nobody besides you have been here?"**

**Richard nodded.**

"**Come on, stay behind me."**

**Kate followed, feeling for the first time since early on last year completely terrified. She hated herself for getting pregnant. Somehow during her many years of hard luck a mistake didn't happen once. Now on this island three times? She hated herself at that exact moment and just wished her and Richard could be left alone. She didn't believe Jacob when he said they wouldn't be allowed to hurt the baby.**

**Holding her hand tighter, Richard lead her up some uneven rocks before stopping at the statue's wall. Leaning against it, Richard had Kate hold the torch before pressing in.**

**The stone moved, revealing a door. Kate sucked in a breath as Richard held her hand again and lead her in. **


	18. Heaven or Hell?

"Jacob?"

Kate stood close to Richard, her hand squeezing his. Never before in her entire life had she felt so terrified. They were what seemed to be a large room. A huge stone skylight looked up at the stars and a stone fireplace sat in the middle. The flames crackled and popped in the air. Kate smelled the faint scent of perfumes and oils. Her eyes briefly scanning the wall she saw beautiful handmade work.

Then a man appeared, a man who Kate for no reason at all felt as though she knew. He seemed middle aged, and perfectly normal. He was dressed plain and walked over with a kind smile on his face.

"Hello Richard."

"I believe you know my wife Kate?"

Jacob looked over at Kate as she stood closer to Richard, like a child hiding behind it's parent. Jacob smiled.

"Nothing to be worried of Kate, I won't bite."

Richard then cleared his throat.

"Kate has some questions to ask you."

"Is that so?"

Kate then stood forward, letting go of Richard's hand.

"First question is why did you do that to him?"

Kate motioned towards Richard's cut chest. Richard right away seemed nervous.

"Kate…"

Jacob waved his hand.

"No, it's okay Richard. She has the right to know. That my dear was an accident. In fact I'm kind of shocked he even bled, isn't that right Richard?"

Richard said nothing before Kate looked straight into Jacob's eyes.

"I have a lot of questions…but right now I none of them seem to matter. What does matter is my husband and John Locke came to visit you earlier tonight and you turned them away."

"Kate, I didn't turn them away. I have them the only answer I was willing to give."

"That's bullshit! Whatever or whoever you are I know you have a lot of control! You've fed Locke's head full of all these stuff about fate and destiny and how the island contorts it. Well you wanna know something Jacob? I think that's a lie! I think you control it…doing whatever sick game you play. Have you had any how much death and suffering has happened since the plane crashed?"

Jacob said nothing at first, almost looking amused.

"Kate…you were brought to this island for a reason, and I've all ready told your husband…that no harm will come to you during your pregnancy."

"But what of all the others? I know for a fact women die on this island if their pregnant."

"That's over Kate. You'll be the first…maybe the only one. You're special…and so isn't Richard."

Kate glanced over at Richard who just stared at Jacob, holding his torch. The flame danced and flickered.

"So you're telling us nothing is going to happen? I won't die carrying the baby?"

"No harm will come to you during the pregnancy."

"But why us?"

"I told you Kate. You're special."

Just then Richard's torch and the fireplace flickered out, leaving them in complete darkness. Kate cried out before Richard quickly took her hand. Right away their eyes looked around, the skylight wasn't letting in much light.

"Richard?"

Kate said alarmed.

"Shhhh, it's okay."

"Jacob?"

Kate called out. But she knew there wouldn't be an answer. Waiting, the two of them looked around in the room and saw nothing. He was gone.

By the time the two of them came out it was dawn. The sky was a beautiful pinkish gold color and as the wind hit them Kate stood on the rocks taking in the beautiful view. This wasn't hell…it was heaven. Standing there, still shaken, Richard stood beside her and put his arms around her waist. The two stood watching the sunrise before Kate tilted back her head and looked up at her husband.

"Do you believe him?"

Richard was silent for a moment before nodding.

"What choice do we have?"

"I believe him."

Richard looked down.

"You do?"

Kate nodded.

"I think we have to have this baby, I think he's right. I think it's special."

"You mean you're not scared?"

"I wanted to ask so many questions Richard…but I know for a fact he was telling the truth."

"So what now?"

"Whatever happens, happens. We'll be together."

"But I can't loose you Kate…I can't."

"You won't, I promise."

Turning her head up, Kate gently kissed Richard before the two started back for camp. It was nearly the afternoon by the time they reached it and Locke was closely watching them.

"I think we should keep this to ourselves…give it time before word gets out. Might strike up some alarm."

Richard nodded.

"Kate, trust me…I have plenty of time."

Laughing, Kate for once felt better. Leading him to their tiny little house everyone was busy walking around and going about their own way. Locke watched them until they both disappeared inside. Once in, Kate and Richard went to the bedroom. Both undressed each other and went into their big comfy bed. Kate had to admit…it did beat their tents.

Laying there, enjoying the feel of being in each other's arms, Kate snuggled in close before looking at the cuts of Richard's chest.

Gently kissing them, Kate listened to his heartbeat again. Richard meanwhile held her tight watching her. He still was completely terrified, but knew that there was nothing he could do about it. He would simply have to just listen to Jacob as much as he didn't want to. He would just have to wait and see.

He prayed nothing would happen to her. In this long never ending life of his, he prayed they wouldn't be torn apart. Kissing the top of her head, Richard told her to sleep. Within minutes she was. Richard laid there for a while before closing his own eyes.

When Kate awoke, she found Richard sleeping beside her. Laying there, listening to the birds sing outside she laid back and tried to smile…yet couldn't. Staring at the ceiling, she wondered really what Jacob was. How he came here and how did he control and watch over everything on the island? She wondered what really did happen between Richard and him. Was this a curse…or just plain fate? Looking at his tired sleeping face she wondered how old was he? If he came on the Black Rock would that make him well over a century old?

Thinking that she was pregnant, Kate couldn't really find any reason to be happy. This had scared the living hell out of Richard, and even scared herself. As of right now as much as Jacob promised…she didn't know if her or the baby would be okay? Thinking of Richard, who had been alone for so long, she felt horrible for making him go through this.

"He's just scared for you…that's all Kate."

She heard her mind saying. Sighing, Kate snuggled in closer to him before seeing the cuts on his chest were gone. Raising an eyebrow she couldn't believe it. Looking closer, she saw nothing…not even a mark.

How could it be?

Kate looked at him and remembered him telling her he could die. But how? She knew no matter what, as in love as she was with him…she couldn't do this. She wouldn't allow herself. If it came down to her making the choice of dying or living forever…she would die.

Laying there with her husband, she really did wonder yet again if it had all been a dream or something caused by the bomb. Whatever had happened, she knew the only one who loved her was Richard. She prayed for the first time in a while that everything would be okay. That Jacob was telling the truth and she would live through the pregnancy.

Thinking of Sydney, she knew in her heart she had been real.

Now this baby?

Kate sighed deeply before laying against Richard and listening to him breath.

By the time Richard woke, nearly four in the afternoon. Kate was holding him tightly. When he opened his eyes she saw he was crying.

"Kate what is it?"

Kate pressed her face against his.

"Don't be mad at our baby Richard, promise me you won't."

With that, Richard simply laid there not knowing what to say as he held his wife.


	19. Exact image

**The same day Richard and Kate walked back to the village, and slept in until nearly late afternoon…Locke had been waiting. Around dusk Richard who was freshly dressed in a cranberry colored shirt and dark slacks came down the front steps of the porch and spotted Locke right away. Strolling over, Locke tried his hardest to sound casual. **

"**Where's Kate?"**

"**She's inside showering."**

**Locke's eyes then fixed on Richard.**

"**And last night?"**

**Richard just stared at him with his dark eyes.**

"**Let's just say we came to an agreement with Jacob."**

**Locke's eyes widened as he stepped a foot closer.**

"**You went back to the cabin?"**

"**Yes…"**

"**With Kate?"**

"**Of course, she was very upset."**

"**Did she hear him?"**

"**No…but this time I got the answers I wanted to know. He told me we couldn't leave the island and that Kate would be perfectly fine during the pregnancy."**

"**Jacob said this?"**

**Richard nodded as Locke looked him over with untrusting eyes.**

"**Richard, Jacob talks a great deal to me…and last night when we were in the cabin he seemed very stubborn on the subject with Kate."**

"**That's when I took her out there and talked with him again. I was scared Locke…that's my wife we're talking about."**

"**And what did he say?"**

"**He said that Kate would be fine…that there was nothing to worry about."**

"**Does this mean all the women?"**

"**I'm not sure…but as of right now Kate and I are putting our fate in Jacob's hands. Which is something I don't usually do. In fact…I believe all the years of Ben being our leader caused this fear of the pregnancies much worse. I think we should move back to our camps in the jungles for a while…might be for the best."**

**Locke folded his arms. Just this early morning he had gone to the cabin to try and speak with Jacob. Believe it or not he was worried about his friends and wanted to know if there really wasn't anything he could do. Jacob's voice simply said this was Richard and Kate's business and that he would take care of them as always. Now looking at the calm expression on Richard's face, Locke could only believe it. **

"**I think you might be right Richard. I'll speak with the others later on tonight. Now what are you're plans with the pregnancy."**

"**I don't think I follow you?"**

"**Are you going to tell everyone? I mean this news would be very interesting for everyone. The only young ones we got are the children from the flight four years ago…since then nothing."**

"**I think we're going to wait. It's still early and as you know Kate has a history of miscarriages. I'll watch her closely and when the times comes we'll tell everyone. Until then I would like to keep it just between us."**

**Locke nodded.**

"**I completely understand."**

"**Good."**

"**You're not worried?"**

**Richard sighed.**

"**I'm scared to death really…but after what I heard last night…I need to take a chance."**

"**Even with you're wife. From the looks of it Richard Kate is one in a million…and you've lived a very long life."**

**Richard's eyes became serious.**

"**I'll do anything to protect her…anything."**

"**Even sacrifice?"**

"**Sacrifice of what?"**

"**Oh I think you know…"**

**Before Locke could finish, Kate came walking down the front steps in a sundress, her hair tied back tight. Her face now refreshed and beautiful. **

"**Richard?"**

**Richard turned as Kate walked over, barefooted. Taking Richard's arm she looked at Locke and gave a strained smile.**

"**Hi John."**

"**Hello Kate."**

**Just then one of the others who had a riffle swung over their shoulder called out to Locke. Turning he half smiled.**

"**Excuse me."**

**Walking away, Richard and Kate watched him. Kate glanced down at Richard's wrist watch and saw it was nearly sunset. **

"**I still feel exhausted."**

**Kate softly said. Richard put his arm around Kate, drawing her in closer and rubbing the her side. Still watching Richard, he sighed. **

"**Kate, promise me you won't say a word of what we did last night to anyone…not even Locke."**

**Kate looked up at him.**

"**Of course."**

**Nodding, Richard looked up at the sky.**

"**Come on, let's get some fresh air."**

**Walking with him, Kate had the more uneasy feeling she ever felt in the pit of her stomach. Something was wrong, she could see it was worrying Richard. Instead of saying anything she simply walked with him. **

"**We're leaving the village soon?"**

**Kate asked as Richard looked down at her as they walked.**

"**Yes…soon in fact."**

"**You don't much like it here."**

**Richard shrugged. **

"**It's our home…but I think it's better when we just live without the modern devices Ben often made us have. Anyways I like it the other way…makes me feel more alive when I wake up in the beach or jungle."**

"**Yeah me too."**

**Crossing the fences, which were now disabled, Kate raised an eyebrow.**

"**How come when these things worked…that black smoke couldn't get through?"**

"**Huh?"**

"**The monster…I saw it myself, is it because there's some force field?"**

**Richard looked up at the fences as they past through before dryly laughing.**

"**These things were build years ago…I think mainly to keep us out. Of course they don't work…not on me at least."**

"**What about the monster then?"**

"**I don't know. I've past through it many times when it was walking…even saw anything like that."**

"**Do you know the smoke monster is? I mean it doesn't bother us anyone."**

"**It's part of the island."**

"**Like Jacob?"**

**Richard smiled.**

"**Sort of…come on."**

**The rest of the walk was in silence. Right away the sun started to set they reached their favorite spot up on the high hill that over looked the valley. Sitting down in the tall grass Kate laid back looking at the sky. **

"**You scared?"**

**Richard gazed out at the view before laying back himself. Both stared up at the beautiful colored sky as stars began to twinkle out above them. Richard sighed deeply before putting his hands behind his head.**

"**Yeah…I am."**

"**I'm scared too."**

**Richard looked over at Kate before reaching over and taking one of her hands.**

"**Richard?"**

"**Yeah?"**

"**Please tell me everything I need to know. You can't leave me in the dark…not if you love me."**

"**What do you wanna know?"**

"**Everything."**

"**Everything?"**

"**Yes…starting with how many years you've been on this island."**

**Richard stared over at Kate as the two of them laid together in the grass. Taking a deep breath he began.**

**Five months later**

"Jesus just kill me now!"

Kate moaned as she kneeled down in the sand near the bushes throwing up. Her back arching, she began to dry heave as she vomited again and began to gag. Richard meanwhile knelt beside her gently rubbing her back with a more then worried look on his face.

"This isn't normal…"

Richard said before Kate wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. Spitting, she sat up as her hair clung to her skin. Richard right away felt her neck and knew she was running a fever. Her color was off, and she looked completely horrible and drained.

"Richard…I need…to lay…down…"

Richard quickly stood up before scooping her up in his arms. Carrying her to their tent, he noticed a few worried looks come from the others…most of all Locke.

They were camped out on one of the beaches now. Richard had hoped the sea air would make Kate's never ending morning sickness and nausea. A good number of their people did have some background in some special trait. Luckily for Richard he had some understanding of the medical world along with three or four of their friends. The news of Kate's pregnancy stayed a secret until Kate safely past the 100th day mark in her pregnancy. Going through her second trimester smoothly at first, Richard truly thought everything was going to be okay. Breaking the news, everyone was amazed and more then happy for them. Richard had been here long before them and had taken good care of them all whenever their leader was making the right decisions or not. For the most part, he head seen them out through Ben, and now into a much more understanding leader in Locke. Their people trusted Richard and never questioned him simply because they all knew power and control were the least of his interests. All he really cared about was the island…and now his wife.

There were questions at first, but all Richard told them was that he really didn't know of pregnancies were safe yet. That Jacob had told him those troubles were all part of the past and to wait and see after Kate gave birth. He reassured everyone that Kate would be perfectly fine and that he was trusting Jacob completely. But Locke on the other hand could read right through his lies.

The morning sickness was something that began before Kate even reached her second month. From five in the morning, to almost ten Kate would be retching away as Richard sat behind her holding her hair and trying his hardest to sooth her. At first it seemed perfectly normal until Kate began getting so drained from it, that Richard began to worry.

Anytime he went to the cabin to speak with Jacob he would get the same reply.

"She'll be fine. Put you're trust in me."

And whenever Locke would ask, privately whenever Richard had left Jacob's voice would laugh and tell Locke not to worry about his two friends.

Richard kept trying to remember Jacob's promise to them whenever Kate seemed miserable laying against him before turning her head and throwing up again. He hated to see her in so much pain.

But by the afternoon she seemed fine. She was walking around with everyone else and in a great mood. Once the news of the pregnancy was out, Kate had her good days and bad ones. Whenever she was doing mad she either stayed inside or tried her hardest from the others. She didn't want them to worry. Instead it was just Richard and her.

A few of Kate's friends had taken her around the old medical stations and showed her different things she could use for the baby. Thinking of Claire and Aaron, Kate felt very overwhelmed. Somehow on the island everything seemed so different.

One day while sitting around in the grass, fixing some torn clothes, Kate, Mercedes, and Cindy. Two women she had grown very close with. It was a beautiful sunny day and for once Kat was feeling better.

"Are you nervous?"

Kate looked up.

"Huh?"

"About the baby?"

Kate smiled while shrugging.

"Yeah I guess a little."

"Are you scared, I mean…you do know what happens to pregnant women in the island."

Kate slowly nodded, her eyes troubled.

"Yeah, a little bit. But Richard and I were told that was over…that nothing would happen.'

"From Jacob?"

Kate knew she needed to say as little as possible.

"Yes…that's what he told Locke and Richard."

"Well I think it's exciting, I mean most of all you and Richard…he's been with us since I was a child."

Kate smiled at Mercedes.

"Yeah, we feel really lucky."

"Of course you are…everyone thinks Richard is handsome…and mysterious."

Kate blushed.

"I guess that's what attracted me to him in the first place."

"You know…he really should be the leader. I mean I have nothing against Locke. But Ben was horrible."

"Come on Cindy."

"But it's true. Richard is the only one who really cares about us…and the fact he's such a big part of the island. I mean you never have the second guess him."

Kate kept sewing the clothes as the two women went back and forth.

"Kate?"

Kate looked up, half listening.

"Yeah?"

"When you were first brought to our camp…after you washed up on shore…they did you had a miscarriage. Was that true?"

"Cindy!"

Kate smiled.

"No, it's okay. Yes I was pregnant."

"How far along were you?"

"Not very far…the father…well at far as I know left the island."

"Were you married?"

Kate shook her head.

"And he just left you?"

"What choice did he have. Anyways…there were more then enough signs to show we weren't supposed to be together."

"You know…there was a rumor that Richard had a child."

"Shhhh! Cindy!"

Kate's eyes went to them, now very interested.

"Huh?"

"Don't listen to her, she's new and stupid."

"I've been here four years Mercedes…word does get around."

"What about this?"

Mercedes looked at Kate and sighed.

"I think we all know Richard is special. When I first came to the island when I was seventeen Richard looked exactly the same he does now. It's something we just don't question."

Kate thought back at that night on the hill when Richard told her everything and sighed as Mercedes went on.

"I guess Richard was here back even in the 1970's. With the same group who first came here in the early 50's. Our people had a woman leader back then…I don't remember her name but I know she left the island. This was back when we were separate from the Dharma people. I guess the woman was involved with a very powerful man who at one point was our leader as well…he was vanished."

"Why?"

"Who knows, long before our time. Anyways…this woman had a very brief affair with Richard and ended up pregnant. She left the island before giving birth and was never seen or heard from again."

"And everyone thought Richard was the father?"

Mercedes shrugged.

"There were rumors, and I guess Richard got very upset when she left. Since then he distanced himself…until you came. I've never seen Richard so happy. I really think the island is giving him a second chance. If this baby is okay…I think it's going to be special."

Kate tried to smile.

"You think so?"

"Yeah, look at it's father."

Kate smiled, this was a very interesting story. But she didn't know if it was true. Richard as special as he was…still was a man. It wouldn't surprise her if he had past relationships. But from the sound of it…Richard really hadn't been this happy until Kate came along. Feeling strange about the whole thing, Kate decided not to bring it up. Yes they pretty much knew everything about each other…but still his past was his past.

He never judged her for going back and forth between Jack, Sawyer, and Desmond.

So she didn't say anything. Shortly after, Kate saw Richard talking with Locke beneath one of the tents and smiled. Looking down at herself, she did count herself lucky.

She was now getting a stomach, which showed perfectly underneath her shirts. Just a week ago Richard had taken her to one of the old medical labs and did an ultrasound. He really wasn't completely clear on what he was doing…Juliet had been the expert. But he tried his best and as the two nervous sat in the damp dark watching the screen, it lit up and showed their baby.

"Lift your shirt up…this is going to be cold."

Kate did so as Richard moved the paddle around.

"Do these machines still work."

"It's only been a couple of years…should."

Kate looked over at Richard.

"You know a lot about this stuff?"

Richard turned a dial to adjust to screen as it began lighting up, showing fuzzy images.

"Somewhat…God knows Ben tried his hardest to make us scientist."

Just then a thumping filled the room. Richard moved the paddle a little more until the screen fully lit up.

Kate sat forward, her eyes big.

"Is that our baby?"

Richard moved the paddle before looking at the screen and smiling.

"Yep, that's it."

"Does it look okay? Does it look healthy?"

Kate was nearly on the edge of her seat. Richard grinned, feeling his own heart become suddenly very overwhelmed. Still smiling he closely looked as Kate's eyes filled with tears.

"That's our baby Richard…that's it?"

Kate couldn't believe it. She remembered being in Los Angeles alone while getting her ultrasound done for Sydney. She remembered sitting up looking at the screen in amazement. Looking at the tiny little thing that was growing inside of her and still being completely in awe. She remembered wishing so badly for Desmond to be there, holding her hand and looking at the screen at the baby they made together.

Richard turned, still smiling before leaning over and kissing her.

The baby seemed fine.

When Richard asked if they should check the sex Kate shook her head.

"No, let's find out when it comes."

Richard kissed her again, agreeing that was a good idea.

Somehow this was different. Richard had been by her side the entire time. As scared as she was, somehow looking at Richard's face made it better. Knowing his baby was growing inside of her made her feel proud. This baby was going to be special…she knew it.

From Kate's blood work, and how the baby looked everything seemed perfectly fine. That night Locke informed Richard that Jacob wanted to speak with him. Once at the cabin Jacob told Richard that he could no longer use the old Dharma medical supplies. That all of those tests and charts were works of Ben who didn't let the island set nature's course. Worried by this Richard told Jacob that he was just worried about Kate. That she had been really sick lately and he just wanted to see if the baby was okay.

Jacob told him to let the island take care of it. That if he kept using modern practices it may in fact harm the baby. Not fully understanding, Richard walked back to their tent angry and confused. Locke meanwhile didn't say a thing.

When he heard their tent Kate was sitting up looking at the ultrasound photo Richard had printed out for her at the station. Kate stared at the blurry image with such a deep look in her eye as she gently rubbed her stomach humming. Richard stood in the doorway smiling

He would take care of her, no matter what happened.

That night Richard crawled into bed and placed his hand against Kate's stomach. Kate swore she had felt movement earlier.

"It's too early Kate."

Richard smiled, but Kate kept his hand there.

"Shhhh, just wait…you'll feel it."

So they waited until for a brief moment Richard did indeed think he felt something. Smiling, he kissed her and told her he couldn't wait to see their baby. Kate was his soul mate now and he would do anything to be with her, time or no time. She now knew all his secrets. His past, and his purpose he served here.

Now slowly entering Kate's sixth month, Richard laid her on their bed inside their tent and felt her face.

She was burning up.

Sitting beside her, he made her drink water before she began to gag again. Feeling horrible cramps, she snapped her eyes shut and cried out as Richard held her, gently rocking her back and forth. If this didn't end he would get Jacob, he didn't care what he would say.

Finally Kate's cries broke away as she slowly fell asleep. Richard held her, his hands at her stomach before he felt something.

A kick?

Raising an eyebrow, Richard felt again.

Nothing.

Sighing, he felt her head again and the fever was burning up.

"Come on Kate…"

Kate mumbled, turning over.

"No…"

Richard lifted her again and brought her back out. Mostly everyone was going about their business. But still there were plenty who were watching with worried faces. Richard brought Kate towards the surf and began walking in the water as Kate laid her head against his chest.

Going knee high in the water, Richard sat down and brought Kate into the water in his arms. She moaned, but he held her there. Laying her head against his chest, her eyes fluttered open and looked as him. The water moved around them as Richard sat there holding her.

"Richard what are you doing?"

"I'm lowering you're fever…stay still."

"Richard we're getting all wet…"

"Shhhh…"

Everyone back on the beach decided to go about their way, even though most of the women simply shook their heads. It would just be a matter of time before Kate got worse and worse. They knew no matter who were the parents…pregnant women just didn't survive.

Emma, and Zach, the two youngest out of their people simply stood on the beach watching. They liked Richard, he had always been so nice to them and usually took them to the temple in the jungle. They felt sorry his wife was getting sick. They knew it was because she was going to have a baby…and if you had a baby on this island. You died.

Fifteen minutes later, Kate's color began to return. Her hair washed behind her shoulders back and forth by the tide. Finally she looked up at Richard.

"What's wrong?"

Richard, dripping wet held her tighter…knowing he had to do something.

After placing her in bed at their tent, Richard marched to the first medical station. There had to be something he could find to help her.

Instead…he found nothing. The medical station was wiped out. Everything was empty. Going to the second station, and then the third by nightfall Richard was outraged. Most of the medical equipment was gone. Marching to the cabin, Richard swung open the door and found Locke sitting in a rocking chair in complete silence.

"Where is everything?"

Locke looked up.

"What?"

"The medical equipment. I've just been to three different stations and there's nothing."

"Why are you looking for stuff like that?"

"Because Kate is sick…I need to know if she's okay."

"She's fine, last I saw you were putting her to bed."

"Damnit Locke stop! I need to know if something is wrong."

"Didn't Jacob tell you not to use modern devices. That it might harm the baby?"

Richard tried to keep breathing, he had never felt this angry before in his life.

"Locke, she's not doing good…I need to make sure she'll be okay.'

"Jacob told you to let the island do it's work…you should listen."

Richard stood in the doorway making fists, never before in his very long life had he wanted to kill someone.

At that exact moment Kate tossed and turned in their bed. Richard had blown out all the lanterns before leaving and she laid in darkness. Not able to sleep, Kate felt sick again and tried her hardest to control it. She had never felt so awful before in her entire life.

Some days were better then others, today had been horrible.

She thought of that day on the beach when she asked Desmond if he still loved Penny. Laying there, Kate rubbed her arms. She for some reason was freezing. Laying there, remembering all these awful memories tears escaped from her eyes.

She thought of Sydney and Aaron, and wished more then anything to see them right now.

"It can't be a dream…"

She softly said. Laying here, she truly didn't know if Jacob had been right. She was slowly going into her sixth month in the pregnancy and never before had she felt anything like this. Thinking back at everything, she thought of Richard and tried to shut her eyes. No matter what had happened, he had been there for her. Laying there she wondered if she would live…or the baby.

Thinking of Sydney, her eyes filled with tears. Would it be the same? Would this baby be okay? Would it be special like everyone else was saying? Of course it was. Every time she looked at Richard her heart seemed to swell. Knowing she was carrying his baby was more then enough for her to push on.

But would she survive?

Just then the opening of the tent was drawn back. It was night now.

It was late now, and the wind was blowing hard. Richard stood in the opening, his eyes tried.

Kate hiked herself up and looked up at him.

"What is it?"

Richard slowly shook his head.

"Nothing…how are you feeling?"

Kate shrugged.

"Better…"

Just then she stopped before her eyes lit up.

"Richard come here!"

Richard's sat down quickly on the edge before Kate quickly grabbed his hands and placed them on her stomach.

"Feel…"

Richard waited before he felt it. Right away his eyes widened before a big grin appeared on his face. Kate laughed through tears looking up at him in the darkness.

"That's our baby…it's kicking."

Richard laughed before putting his ear to her stomach and smiling, looking down at him Kate suddenly remembered Desmond doing the exact thing no more then four years ago. Her smile fading away, she sat in the darkness with Richard remembering Desmond.


	20. It worked

Three months later

Kate found herself sitting on the beach early one morning while the sky turned a beautiful shade of pink and hazel before her eyes. The tide was in, and the sound of the ocean seemed soothing to her ears. It was all ready warning up as a light breeze blew against her. Smiling and digging her feet into the warm sand, Kate tilted her head back and deeply sighed. 

Just then she heard ticking. 

Kate opened her eyes and looked around. It was still early out and nobody were out of their tents yet. In fact, she had snuck out of bed, slowly slithering out from Richard's arms in order to watch the sun rise and enjoy the quietness of the early morning. 

Looking around, slightly puzzled she right away thought of Richard's wrist watch. Usually he took it off before sleeping and left it on the nightstand beside the lantern and his reading glasses. The ticking had been a peaceful sound Kate had gotten used to as she slowly drifted off to sleep each night. But somehow this seemed different…the ticking almost seemed louder then usual. 

"Hello love?"

Kate's eyes widened at that voice. A voice she hadn't heard in years. Slowly turning, her heart leaping into her throat she looked up and saw Desmond standing there in the exact clothes he was wearing them they all first left the island in the chopper. 

Kate blinked, unable to move.

Desmond grinned, his handsome eyes flashing at her.

"Des…Des…"

Kate couldn't speak, she felt as though somebody had thrown a bucket of ice cold water on her. Desmond smiled before kneeling down to eye level. Reaching out and brushing a piece of her hair away he stared right at her.

"It wasn't a dream love, the bomb worked."

Kate just stared at him as he softly laughed.

"I guess Jack wasn't crazy after all."

Kate finally found her voice, she felt as though she was going into shock.

"Desmond?"

He smiled at her as birds overhead cried.

"I'm sorry I left you love. It's just you were right…my heart belonged to Penny. I'm sorry if I ever hurt you."

"What are you doing here Desmond?"

"I wanted to let you know the truth…and that I'm sorry I never got to see my daughter. I would like to someday…I heard she's beautiful."

"Sydney?"

"I."

Kate felt tears of shock behind her eyes as she shook all over.

"Desmond…what's going on?"

"I think it might take a bit too long to explain that. But what I need you to do now is to wake up."

"What?"

"Wake up Kate."

"Desmond wait…"

"Wake up!"

Just then Kate's eyes snapped open. 

She had been dreaming.

Taking a second, she stared up at the roof of her tent. The tent Richard and her had been sharing together whenever they set up camp on the beach or in the fields. Feeling the early morning heat, Kate right away felt uncomfortable. They were planning on heading to the beach next, but as of right now they were all camped out in the valley. This was the area on the island Kate disliked the most. There was little shade and they were right out in the open. 

"Kate?"

Kate's mind, still thinking of the dream…how vivid and real it seemed slowly began to fade away. Her heart jumped a few beats before she heard her name again and she came back to reality. Turning slightly, she looked and saw Richard laying there, staring at her and smiling.

"You awake honey?"

Kate blinked and looked around their tent. She remembered it had been an awful hot night, in fact the weather had been very humid lately and Richard had slept in his boxers, while Kate slept in a very thin nightgown that billowed down to her knees. Looking over, she then heard the ticking.

She saw Richard's wrist watch laying on the night stand like it always did. Turning back, she looked at her husband's handsome face and came back to the safe and comfortable world that the dream had shaken for a moment. Laying there, Kate smiled before nodding.

"Yeah I'm awake."

"You were mumbling in you're sleep…like you were having a bad dream."

Kate thought back at Desmond, kneeling down looking at her. How nearly every memory that had begun to fade over the past year all came back at once.

"The bomb worked."

His words rang through her head before she blinked again, Richard laid looking into her eyes. Right away that safe feeling returned, and her heart fluttered with the amount of love she had for this man. 

"Was I?"

"Yeah…must have been a pretty good one, baby is kicking up a storm."

Kate looked down at her perfectly round stomach that was underneath the thin fabric of nightgown. She was exactly nine months now and awaiting labor any day. The more the days crawled by the more nervous Richard and her had gotten. Everyone at camp seemed to be holding their breath for the new arrival. The pregnancy in total had been hard, but after the beginning of the sixth month things seemed to calm down. Richard was on edge as always, jumping anytime Kate made a noise or said something in the slightest was hurting her. She thought back at how wonderful he had been and smiled. The last month they had really begun looking forward to the baby. Locke had build them a crib in which stood empty on the other side of their tent. Waiting for their baby to fill it.

Kate felt very uncomfortable being this pregnant. She always had to shift to change positions, and the baby always seemed to be on the move. She felt huge, and very sore and tried whenever she was on her feet for too long. Richard had her mostly on strict bed rest and watched her closely. 

Now they were just waiting for the baby to come.

The truth was…Kate was scared.

Looking at Richard's tattoo on his chest, her hand went out and rubbed the side of his shoulder.

"Yeah…I can feel it."

Richard's hand went on her stomach and waited as the baby began to kick even harder. Richard smiled. The latest thing had been whenever Richard placed his hands on Kate's stomach the baby would begin kicking like a madman. Kate joked saying the baby all ready knew who it's daddy was. Richard laughed rolling his eyes anytime this happened, but she saw the amazement and wonder in his eyes whenever it happened. In fact, whenever they were in private he would talk to her stomach, smiling and kissing it.

This made Kate feel proud, knowing how much Richard loved their baby. 

The baby started kicking right away by Richard's touch. Kate had been holding back in telling him how uncomfortable this felt with the baby moving so much, but didn't want to ruin that look that came across Richard's face whenever he felt it.

Richard laughed, looking at her stomach before he leaned over and kissed Kate. Smiling through the kiss, Kate wondered why Richard was so excited for this baby? Was it really because this was his first child? She knew that wasn't true. He had told her back when he was his original age his young wife from Spain had died during childbirth along with the baby. She remembered the pain in his eyes when he told her this. And then the rumors. Did she really believe he had an affair way back in the 1970s? She really didn't know. It was possible. Maybe Richard finally saw this as his chance to have a child…to be a father and for once feel normal. She knew he loved her with all his heart.

But Desmond's words kept ringing in her mind. 

"I wanna go to the beach today…sit in the sand and watch the ocean."

Richard looked at her.

"It's too far of a walk."

"Come on Richard, I'm going stir crazy…it isn't that long."

"I don't think you're in the right state to be walking across the jungle."

Kate wrinkled her nose while giggling.

"Don't be such a sore sport…come on let's get dressed."

In seconds she was up, holding her stomach as she slipped into one of her tan sundresses. Richard sat up in bed watching her before smiling. Grabbing his wrist watch from the nightstand, he slipped it one and kept watching her. Thinking how beautiful she was.

A few hours later they had reached the beach. By then Kate's feet were throbbing and she needed to sit down. Richard shook his head as he set down his pack. 

"I told you it was too long, come on."

Richard lead her over to a soft spot of sand underneath the shade of a palm tree. Having her settle down he gave her some water and rubbed her stomach.

"How are we doing?"

Kate looked out at the ocean before nodding.

"Good…just wanna sit for a while with you, come on."

Kate motioned beside herself as Richard sat down. Slipping her hand into his, the two leaned against the tree and watched the water in silence. 

"Do you remember the first time we met?"

Richard dryly laughed.

"How could I forget."

"Near the temple…"

Richard's brow wrinkled before he shook his head.

"What? The first time I met you was when we shot the military and promise you the chopper…remember you cut Ben loose?"

Kate nodded.

"Oh yeah…sorry I thought that was near the temple."

Richard watched her closely before putting his arm around her. Laying her head against Richard's shoulder, Kate drifted off to sleep again. She had been exhausted lately and the heat wasn't doing any better for her. 

When she opened her eyes it was dusk. Richard had his torch all ready out and was in the process of getting it ready to light. Kate shifted, feeling the baby move as she yawned. Richard looked over his shoulder at her.

"What time is it?"

Richard checked his watch and then looked up at the sky.

"Almost dark…I feel asleep…and lost track of time."

Kate looked at how beautiful the sky looked and how the stars were all ready coming out.

"It's beautiful out here…"

"Yeah well I don't really like the thought of you walking in the jungle when it's dark out…you might trip over something."

Kate held her stomach smiling.

"We could always just spent the night here?"

Richard looked back at her and smiled as he began working on getting the torch lit. Kate looked around before getting herself up.

"Excuse me for a second, I need to pee."

Richard laughed as Kate went a few feet away and into the bushes. A few seconds later Richard heard her scream. Jumping up, Richard ran over.

"Kate?!"

Kate was standing, holding her stomach as what looked to be water dripping down her legs and into a puddle onto the ground. Richard looked her up and down, his jaw dropped and his eyes big.

"Richard…I think…my water just broke…"

Her words were spaced out as she tried to breath. Seconds later she snapped her eyes shut clutching herself.

"Oh God!"

Richard ran over, holding her.

"What is it?"

"It hurts!"

Kate cried, Richard lowered her to the ground as she began trying madly to catch her breath. Richard held onto her, looking scared to death.

"Richard…the baby is coming…"

Richard looked around helpless.

"Now?"

Kate's nodded as sweat began rolling off her, huffing in and out she looked up at Richard before holding her stomach and snapping her eyes shut.

"Oh God help me!"

"Hold on!"

Richard jumped up running to get his pack and the torch. Running back he saw Kate sitting up against another tree, holding her stomach and crying out. Lighting the torch as quickly as he could, Richard stuck it into the ground so he could get enough light. Kate shut her eyes again crying.

"It's never been this bad before! Something is wrong!"

"Shhhh, it's okay Kate just breath."

Kate kept crying, her face turning red as she held onto herself. Richard looked around the dark beach and knew there was nobody to help them. Positioning her, he made her spread her legs as he kneeled down and took her hands.

"Kate how far apart are the pains?"

"Their coming quick! It's coming!"

She cried out before looking right at him.

"Help me Richard! Please help me!"

Richard felt himself shake, looking at his wife's pain filled face in the flicking light. Using his hands, he could feel the baby and saw there was all ready blood…a lot of it. 

"Okay Kate, I need you to squeeze my hand and start to push."

Kate shook her head.

"No…I can't."

"Come on Kate push hard! Now!"

Kate bore down, snapping her eyes shut before pushing with all her might. Clutching onto Richard's arm she cried before stopping for a second and trying her best to gasp for air. Richard rolled up his sleeves and tried to get a better look.

"Okay Kate again push!"

"It hurts!"

"I know it does baby, but push! Push for me!"

Kate pushed again, this time even harder. All the color now out of her face. Crying, she clung onto Richard before trying again. Her cries filled the empty night air before she tilted her head back.

"Something is wrong…I can feel it."

"Nothing is wrong Kate, keep pushing…come on!"

Kate pushed again, Richard saw more blood. 

Feeling the baby, he knew in just a few more pushes it would be out. Kate kept gasping even harder for breath. Looking at Richard, she tried her hardest to focus. This was their baby that was coming. But Desmond's words kept coming back, playing over and over again in her mind.

"The bomb worked."

"Push Kate!"

Kate pushed again, this time with all her might. Screaming, Kate bore down and then gasped out for air as the baby slid out into Richard's blood soaked hands.

Right away it's cries filled the air. Richard looked down amazed as it squirmed and began crying at the top of it's lungs. Speechless, he stared down at it before lifting the baby and showing Kate.

"It's a boy!"

Kate tried her hardest to look at it, but the pain seemed to be getting worse, she felt herself getting short of breath and a horrible ache was coming from inside of her. Much like Ben's mother nearly forty years ago…Kate knew right away she was dying.

Richard held the baby, amazed with tears of joy in his eyes. Looking down at Kate, he saw all her color was gone, her eyes were half open and very cloudy. 

"Kate?"

"It hurts Richard…it hurts…'

Richard looked down and saw more blood, a lot of it in fact, it was everywhere. 

"Kate?"

Kate's eyes kept fluttering open and close, Richard right away knew in his heart what was happening. Trying his hardest to hold the baby, he tore his shirt off and wrapped it in it before seeing the cord. Grabbing into his pack, he took his buck knife off and quickly put the baby up to Kate.

"Kate?"

She was hardly moving.

As hard as he could, Richard slapped her face making her eyes open.

"Kate hold the baby as tight as you can."

"Richard?"

"Can you do that?"

Kate slowly nodded as more blood appeared on the ground. Placing the baby in her arms. Kate's limp hand tightly went around it. Her eyes drifted down at the newborn still crying at the top of it's lungs. Richard quickly stood, throwing his back over his neck and knowing right away he couldn't carry her and the torch at the same time.

Kate gazed down at the baby, the pain getting worse.

Right away the most wonderful feeling filled her heart. The same feeling she had when she looked at Sydney. Smiling, she felt like crying. This was it…this was Richard and her baby.

"Hi there…"

Richard scooped Kate up, shifting her in his arms before making sure she was holding the baby right. Taking off down the beach, Richard ran as fast as he could. Kate meanwhile clung onto the baby as she kept bleeding. Midway there, Kate looked up at Richard. 

"Name him Adam…that's a good name for him."

Richard looked down as he ran.

"Stay with me Kate!"

Kate looked over at the baby and smiled.

"He's beautiful Richard, he looks just like you… 

Richard kept running before he looked down and saw Kate's eyes were no longer open. He couldn't tell if she was breathing or not, only that her grip on the baby was still holding tight. Running as fast as he could, he finally saw the statue. He was lucky they had gone to the beach so close to it. Gasping for air, Richard hurried before climbing up the rocks. The baby was screaming even harder now as Richard tried his hardest to make sure it wouldn't fall. Backing up against the stone wall he gritted his teeth and pushed up against it with all his might. Moments later he was back inside and nearly stumbled to the ground.

Jacob simply sat there, the fireplace going as his eyes danced along with the flames. Richard burst in, holding Kate and the baby, blood all over his bare chest. Jacob right away looked up.

"Richard…I believe your son has come tonight."

The baby kept screaming before Richard walked forward, sweat beading off him.

"Do what you told me you would do."

Jacob slowly rose.

"But she didn't want it that way…"

Richard shook his head.

"She's dying…I can't be without her, do it now."

Jacob smirked.

"My…how curses turn into gifts."

"Please Jacob!"

"You do understand…she'll be just like you…forever?"

"Just do it, please!"

Jacob smiled before the fireplace slowly flickered out, leaving Richard in the darkness holding Kate as their son kept crying. 


	21. The waterfall

Richard returned to a valley a little after three in the morning. Carrying Kate, who slept peacefully against him, and his newborn son that was wrapped up in his shirt and snuggled against both parents thinly crying. The only people who were still awake were Locke, and a young man by the name of David. Both sat at one of the camp fires joking and comparing how bad their insomnia was getting. When they heard footsteps both looked and froze.

Richard looked completely exhausted. Holding Kate and the baby right away Locke and David jumped up.

"Richard!"

"Could you help me bring her to the tent…she's lost a lot of blood."

Right away Locke very carefully took Kate from Richard's tired arms. Richard held onto the baby that was wrapped up as David ran ahead to the tent and lit a few lanterns. Richard stood there for a moment, listening to the wind and looking around at all the dark tents before the baby cried again and he looked down at it.

This was his son, and Kate was right…he was perfect. Hurrying to the tent, he came inside to find Kate laid out on the bed as David was looking her over. David had been in charge of one of the medical stations nearly five years ago.

"When did she go into labor?"

Richard felt very dazed as he walked in, holding the baby as Locke looked him up and down.

"Umm, a few hours ago on the beach."

"We thought something had happened…we were going to send some people out but I thought maybe you two camped out on the beach since it got dark."

David kept looking Kate over.

"She's still bleeding."

Richard just watched, his eyes almost glazed over as the baby's tiny little hands reached up and wiggled.

"Did you deliver her?"

Richard nodded before David stood up.

"Locke I need some hot water, also my black bag in my tent, the one near my bunk…fetch it…don't wake the others. "

Locke nodded before passing Richard, casting a glance before leaving. Richard held the baby before walking up to David, his eyes not very concerned.

"Can you stop the bleeding?"

"I'll see… "

David then looked up at Richard before sighing.

"It might be best if you stay outside."

Richard looked over at Kate, now drained and lifeless her face seemed before slowly nodding. Holding the baby he exited the tent and went over to one of the fires, watching Locke as he ran back to the tent. Sitting down, Richard looked down at the baby before staring up at the stairs. Minutes later Locke came and sat down beside him.

"David says he can stop the bleeding…might take a while, I wouldn't worry."

Richard stared down at the baby who squirmed and faintly cried in the bundle of his shirt.

"I'm not."

Locke stared at him, his eyes uneasy.

"You're not?"

Richard looked over.

"No John…I'm not."

They sat in silence for most of the night, the baby finally fell asleep shortly before dawn. Finally as light began touching the sky David walked out, blood up to his elbows. Locke and Richard stood right away. David shook his head.

"I stopped the bleeding, she'll be fine…but…she'll never have another baby."

Locke stared at Richard for a moment before Richard stepped forward.

"I want to see her."

"Sure…she's really weak though, in fact I'm kind of stunned she made it through the night…blood loss like that…"

Richard, as if he hadn't even heard him pushed forward and entered the tent. David turned and looked at Locke.

"She really should of died though, I've seen women like that die during childbirth…she lost most of her blood."

Locke stared at the tent.

"Is that so?"

Inside the tent, Richard slowly walked in before seeing Kate resting on the bed. Her color hadn't fully come back yet, and she laid there like a rag doll. Richard saw a few bowels of bloody rags and things to the side. Slowly walking over, Richard sat on the edge of the bed.

"Kate?"

Kate's eyes slowly fluttered open before looking up at him.

"Am I dead?"

Richard smiled.

"No…you're very much alive."

"What happened?"

Kate tried to slightly sit up before hissing in pain. Richard used his free hand to gently push her back down.

"You lost a lot of blood…save you're strength."

"I'm so sore…"

"That's because you had the baby."

Kate's eyes lit up.

"I did?"

"Here he is…"

Richard slowly lowered the sleeping baby onto Kate's chest. Completely stunned, Kate stared at it before the baby began to softly cry again. Tears filling her eyes, Kate laughed before using her finger to touch it's tiny little hand.

"Hello there…"

"Adam, you told me you wanted to name him Adam."

Kate smiled, staring at the baby in amazement.

"Hello Adam Alpert."

Richard laughed watching the two of them before brushing the hair away from Kate's forehead and kissing her.

"Thank you."

Kate looked up, smiling through her tears.

"For what?"

Now Richard was crying.

"For giving me a son."

Kate smiled back at him before looking down at the baby.

"Oh Richard, he's beautiful…"

As this was going on, Locke simply watched from outside of the tent, slowly shaking his head.

**One Year Later**

**Kate stood at the small waterfall, the exact water fall Desmond and her had swan in nearly five years ago. Remembering that day, it all seemed too real, not like a dream. She remembered Sawyer coming and how Desmond went in front of her. She remembered how hard they were laughing as she held onto his back and they dove under water.**

**Now standing there, she bit her bottom lip and thought hard.**

"**Can't we just go around?"**

**She remembered herself saying…back when Richard, Jack, one of the others, and Eloise stood right here she was now. Kate remembered the panic that rose in her throat when she knew they intended to really go ahead with this and how she backed away shaking her head.**

"**I can't do this…"**

**That's when Sayid came out of the bushes and shot the other who had tried to shoot her for leaving. She remembered right before leaving catching Richard's eyes for a second and feeling the most uneasy and horrible feeling ever before taking off.**

**Kate kneeled down looking at the water.**

"**Just swim down…opening at the far end of the rocks."**

**Kate took a deep breath before standing up quickly and shaking her head.**

**She wasn't ready, not yet.**

"**The bomb worked." Desmond's words rang through her head again. The same words that had been repeating over and over again for the last year. Shoving her hands in her pockets, Kate turned and walked back to camp.**

**They were further near the temple now, their tents all in perfect circles. When Kate broke through the bushes, she saw Richard and right away found herself smiling.**

**Richard was standing, bending over slightly and holding Adam's chubby little arms. Adam was in a small little jumper, and his thick black hair he had gotten from Richard was flopped over to one side. Adam giggled, standing slightly on unsteady feet as Richard coached him on.**

"**Come on Adam…take a step baby."**

**Adam stared down at his chubby legs and giggled before looking up at his father. Richard lead him by the hands and slowly began walking backwards. **

**Adam slowly shuffled, before taking one step forward.**

**Kate watched from the bushes and her eyes widened.**

**Adam was taking his first steps.**

**Adam kept giggling, holding onto Richard's big hands as he kept leading him. Adam took another step, then another…and then fell on his bottom. **

**Adam sat there for a second, suspired before his face turned bright red and began screaming. Richard laughed before scooping him up.**

"**What is it? You walked baby! That's good!"**

**Adam buried his face in Richard's shirt, outraged by falling. A few of the others passing by smiled as they went about their work. Kate walked over, holding back from laughing as Richard saw her approaching.**

"**What are you doing to him?"**

**Richard smiled as Adam tried sticking part of Richard's shirt in his mouth. **

"**Our son…just took his first steps."**

"**I saw."**

"**You did?"**

"**Just over there…didn't want to ruin the moment."**

**Richard laughed, switching Adam to hid other arm and rubbing his back.**

"**He'll get it soon…just likes crawling better."**

**Kate walked over, touching the back of her son's head and this thick hair.**

"**Yeah…he doesn't want to grow up too soon on his parents huh?"**

**Adam turned his head and looked at Kate, his tears stopping before smiling.**

"**Let me have him."**

**Richard past him over to Kate as she held him up and blew a strawberry on his belly. Adam began giggling again before Kate laughed and held him looking at Richard.**

"**Where have you been?"**

"**Just talking a walk…you and Locke going to check out the village?"**

"**Yeah…hurricane season is coming and he thinks it might be safer to stay in the village for a while."**

"**Be back before dark?"**

**Richard smiled before leaning over and deeply kissing her, Adam sat between both of his parents, slightly confused by being squeezed like this. **

"**Always."**

**Richard softly said in Kate's ear. Smiling, Kate kissed the side of his scruffy cheek before Adam attempted to latch onto Richard. It had been true, Adam was his father's child and very attached to him. Not only did he look exactly like him, he also became very distressed whenever his father was out of sight. Kate remembered how wonderful the past year had been. How amazed everyone had been about Adam and how much help they had been. Since then there hadn't been any more pregnancies…Kate suspected the women were just scared. **

**Kate heard very little of Jacob. Locke and Richard went into the jungle once or twice every few months and didn't discus anything further. Kate meanwhile didn't seem to care. She was alive and so wasn't her baby. She loved being a mother and enjoyed every moment of it. Nearly every night, Kate would find Richard sitting up in bed reading with Adam peacefully sleeping against his chest. Smiling, her heart fluttered. She was so happy and so lucky to be here…yet she knew something wasn't right.**

**Desmond's words kept coming to her. **

**Richard saw Locke was getting ready, a rifle over one shoulder. **

"**All right, I better get going…"**

"**Be careful please."**

**Richard smiled kissing her again before looking at Adam and petting his head.**

"**See you later big guy."**

**Turning, Richard began walking towards Locke when Adam noticed right away. His body tensing up he reached out madly for Richard as he walked away. **

"**Dada!"**

**Adam had been saying only a few words lately, short ones that were mostly missed in the bubble gurgle of his voice. The one word that was always said the clearest was "Dada" **

**Richard turned as Adam burst into tears, struggling against Kate to get to him.**

"**I'll be back later baby, don't worry."**

"**Dada!"**

**Richard's heart seemed to break every time this happened, but Kate simply waved to him.**

"**Just go, he'll freak out if you stall."**

**Richard nodded before blowing a kiss to Adam.**

"**I'll see you later Adam, be good for you're mother."**

"**Dada!"**

**Richard turned and walked away into the jungle with Locke. Kate stood there, holding Adam and trying her hardest to sooth him.**

"**Shhhh, he'll be back don't worry honey."**

**Setting Adam down, he attempted to stand up once but fell. Crying Adam looked up at Kate with his big brown eyes.**

"**Dada! Dada! Dada!"**

**Kate smiled before Cindy came over.**

"**Everything okay?"**

**Kate smiled.**

"**Yeah, he's just upset Richard left…give him a few minutes it will pass."**

"**He sure is attached to his father huh?"**

"**You don't even know…in fact I might put him down for a nap, I forgot something when I was taking a walk and need to go get it."**

"**I'll watch him."**

**Kate picked up Adam who was still crying.**

"**You sure?"**

"**Sure I'm sure, I love babies…most of all our little Adam."**

**Cindy made silly faces to Adam, who just stared at her hitching in the last of his tears. Taking him, Cindy laughed kissing his chubby little cheeks.**

"**I won't be long…just put him down for his nap."**

"**All right, we'll be fine."**

"**Say goodbye Adam."**

"**Mama?"**

**Kate kissed Adam's cheeks before quickly leaving the camp. Hearing a few faint cries from Adam, she knew Cindy would put him down for his afternoon nap and by the time she came back he would be ready for his dinner. Quickly going through the jungle, Kate walked for a good fifteen minutes because reaching the falls again. **

**Taking a second, Kate looked around before taking three deep breaths. **

**Then she dove in.**


	22. Live

As Kate drove underneath the crystal clear water a million different thoughts rushed through her mind. What would happen if she found the opening under the rocks? Swim through? She supposed so, that was the whole reason she built up enough nerve to dive down in the first place. Then what?

She supposed she would look for the bomb Jack had been talking about in what seemed like such a distant memory. But what if she bumped her head? What if there wasn't any opening? She knew she was taking a risk as she swan down further. She really had no idea what she was looking for, only the need to look. Finally she saw the opening and went in.

It was a tunnel, made in the rocks. Kate felt her lungs throbbing and swan even faster. There she saw above her the surface break. Going up, she broke through in a splash gasping for air. Looking around she found herself in a chilly darkened room. Grabbing onto what seemed like an edge, Kate pulled herself up dripping. Taking a second to let her eyes adjust to the light she dug into her pocket and brought out Richard's silver zip lighter. Hoping it didn't get ruined under the water she blew on it before spinning the wheel. A small flame appeared and gave her enough light to look around.

It seemed exactly like where she had seen Jacob. The carvings on the stone wall and the faint smell of oils and perfumes. Looking around, Kate pushed back her wet hair before stopping dead in her tracks.

The bomb stood there.

Feeling the lighter start to heat up, Kate snapped it closed to cool for a moment. Her heart racing she really didn't know what she was exactly what she was looking at. She remembered Sayid giving Jack what looked like a tiny metal piece, this seemed too big. Right away she knew once she got closer she would see if it looked as though it had been taken apart.

Then what?

What was she even looking for? Whatever had happened had happened. If it was all a dream and everything happened as Richard said she was being stupid not trusting him after all this time. Maybe she had been left behind…but it had been for a reason. And if it was all true, if these memories weren't just a dream then what? What was she even searching for? She could only pray everyone waked up someplace good, safe and away from all this misery. She hoped Sawyer somehow woke in a life with Juliet…both of them alive and together. She hoped Hugo finally found peace and perhaps a girl like Libby that could see him for the gentle soul he was. She hoped Sayid was someplace where there wasn't pain. Either with his wife or Shannon. Miles away from the island like he had wanted…and Jack? She hoped if Jack had woken up someplace he finally could forget this place. That he found a life in which he could be happy…and forget about her.

She hoped Desmond was with Penny, raising and family and not even able to remember anything.

Why was she looking for answers? She had finally found happiness. This island no longer seemed like a nightmare. She was with people who cared about her and had Richard. He was the love of her life and would do anything for her…they had Adam, their baby. She finally found a family that was her own with no horrible memories surrounding it.

But she kept thinking of Sidney. Her beautiful daughter.

If the bomb had worked, she needed to know.

Lighting the lighter once again she slowly approached it froze.

The bomb looked as though it had been opened. Kate gazed inside and found it empty. Just a shell. Holding in a deep breath Kate felt her heart rate begin to race. What did this mean?

Then she heard voices, very faint.

Turning, Kate held out the lighter and followed it. Going down a small hallway, she stopped and saw an opening in the wall. Pieces of brick and stone were all over the place. Snapping the lighter close, she listened closely before squinting.

She saw what looked to be a basement…

A Dharma home.

Hearing the voices, she right away knew it was Richard and Locke talking.

"What's going to happen when she finds out what you had Jacob do Richard?"

Kate tensed, leaning against the wall and straining her ears.

"She'll just have to understand…I did it for her, and for Adam."

"Richard…I know in you're heart you're scared to death of loosing her…but how do you think she'll ever forgive you?"

Just then Kate leaned against a loose rock, it fell hard onto the ground and the voices stopped for a moment. Kate held in a breath waiting.

"What was that?"

"Coming from the basement…come on."

Kate then heard footsteps above her and turned around as quickly as she could. Taking off into the darkness she slid twice on the wet floor before finding the water opening. Taking three big deep breaths, Kate dove back under the water and swan with all her might. Reaching the surface outside, Kate coughed and struggled to swim to the side before getting up soaking wet. Looking around she suddenly felt very scared.

What was Richard and Locke talking about?

Taking off towards their camp, Kate just wanted to run away from it all and wished she hadn't swan into that cave at all. About a half an hour later she reached the camp still dripping wet. Cindy was sitting outside of her tent reading a book.

"Kate what happened to you?"

Kate walked over, trying to catch her breath.

"Nothing, just fell into a stream…where's Adam?"

Cindy marked her place in her book before getting up.

"He's down for his nap…wow you're soaking wet, do you need something?"

Kate faked a smile.

"No I'm fine, just fell."

Kate past Cindy before going inside the tent. Stopping, she stared down at Adam who was peacefully sleeping in his crib, his stuffed polar bear in his arms that one of the women had made from him. Kneeling down beside the crib, Kate reached out and gently touched her baby's cheek. Adam kept sleeping, his beautiful face undisturbed. Feeling a heavy weight in her chest, Kate stood up and peeled herself out of her wet clothes before changing. Nearly an hour later Richard returned just when Adam had gotten up and Kate was feeding him his dinner.

Richard approached the opened tent a few of the others were sitting under, eating and talking among each other. Kate had Adam on her lap as she wiped his cubby little face and tried with the small wooden spoon. It seemed as if most of Adam's food were getting on his clothes then in his mouth. Richard walked over smiling before Adam looked up and saw him.

"Dada!"

Adam held out his arms.

"Dada!"

He began to wiggle in Kate's arms before Richard smiled.

"Let me see him."

Kate breathed a sigh of relief before handing him over before wiping his face one last time with a rag.

"He's been fussy since he woke up."

Adam laid his head on Richard's chest and right away began to calm down. Richard smiled holding the baby before rubbing his back.

"You been a good boy for you're mother?"

Adam made a gurgling sound and began to chew on Richard's collar. Smiling, Richard looked down at Kate as she began to clean up. Right away his smile faded as he watched her.

"Something wrong?"

Kate looked up before nervously smiling.

"No…just tried."

Richard watched her closely for a moment before Kate stood up, wiping her hands on her jeans.

"So…how is the village looking?"

Richard looked straight into her eyes.

"Good…Locke says we might all move back there within the year. He wants to disable those fences…might be an accident you know?"

Kate nodded before feeling a horrible tug on her heart. Not being able to stand his eyes on her for another second Kate quickly turned and headed for their tent. Richard watched before Adam made another gurgling noise and giggled, now trying for one of Richard's shirt buttons.

Following her, Richard entered the shade of the tent and closed the opening behind him. Kate sat on the bed, looking at her hands and her ring. Richard walked over, Adam in his arms.

"What's wrong Kate?"

Kate looked up at Richard, before deeply sighing.

"We promised each other we wouldn't tell anymore lies…that we wouldn't hide any secrets since we loved each other."

Richard sat down beside her, his face worried.

"Kate what is it?"

"Richard I'm going to ask you this one last time, and I want the truth."

Richard held onto Adam looking at her, his eyes slightly concerned and uneasy.

"What?"

"That day…when I woke up and we were making love in the tent, when I didn't remember you and started acting funny and you had to remind me about everything. You said it happened a few times before…but not since. Why is that?"

Richard looked as though the biggest weight had been lifted off him. His eyes seemed relieved.

"Oh…"

Kate waited for an answer before Richard nervously smiled, before looking at her.

"I don't know…ever since you became one of us with Locke you would get confused every once and a while. Forget stuff…but once someone reminded you…it would just all come back."

"Don't you find that a little strange?"

"Kate, you fell from a moving chopper…you nearly died. I'm suspired you even lived. While I was taking care of you, laying in this very came tent…almost in a coma, I fell in love with you."

"But that doesn't explain how for three whole years I faintly remember another life. I had another child Richard…a girl."

Richard shook his head.

"You had a miscarriage, that's how I found you on the beach."

Kate's eyes welled up with tears.

"Richard…I saw the bomb."

Richard's expression froze.

"You what?"

"I swan underneath the falls today and looked for the bomb, it looks as if it's been taken apart. Exactly what happened back in 1977."

"How did you know…"

"Remember you took us there…with some other woman…her name was Ellen or something."

"Eloise?"

"Yes! You do remember!"

Richard slowly shook his head.

"Kate, Eloise used to be our leader back in the 1970's…how you know that is beyond me. She left the island shortly after 1977."

"But the bomb…"

Richard shook his head.

"My people once we buried it there tried to find a way to disable it. We nearly got ourselves killed doing so…the entire thing is still there. How in the Hell did you know…"

"Because you brought me there!"

Richard shook his head.

"Kate I didn't! I might be getting up there in age but my memory isn't going. You must of heard about it or seen maps or something."

"It's under one of the houses in the village."

"Then maybe you were in the basement and went down there my mistake, thought nothing of it…pushed it in the back of your mind."

"Stop lying to me!"

Adam began to cry, Richard tried to sooth him.

"Kate I'm not lying. I have no idea how you got down there or why you think I'm keeping something from you."

"Well maybe I did fall from the chopper, maybe I did join up with you guys five years ago. But what if my self-conscious caught up to me. Maybe mentally I was in 1977 and when the bomb went off I finally caught up to myself here."

Richard stood up, his eyes angry.

"I can't explain how you know about the bomb, your why you're acting this way. All I know is that five years ago while you're friends were being rescued I saved you! Me Kate! Nobody else! I brought you here and welcomed you and then protected and loved you. I've done everything for you! Why do you care so much about what might of happened! You're friends left you…I'm the one who loves you!"

Adam was crying even louder now as Richard paced back and forth rubbing his back.

Kate stood up, furious.

"Don't talk to me that way! I'm not stupid."

"Kate! You're acting crazy! No bomb ever went off! If it did there wouldn't be an island now!"

"But how does this explain how I remember everything! How!"

"I don't know! But I'm starting to think you're not happy here…that you rather be with the people who left you behind!"

"Don't say that!"

Richard then walked right over to Kate, his faced heated and his eyes darkened.

"I did everything for you! And if you want to leave then go! But you're not taking our son!"

"Richard!"

"No! It happened like this before! I'm not having it happen again!"

Before she could say another word Richard left the tent with Adam. Now alone Kate rubbed her face and began to softly cry. Why was everything spinning around her? Sitting on the edge of the bed Kate really couldn't explain how she knew everything she did. Or how she knew where the bomb was. She knew Richard was hiding something.

Sitting there, Kate remembered how everyone did in some way leave her. That it had been her own fault and how selfish she had been. Sitting there, Kate crossed her arms before taking a deep breath.

Whatever happened, happened. If the bomb had worked…she was here. Even if Richard knew this, he was just trying to protect her. This was where she had found happiness, this is where she finally found someone who loved her for who she was. Why was she trying to break away from it all? Feeling guilty, Kate swore to herself she would never go underneath the falls again.

Whatever Richard and Locke were talking about was their business. She didn't care anymore. She had a home now, and it was here. Thinking of Desmond's words she pushed them away. If this was all some after effect from the bomb, then it had brought her here. Nothing was wrong with that. She could see how scared Richard's eyes were. He just simply loved her, and wanted her with him.

Standing, Kate sniffled back the last of her tears before leaving the tent. She knew where Richard was.

Ten minutes later she was climbing up the steep hill that over looked the valley. It was a beautiful afternoon and a warm wind was in the air. Kate found Richard sitting on the hill looking out at the view with Adam in his lap. Kate felt her stomach twisting before taking a deep breath and walking over.

"Richard?"

He looked up at her before she sat down beside him. Adam was fast asleep. Smiling, she stared down at him.

"I'm sorry."

Richard looked over at her.

"What?"

"I'm sorry I didn't trust you. I should have…It's just…I know something happened, dream or no dream. Something brought me here and I just can't understand it."

"Kate if you think a bomb went off and then you landed up here that's fine…you can think whatever you want. I can't explain how you know certain things, but really what it comes down to is that I'm not lying…I never would. For the past five years you've been with me and that's all I know. I'm sorry I yelled…I just get upset whenever I think I know you're not happy."

"But I am."

"Then why keep this up about the bomb. I don't know if it did…but you seem convinced."

Kate shook her head.

"I can't explain it…only that if it did or didn't I know you're not lying. I'm here now…I have a husband who loves me, and a beautiful son. There's no more worries or regrets. You're my family now and I would never trade that for anything."

"But you still believe the bomb worked."

Kate shrugged.

"If it did you guys know nothing about it…and if it did then here I am. At least it brought me someplace nice."

Richard faintly smiled before brushing back Adam's thick black hair.

"I love you Kate, you know that right?"

Kate nodded.

"I know."

"And no matter what, I just want to protect you."

"I can protect myself Richard."

"Can you?"

They stared at each other before Kate took a deep breath.

"Tell me about Eloise."

Richard stared at her for a second before looking down at Adam.

"Eloise came to the island in the 1950's when she was just a teenager. By the time she was in her mid thirties she had became our leader. Mind you I didn't agree with everything she did…but she had a leveled head on her shoulders and she was smart."

"You loved her?"

Richard looked up

"I thought I did…even back when she first came to the island. But it really wasn't my place to fall in love and start relationships. So I stood back while a man named Charles Widmore became her love interest. It killed me to watch from afar as those two held each other or kissed. I hated Widmore…he was always too keen to jump the gun and not do what was right for the island. Then…back in 1977...well Eloise and I slept together a few times."

Kate saw how painful this was for him.

"I hadn't been with a woman in so long, and Eloise was different. Next thing I knew we were in love, but she wouldn't leave Widmore. I stood back when she announced she was pregnant and Charles stood back proudly…it made me sick."

"You?"

Richard nodded.

"That's right. She told me herself…I couldn't believe it. This was long before the problems pregnant women had on the island . It just hit me…for as long as I had lived on this island, I was going to have a child."

"What happened?"

"She left…before even Widmore. The truth came out before the baby was born and there was…well let's just say an argument. Things were never the same and I never saw Eloise again. Ben became in charge shortly after Widmore had his horrible run and that was that."

"You never saw the baby?"

Richard shook his head.

"I don't even know if their alive…I've tried hunting them down but Eloise is a very smart person…Ben even knew that. She wants to keep away."

"That's horrible."

Richard sighed before gently patting Adam's curled up body on his lap. Adam was sucking his thumb and nuzzled up against his father.

"I've shared plenty of heartache in my very long lifetime Kate. More then I can even explain. But the one thing I want you to know is that I don't know anything about the bomb. If I did I swear to you I would tell you."

"I know…it doesn't matter."

"But It does. I'm you're husband Kate, you need to trust me."

Kate shook her head.

"Whatever happened like you said happened. For whatever reason fate brought me here I'm with you and our son. I'm happy Richard…and I want to me with you until I die."

Richard looked at her slightly uneasy before lifting Adam up in his arms. Adam kept sleeping.

"So now what?"

Kate smiled before looking over at the baby, touching his face.

"We live, that's all, together until death do us part."

Kate leaned over, gently kissing Richard's face before standing up. Richard sat for a moment longer, looking off at the view and feeling horrible.


	23. What have you done?

For Kate Austen, she had finally found peace in her life.

The moment she kissed her husband on the hill that overlooked the valley, she understood finally that she shouldn't question what happened, as much as it didn't make sense. She could see in Richard's eyes he had lived through so many empty lonely years of pain alone with nothing but heartbreak. If he told her he didn't know anything about the bomb…then he must have been telling the truth. Deciding not to question, Kate believed one of two things happened.

Either everything she remembered for those past three years off the island really did happen. They were rescued and she had gone off to raise Aaron and Sydney alone before agreeing to come back and help the others. If by some unexplained way they really did all end up in 1977...then Jack had been right. The bomb had gone off and instead of dying or setting everything back…she woke up here. Maybe what she said was right. Maybe physically she had been on the island and by some strange way the bomb going off made her mentally catch up to where she was. She knew it was far fetched.

The other way was Richard and the others had been in fact telling the truth. She had been in the chopper right after the boat blew and then the fuel began to leak again…even faster. Kate could almost hear the screams and the whooshing sound of the chopper blades slowing as it began to tip. She could see Desmond reaching out for her, his eyes terrified before she fell. Freefalling, she hit the water with so much impact she had blacked out. If fate had taken place, then somehow she washed up on shore alive and that's where Richard found her. Barley alive and miscarrying the second baby she had gotten pregnant with by Desmond. Richard had taken her in and she survived. Nobody came looking for her and maybe…just maybe everyone had been rescued. She made her choice and like Locke became one of them…never leaving the island. That's when she saw Richard was special, and the only one who cared for her. Since then she had been living as his wife.

Whatever had happened, happened. It was over and here she was living a peaceful and happy life with a man who loved her and their child. She prayed it really had all been just a dream. She didn't know why she would question or want to get away from such a blessing of a life she had been given. This wasn't her second chance at life…it was her third.

So she decided to just stop thinking, and for once be happy.

Walking back to camp with Richard, she watched him holding the baby before putting her arm around his neck and drawing him in close.

"I love you."

She whispered.

He smiled back at her before Adam opened his big brown eyes and began to giggle.

Life then seemed to go by in a flash.

The others had finally decided there wasn't any threat left on the island. Nobody had come since, and Locke suspected ever would. They weren't scared anymore and decided the live life the way the island had wanted them to. Locke was a fearless leader and showed them that they shouldn't be wasting their time on such a special place. Instead they should just live.

They moved back to the village shortly within a month.

There Kate suspected she had the happiest years of her life.

Adam slowly began to grow and before they knew it he was talking up a storm and getting bigger. He was walking better now and the newest game had been to run away from them whenever they were outside. Adam was a beautiful child and looked exactly like Richard, even down to his dark eyes. Kate enjoyed being a mother and knew this was the last child she would ever have. Adam became the apple of everyone's eyes in the village, while Kate felt proud to have been so lucky.

Richard loved being a father and whenever he wasn't helping Locke out, or bringing people to the temple he was always with Adam who had fully attached himself to him. Kate always stood on the porch laughing, watching the two of them run around and play. This was a different side of Richard, who had always seemed so mysterious and drawn back. Whenever he was around Adam he didn't seem to care. He would swing him around, have him ride his back, or roll around in the grass with him.

Two women from their camp became pregnant and gave birth to perfectly healthy babies. Jacob had been right…they were starting over.

Time went on, and nothing happened. Just peace.

Kate felt madly in love with Richard now. The two made love nearly every night and laid awake in each other's arms until morning. She loved every part of him and counted herself lucky to be with him. Yet she still worried about what was going to happen to them. She hadn't wanted to bring it up and ruin things. Still…she noticed he still remained the same age as Adam got bigger and bigger. She didn't want her husband and live another day of pain, and hated Jacob for giving him this curse which at first started off as a gift.

Adam turned five, and was a bright eyed boy who Richard thought was brilliant. He loved going outside and playing, jumping in mud piles and exploring the jungle with his father. His hair was always shaggy and in his eyes and he loved to laugh. Kate meanwhile enjoyed her peaceful life at the village. She had a beautiful son, and a husband she was crazy about.

Almost every night she would sit with Richard on her front porch and watch the firebugs come out. There were children now among their people and new life. Everyone for once was happy.

Watching dusk settle in one evening, Richard and Kate watched a ten year old Adam play soccer with two friends of his who were three years younger. The children were laughing and running around. Richard squeezed Kate's hand as they watched, laughing at Adam who played in the distance.

"He's fast."

"Yeah like the wind."

Richard smirked looking at Kate.

"Are you sad he's the only one?"

Kate watched Adam for a moment and the last ten years of having him all played back within her mind in seconds. She had loved raising him. One memory that stuck out was when he was a little under a year and how Richard and Kate had bathed him in one of the streams. How the baby giggled as Richard playfully splashed Kate. She remembered when Adam was two and how he would throw himself on the ground and begin crying whenever Richard left his sight. She remembered him coloring when he was four in their living room and how Kate stood back watching him in wonder.

Now their son was ten, in just a few more years he wouldn't be a boy anymore. Kate felt a love so strong for her son it seemed dangerous. She knew she would die for him.

Kate sighed watching him.

"I would have had ten with you Richard…but if Adam is our only one, then that was meant to be."

"Ever wish you had a daughter, one that looked like you?"

Kate smiled at Richard.

"Naw, Adam is my child…and he's special. You can see that can't you?"

"Of course…having him has been the happiest time of my very long life."

"You're an amazing father."

Richard looked over, and smiled.

Kate remembered when Adam was still a baby and how she had woken up one night in their tent to see Richard kneeling beside the crib. Kate watched in silence as moonlight spilled through the tiny holes on the tent's sides. She saw Richard smiling and watching the sleeping baby before leaning over and kissing Adam's little hand.

She remembered when Adam was seven and how he had fallen while climbing a tree and how Richard had fixed up his scraped knee and gave him a chocolate bar to make him feel better. She remembered all those times on the beach, when he taught him how to swim and how to make things in the sand.

Richard smiled kissing Kate's hand.

"And you're an amazing mother."

Kate smiled at Richard watching her son, feeling very proud and the happiest she had ever been.

She then thought of Sydney for a second, She would have been fifteen now.

Just then Adam ran over, huffing and out of breath. His bangs in his eyes while smiling.

"Mom! Dad! Watch me kick a goal!"

They watched, and felt that dangerous overwhelming love for their son again.

That night while Kate was brushing her hair in front of her vanity, Richard sat up in bed reading. Kate paused before leaning in close to the mirror and looking at her reflection.

"Richard?"

Richard looked up from behind his glasses.

"Yeah?"

"Do you see any lines on me…"

Richard smiled before going back down to his book.

"None, you're perfect."

Kate meanwhile stared at the mirror slightly confused. That night as she curled up in bed with Richard, he put his arms around her and the two of them laid in the darkness. Staring up at the ceiling, Kate began to wonder why now at the age of thirty-seven, she still looked as though she hadn't aged a day.

The truth would finally come out at Adam's 17th birthday.

Time on the island seemed to have gone by in just the blink of an eye. Adam was now slowly growing into a handsome young man. Kate still couldn't believe Richard and her only son was now a teenager. Adam grew tall, and had a very handsome and direct face. His eyebrows were thick, and his hair was a dark blackish brown. He was becoming taller then both Richard and Kate, and slowly began building muscle. Kate often joked that she was scared to see what would happen of the two of them tried to ground him after he past six feet.

Still, Adam was a gentle kind young man who Kate loved with all her heart. He was so much like his father. He was friendly and a natural leader. Most of his friends were a few years younger but he always seemed to have a sense of adventure. He loved exploring the island, and swimming in the ocean. Richard and Kate had noticed he even caught the interest of Cindy's daughter Lee. Kate loved waking up every morning and having breakfast with Adam. The two would sit at the kitchen table as he went on and on about how he would help his father out and then go hiking up the hills. Adam was full of live and somehow always seemed to look up and be thankful for whatever life gave him. He always joked around and seemed very easy going as he stood out with his own certain way about him. He took so much after Richard it wasn't even funny. Adam loved the island and made Kate proud he was her son.

But Kate began to notice something.

Everyone at the camp was slowly getting older. She saw laugh lines and wrinkles spread across her friends' faces as their children grew older. She saw Locke was getting older and the color of his eyebrows were now gray. Most of the energy now was the new generation of children. Almost every night Kate would look at herself closely in the mirror, trying to see the slightest change.

But there wasn't.

Just a few months ago she smelled something odd in the shampoo bottle she was using/ She noticed a few gray hairs coming in her head…but that was it. For a woman who was slowly climbing towards fifty, she still looked almost exactly the same. Richard shrugged it off, saying it was nothing but good genes. That the island was better for everyone and maybe that was the reason she was aging so well. But as soon as Kate began sneaking in a different shampoo each night she noticed the gray finally washing out and her hair returning to the dark brown it used to be.

Her face and body weren't changing at all. Richard and her stayed exactly the same.

The night before Adam's 17th birthday, as Kate walked along the beach it finally hit her all at once. How could she have been so stupid? Freezing, she drew in a quick breath as her eyes widened.

Richard would never…he promised.

That's when she marched home. The village now looked perfectly. The lush green lawns all nicely cut. Fruit growing from trees, and young children with sparklers running around laughing.

On her way to the house she saw Adam and Lee sitting by one of the fire places.

"Hi mom!"

Kate looked over at her handsome son and felt her heart begin to thump harder. Forcing a smile she returned a wave before going straight into the house.

"RICHARD!"

Richard was in the living room looking over maps. Dressed in slacks and his dark navy blue shirt he looked exactly the same way she first laid eyes on him nearly twenty years ago. Richard took his glasses off and looked up at her concerned.

"Kate what's wrong?"

Kate grabbed a small mirror that sat on one of the book shelf's and brought it over to Richard.

"Why don't I look forty-four?"

Richard raised an eyebrow looking at the mirror.

"Kate what are you…"

"Answer the question Richard! Why are some of the women who are younger then me getting gray hair and wrinkles? Why do I look exactly the same!"

Richard stared up at her before taking a deep breath.

"Because you'll always be this way."

Kate dropped the mirror, shattering on the wood floor by her feet. Her mouth opened but no words came out. Richard stared up at her before sighing.

"You were dying when you gave birth to Adam, right in my own arms…I couldn't loose you so I brought you to Jacob."

Kate's hand went to her mouth, she felt the room begin to spin.

"What did you do Richard?"

"I did it for you Kate, he promised me nothing would happen and there you were dying…I couldn't be about you so he did what he did to me. It's a gift Kate can't you see? We'll never be alone ever again…we'll be together."

Kate shook her head.

"No…you promised me you wouldn't do this. You knew I didn't want it!"

"But Kate you would of died…"

"I would of rather died! I don't wanna live forever Richard!"

"But you won't be alone, it will be the two of us. We'll be together on this island forever."

Kate stepped back, feeling tears build behind her eyes.

"What about Adam? We're just going to watch our son grow old and die?"

"We could make him like us…maybe that girl Lee…"

"NO!"

Richard looked at her as Kate began to shake all over.

"Don't you dare touch him! You hear me! You fucking monster! Don't ever touch him!"

"Kate…"

But before he could say another word Kate ran out the door, tears spinning down her cheeks. Running towards the campfire, Adam stood up his eyes concerned.

"Mom what's wrong?"

"Come on Adam! Let's go!"

Before he could say another word, Kate grabbed his hand and pulled him away. Lee stood back confused as did the others. Locke meanwhile sat back watching, slowly shaking his head.

"Mom what's wrong?"

Adam asked as Kate ran with him into the darkness of the jungle. She tried to control her tears but couldn't seem to stop. Holding hands with her tall son, they went down the hill and into the jungle without even a torch.

"Mom stop!"

"Come on Adam!"

They kept running for the next fifteen or so minutes before stopping at the beach. The moon was out and it looked beautiful. Stopping, in the sugar colored sand Kate gasped for breath while Adam stood beside her breathing heavy and looking around.

"Mom why are we on the beach? What happened?"

Kate looked up at Adam, trying her hardest not to cry.

"Adam we need to leave this island."

"What?!"

"We need to find some way to leave, you're father did a horrible thing…he isn't the man you think he is."

"Mom what are you talking about?"

Just then Kate froze.

"Shhhh!"

Adam and Kate looked out into the darkness of the ocean as a small green blinking light in the distance flashed. It was far away…but Kate still saw it.

"Mom what is it?"

"Shhhh!"

Her eyes widened before a smile spread across her face.

"It's a boat."

Adam turned, completely shocked and looked at his mother.


	24. Truth in the storm

"Mom?"

"Shhhh!"

Adam stood on the windy beach at night with his mother completely confused and scared. For a boy who would turn seventeen tomorrow, he looked more like a twenty-five year old. He was build tall, and his face was very handsome and set like his father's. A stronger breeze screamed by, making Adam's hair blow away from his eyes that watched the darkened ocean. The only light came from the moon…and that green blinking thing in the distance.

"Mom what is…"

"Shhhh! Adam!"

Kate stood intensely watching water as the green light kept blinking. It was hard to tell, but she could see off in the distance there was a boat…a big one much like a freighter. Kate watched it, by tomorrow it would reach land. She knew it was fate working at this exact moment.

A smile spread across Kate's face.

"Their coming…"

Adam stared at his mother with a shocked and beyond worried expression. He had heard about life off the island his entire life and had never shared any interest in ever leaving his home. He was still very young, but as his father often remarked had a good head on his shoulders. He understood that the island was special and most of the time worked in very mysterious ways. He understood his parents were special, but didn't fully understand why and how this unseen force Jacob worked. All he knew was that this was his home and that he loved it here. In fact often whenever he was drifting off to sleep, he thought of even dying here. He didn't care about what the world had to offer him. He was in the most beautiful and wonder place he could ever dream about. He was popular, and slowly falling in love with Lee. He didn't question, he simply lived a very happy go lucky life.

Standing here on the beach, the moonlight faintly reflecting on the black surface of the water, the only sounds Adam heard were the waves crashing against the shore and the wind. He looked out in the distance and saw the green light and the outline of the boat. Right away he knew it meant trouble.

At that exact moment Richard stood in the doorway of Adam's darkened bedroom. It had changed a great deal over the years they had finally settled down here again, and staring in Richard felt a slight feeling of comfort thinking of his son.

Adam's room was very plain now that he was getting older. A single bed, a dresser, and a desk where Richard had given Adam five ships in bottles he had worked on long before he was even born. Standing there with his arms crossed he sighed deeply. He knew Kate was furious and most likely would never forgive him. Standing there, Richard remembered the last seventeen years in a quick flash. He remembered all those nights of kneeling near Adam's crib and watching the baby sleep before crawling into bed beside Kate and softly whispering how much he loved her. He remembered teaching Adam how to walk near the temples, how he loved tickling his chubby belly and making him laugh. He remembered all those nights of sitting up on the hill with Kate and watching the stars.

He had to explain himself. He could die…so couldn't she. He just had to have her know that he couldn't loose her when she had Adam. That he didn't think he could stand it and might have killed himself leaving Adam alone. He knew it was selfish but he needed her, he loved her so much it hurt. He wanted to let her know that he never wanted to hurt her. That all those long years alone and finally gotten to him. That nearly twenty years ago he remembered making love with Kate in the tent by the beach and how suddenly something felt very different. The confused expression in her eyes and how strange it all seemed. As if she wasn't fully all there until just then. He remembered finding her body washed up on shore and how much blood there was. How he carried her, telling Jacob he promised to take care of her. He remembered how quickly he had fallen in love with her, desperate to find somebody to love. He hated being alone so much, and after so many years of watching everyone grow old and die he didn't think he could stand another second of heartbreak. He knew the moment he laid eyes on Kate she was special.

He needed to tell her this. That he had just been scared. That he understood she didn't want to spent forever with him on this island. As much as Richard wanted to, he knew where Kate was coming from and would explain everything. It just ached his heart so badly to know that more then likely Jacob would never let him take his own life. He had tried several times before and each time Jacob had stopped him telling him it wasn't time yet. He only hoped he wouldn't stop with Kate. But the thought of going on after her and their son was dead seemed horrible. He truly didn't know if he could go on without her.

Just then thunder sounded and it began to pour out. Raindrops hit the windows and poured on the roof. Leaving out the front door, Richard watched as everyone scrambled to get inside. He saw the fires going out. That's when he noticed Lee all alone, running towards her house. Running out in the rain he stopped her.

"Lee!"

She turned.

"Where's Adam? Is he with you?"

"No, his mom dragged him off into the jungle about ten minutes ago, she seemed real upset."

The rain poured down on them, making Lee's brown hair hang in her eyes. Richard blinked away the water before nodding.

"Which direction did they go in?"

Lee pointed.

Back at the beach, Kate and Adam took shelters under one of the larger palm trees. Kate's eyes still didn't leave the ocean where the light was.

"Mom we should get back…"

Kate acted as if she hadn't heard him. Adam waited, biting the bottom of his lip when Richard came from the jungle soaking wet.

"Kate! Adam!"

Kate's eyes narrowed before she forced Adam behind her.

"Mom what's wrong?"

"Stay behind me."

"But mom…"

"Do what I say!"

She snapped. Richard slowly walked over, his hands up in defense.

"Kate, what are you doing out here?"

"Stay away from me you monster!"

Adam looked between his parents confused. Richard shook his head.

"Kate please let me explain."

"You've done enough! When did you expect me to find out? When Adam was sixty and I still had brown hair? Why did you lie to me!"

"I was waiting to tell you Kate! I knew how you would react!"

"I told you Richard! I told you I never wanted to be like you! I don't wanna live forever!"

Adam stared at his parents.

"Kate you can still die! So can't I! We'll go to Jacob…"

"I've had enough of Jacob! I've had enough with the lies and the pretending! How could you Richard? I put all my trust into you and I loved you…"

"Why do you think I even did this? You were dying in my arms Kate! I couldn't loose you…not after…"

"After all the other women who have left you or died? You're sick Richard…you're just a lonely freak that works for this island…my people were right, you're nothing but scum!"

"I saved you're life! I loved you! That's more then you're friends can say!"

"Then what about that?"

Kate pointed as Richard squinted past the falling rain. That's when he saw the blinking light and froze. Kate walked up to him, her entire body soaked.

"It's a boat Richard! After all this time a boat! Adam and I are getting on it and leaving you alone on this God forsaken island!"

"Mom!"

Richard just stared down at her.

"Then what? You don't know how to die…you'll live forever all alone like I did. You'll watch our son grow old and then you'll be all alone. I told you I had to make a choice Kate…it isn't forever, I swear to you…"

"Then why are you still here?"

"Because every time I did try to kill myself Jacob stopped me, telling me it wasn't time. That I had to live for something."

"And what's that?"

"You Kate…I had to live for you."

Kate just stared up at him before Richard took her by the shoulders.

"I love you Kate, and I couldn't loose you. I promise I would never put you through the kind of pain I've felt for so long. I've only done what I thought was best for you…"

"What did you mean by…you could die…"

"Not in front of Adam."

"Tell me Richard or so help me God me and Adam will start swimming for the boat."

Richard stared at her before pointing to his chest.

"Jacob said the only way I can die is through the heart…it stops beating, I stop living."

"Then after all these years of heartache you've never tried to kill yourself?"

"I have, plenty of times, but like I said Jacob stops me."

"Then how do you know it can work?"

"Jesus Kate! I'm sick and tried of this! I have been the only one who has been there for you! There is nobody else! It seems as though every couple of years once you get happy you get bored and then you try to find someway to hate me and leave…where will you go Kate? Where?"

Before she could say another word as the two stood in the pouring rain with Adam watching, a bright flare went off over the boat, lighting up the sky.

Richard and Kate turned watching it as the flare sparkled into the night. Kate heard distant humming somewhere over the lapping waves. Richard's grip became tighter on her arms.

"Their coming…"

Richard then looked over Kate's shoulder and motioned for Adam who stood underneath the palm tree, his bangs hanging in his face.

"Come on Adam."

Kate grabbed his arm.

"Where are you going?"

"To warn the others, we're going to the temple."

"But it could be my people."

Richard looked down at her, his eyes angry.

"Kate, it's been nearly twenty years…I don't think anyone is looking for you anymore."

Adam walked over, standing behind Richard. He looked at Kate confused and ashamed.

"But it could be…

"It could be anyone, maybe Widmore. We need to go now!"

"But…"

Richard turned, gritting his teeth. Kate had never seen him so furious as the rain poured down on them.

"I have saved you're life for the last time…if you can't see I did this for you then you're blind. I'm taking my son and we're going to the temple…wait and see who's coming if you like…I don't care anymore."

"Richard!"

But before she could say another word Richard and Adam were walking away. Standing on the beach, Kate felt tears begin to roll down her face. Richard was right. She had been her happiest here. He had protected her and risked everything to save her. Yet…she always tried to find a double side. Thinking of what Richard did she stared at her unaged hands and felt sick. What if she really did go on to live forever. What if that stuff Richard said about the heart wasn't true. What if the two of them lived together until the end of time? She loved Richard, but living on that long…watching Adam grow old and die seemed heartbreaking. She wasn't strong as Richard and knew she wouldn't be able to do it. Deep down inside she wished he had let her die on the beach that night she had Adam.

Pushing away the tears she stared at the boat and knew what Richard meant.

Someone was coming, but it wasn't good.

Running after them, she caught up right before they disappeared into the tree line.

"Richard!"

Richard stopped, the rain pouring down on the trees around them. Kate stood there for a second before looking at Adam and him. That's when she ran over and hugged Richard as hard as she could.

"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry!"

Richard said nothing for a moment as Adam watched. Finally he gently rubbed her back and pulled back.

"Let's go."

Without saying another word the three of them raced towards the temple to warn the others.


	25. Till the end of time

In just the matter of an hour everyone was rushing into the darkened jungle towards the temple. Locke had recharged the fences and left the village completely deserted. Within moments of everyone leaving the place looked like a ghost town. Leading the pack after Richard's warning, Locke knew torches wouldn't light in the rain so he took as many lanterns that they had and brought them down the hidden trails. Getting everyone inside, he stared at Richard and Kate who stood at the stone opening as rain poured down on them.

"Who do you think they are?"

"I don't know…it's been nearly twenty years since someone has tried to reach the island."

"Ben? Widmore?"

"I don't know…but they knew exactly where to look and their going to reach shore before dawn."

"Jacob will protect us, we just need to stay in the temple."

Just then Adam came out behind Locke, holding a lantern, his eyes worried.

"Has anyone seen Lee? Her mother is looking everywhere."

"Wasn't she with us?"

Adam shook his head before Richard and Kate exchanged a look.

Just then what looked to be a flare went shooting up in the night sky. A perfect silver firework appeared and then quickly fizzled away from the downpour of rain. Kate's eyes lit up by the light for a moment before her hand slowly slid into Richard's. She was scared.

Just then a boy who was three or so years younger then Adam by the name of Bobbie came walking over to the opening, a lantern in his hand as well.

"Adam?"

He turned.

"Lee went looking for you after you and your mom took off earlier. She said she was going to check the beaches…"

Adam's eyes widened.

"Oh my God…she's out there."

"Adam wait!"

But before any of them could grab him Adam threw down his lantern in a shatter and went running off into the jungle. Kate watched helplessly.

"Adam!"

"I'll get him…"

Richard started before Kate followed.

"I'm going with you!"

Locke and Bobbie watched before closing the temple door.

Richard and Kate raced through the jungle without any torches or lanterns. It was pitch black and Kate could barley make out Richard's back who was just running three or so feet ahead of her. Holding out her hands, she ran into tree branches and limbs that slapped her in the face. Stumbling twice, she felt her heart begin to race in panic. What if these people were here to harm them?

"Adam!"

She yelled out again. Moments later Richard yelled as well. Kate could tell from his horsed yells that he was just as filled with panic and worry as she was. Richard adored his son, and by the pace he was running at she knew he was scared.

"Adam! Wait!"

They kept running when another firework in the sky went off. Kate and Richard stopped for a second, staring up at the sky as it fizzed out and rain continued to fall on them. Just then the noise came.

Kate froze beside Richard as it grew louder. Within seconds the trees began to fall, as though being plowed through.

"The monster…the black smoke."

Kate thought. Just then Richard grabbed her hand and forced her down near a small clearing within the trees. Both pressed their bodies against it as Richard put his hand over Kate's mouth to block a scream. The creature past by them, flashing lights before moving on. Kate felt a single tear roll down her face.

"Adam…"

She softly whispered as Richard removed his hand.

"Come on let's go!"

Richard grabbed her as they kept running in the direction of the beach. Frantic, and scared out of her mind, Kate remembered that early morning on the beach so many years ago when she stood in the surf and miscarried Desmond's baby. The memory was so painful it hurt.

Then they broke out of the clearing and stopped dead in their tracks. They were at one of the bays, waves crashed on the rocks as thunder sounded in the distance. Kate and Richard stood there as the rain poured down on them, franticly looking for their son.

Kate squinted, trying to look for the lights again on the water. Instead all she saw was darkness.

"I don't understand…where is he?"

Kate said, before Richard squeezed her hand.

"Kate?"

Kate turned towards him, scared out of her mind. Facing him she saw something she hadn't seen for a long time in his eyes.

Pain.

Richard moved in close, pressing his forehead against hers.

"Richard what are you…"

Instead he simply held her hands tight, pressing up against her as the rain fell down on them.

"Don't worry about Adam, he'll show up…"

"Richard?"

Just then the sound of a gunshot filled the air over the thunder. Kate jumped and cried out in suspire before her eyes looked into Richards's and they grew large.

"No…"

A blood stain appeared on Richard's dark shirt, slowly getting bigger and bigger…right where his heart was.

"Richard!"

He held her hands tighter, slightly smiling.

"I'll love you Kate…till the end of time."

With that his body simply collapsed in her arms. Slowly he fell, as Kate cried out struggling to hold him. He fell into the wet sand, his beautiful brown eyes now closed. Kate felt her entire body go numb as she stared down at the blood. Rain softly hit Richard's pale face.

"No…"

Kate said, slowly shaking her head as she held him.

"Richard?"

He laid still. Just then the sound of a branch snapped, making Kate look up, frightened and completely alone.

Three figures appeared from the jungle, all carrying rifles. They walked in slowly and it finally dawned on Kate. Richard had heard them…if he hadn't stood in front of her she would of gotten shot.

They finally appeared, all men.

Kate stared up and saw one of them had a gun pointed to Adam who looked scared to death.

"Adam!"

"Freeze!"

Kate kneeled beside Richard's body as the figures walked close. Right away panic leaped into her. She shook Richard.

"Richard please…their coming…"

The thunder sounded again, causing Kate's ears to ring. Kate clutched onto Richard's body before snapping her eyes shut.

"Please God…please…"

Then…darkness.


	26. Thank you for flying Oceanic airlines

Kate's eyes snapped open.

"Miss, you would like something else?"

Kate suddenly felt everything rush back at her all at once. She nearly slammed backwards into her seat before her eyes widened and looked around.

She was on an airplane.

In just a matter of seconds everything fell together perfectly. The past twenty or so years she shared with Richard and the others on the island past through her in just the blink of an eye. None of that happened. Adam never existed, or did her marriage and love with Richard. She remembered the bomb going off and a blinding light…then within seconds a life that could of happened played through her mind. She was now back to reality, she was sitting on 815.

And she was in handcuffs.

The marshal gave a cocky grin to the stewardess.

"No babe, that will be all."

The woman gave a pleasant smile before moving down the ail. Kate took a second, still trying to have her mind adjust on what had happened. The last thing she remembered was running with Sawyer, then the light. Just before her eyes before she opened them and found herself sitting here she remembered twenty years worth of memories. She had been living on the island, forgotten and the others had taken her in. She had fallen in love with Richard and he had risked so much for her. They had a son…Adam, and he was beautiful.

She was like Richard, she would never age. Then the boat and the storm happened…she saw the green flashing light on the water. Adam had taken off and they ran through the jungle to find him. She remembered standing on the beach and the sound of the gunshot before Richard fell. She remembered what he said to her.

"I'll love you Kate…till the end of time."

She remembered the figures walking from the woods, how they had guns and were approaching her. She remembered before everything went black she saw Richard slowly turning into a skeleton before her very eyes. Years upon years melting away.

She remembered how she was praying for them to kill her as well.

Now here she was. She jerked upward, causing her cuffs to dig into her wrists. Hissing out in pain, Kate felt her heart racing in her chest. The marshal smiled.

"Easy there, don't wanna hurt those pretty little hands of yours."

Kate tried to look around, maybe she would see someone…anyone. Jack? Sawyer? Sun and Jin? Would they remember like her?

Just then she heard over the intercom.

"Attention all passengers, we will be landing shortly in Los Angeles in the next ten minuets. The captain wishes you fasten your safety belts and remain in your seats…thank you."

Kate's eyes went to the window.

She saw the city below.

"We're landing?"

"That's right sweetheart, better think of one Hell of a story for them to believe."

Kate felt tears begin to build behind her eyes. She couldn't believe it.

"We're going to land…we made it?!"

The marshal gave her a funny look.

"What? Thought we were going to crash or something?"

Kate sat back in her seat before laughing. Tilting back her head she shut her eyes and couldn't help but feel happy. After what seemed like a lifetime or utter heartache, she was fee. It had worked…they were alive.


	27. Never forget

"Come on sweetheart, no need to stall."

Kate desperately wanted to see one of her friends. She recognized several passengers while moving down the ail, before the marshal informed one of the stewardess that they would take the back exit due to Kate's restraints. Shoving Kate along, she stepped out into the blinding sunlight and squinted before heading down the steps.

She had never seen something so beautiful before in her entire life.

There was Los Angeles, standing before her.

Jack had been right.

Kate smiled.

"I wouldn't be smiling if I were you…your on your way to a nice long haul in prison."

"Excuse me sir?"

A voice came from Kate's left ear, making her freeze in her tracks and gasp. The marshal stopped before Kate and him turned.

Richard stood there, wearing a black suit.

"Edward Mars?"

Kate stood there speechless, staring at him as he walked over. It seemed as though it had been years since the last time she looked at him. Right away her heart slowly began to ache. Now looking at him, she thought of how selfish she was. How she would of really spent eternity beside him. Did everything she saw within the blink of an eye happen? She didn't know.

"Yes? You who may you be?"

"Lt. Richard Alpert head of national security."

Kate saw Mars blink before Richard held up his badge.

"What's this all about?"

"I have a full pardon here…from the US supreme court on a Kate Anne Austen."

"A what?!"

"The paperwork is right here, I was sent to inform you in person the moment you landed."

Kate felt as if she was going to faint as Mars grabbed the paperwork and began reading it over in disbelief. Kate's eyes drifted up over to Richard before he quickly winked at her. Right away Kate knew…

He remembered her.

"Diane Austen signed this."

"She came to the FBI just hours ago claming her second husband beat her and had raped her on several occasions. Kate was just protecting her, as for the rest of her track record the supreme court rules her a full pardon. She will have to show up to court in three weeks…but besides that all matters are taken care of."

"The hell they are!"

Right away Mars began going off on Richard who simply listened with a very calm and amused look on his face. Mars took his cell phone out and began making calls as Richard slowly walked over.

"Richard?"

"Hello Kate, I take it you had a safe flight."

"Oh my God…Richard…"

His hands went over, gently touching her sore wrists that were red from the cuffs. Smiling at her, their eyes locked.

"Did it happen Richard…did everything happen?"

"You saw a life that could of happened. But the end result on the island always ended the same way. Jack and you guys changed that. There's a balance now…you changed your destiny."

"But everything that happened…Adam…"

Richard smiled as Mars paced back and forth screaming into his cell phone.

"He doesn't exist Kate…he's never been born."

Kate couldn't control the tears that were now rolling down her face.

"But…"

Richard touched the side of her face, wiping away a tear with his thumb.

"Your alive Kate, so isn't everyone else…look."

Richard pointed to the glassed in hallway as the passengers slowly made their way into the airport. She could clearly see some people. Eko, Libby, Ana Lucia, Boone, Shannon, and Charlie. They all walked by, carrying their bags undisturbed and unaware Kate was watching them.

Her eyes filled with more tears.

"Their alive…"

"And their life's will now be happy…you gave them all the greatest gift of all…life."

"But…"

"Don't worry about them, it's now up to them if they want to change and keep going. The only thing that matters if that you all gave them a second chance."

Kate watched her friends disappear into the airport.

"Sydney?"

Kate thought of her beautiful daughter, Richard simply shook his head.

"She doesn't exist either."

Kate bit down on her bottom lip trying to control herself before Mars walked over, his face bright red and outraged.

"This isn't the last of this! You hear me!"

"I'll drive Kate from here…thanks Mars."

Mars looked at Richard fuming, before staring at Kate.

"This isn't the last of it…remember that!"

Turning, he marched away. Richard dryly laughed watching him go. Turning back to Kate, he produced a key from his pocket and undid her cuffs.

"You're free now Kate."

Kate rubbed her sore wrists looking at him.

"I am?"

Richard nodded.

"It's now up to you to live your life."

"But the island…"

"Well let's just say since the bomb happened, we've changed a few things."

"Hello Kate."

Kate saw Locke walking over, dressed nicely and walking.

"John?"

Locke smiled.

"I take it everything went as planned."

Kate looked at him, unable to even think.

"But…"

"I never was on flight 815...let's just say when the bomb went off I was taken to a wonderful and mysterious place that badly needed a leader."

"But Ben…"

"I wouldn't worry about him. This was my destiny…I belong there Kate. Everything is now unwritten and undone. I'm going to make sure nobody ever finds it again…and that the people living there can finally find peace."

"You remember then?"

"Oh yes…it's been a hard struggle to finally get here, but it's all finished."

"Kate!"

Kate turned.

Sayid, Hurley, Sawyer, and Jack were running towards them. The moment she saw them she burst into fresh tears. They all remembered, they knew what had happened.

Before she could say another word they all nearly tackled there. Laughing she gathered all her friends in her arms.

"It worked! It worked!"

Hurley said laughing. Kate held onto them smiling through her tears.

"I did…"

Jack stared at her before grabbing her and lifting her off the ground. Holding him tight, Kate laughed and kissed his cheek. Sawyer hugged her as well before his name was called.

"James?"

Sawyer froze.

Juliet stood beside Locke, a slight smile across her face. Sawyer's eyes widened before he ran over.

"JULIET!"

Grabbing her, he kissed her as hard as he could, laughing through his tears. Juliet laughed holding onto him.

"How did you survive?!"

"I don't know…one second I was at the bottom of that shaft trying to hit that stupid bomb with a rock…next thing I know I'm in this nice sundress riding to the airport with Richard and Locke."

Sawyer laughed, holding her and kissing the top of her head.

Sayid stared at Richard and Locke, a smile on his face.

"How come we all remember."

"Because fate wanted it that way…you changed everything…now you all have a second chance."

Locke said.

Sayid then looked up at the airport.

"The others?"

"Whoever wasn't there when the bomb went off will never remember."

"Claire?"

"Very much pregnant…her mother is waiting for her at the gate."

"Charlie?"

"Grabbing his luggage at this exact moment…in fact I think he's helping a pretty blond pregnant woman lift her bags…who knows. "

"Dude I'm on it…I need to pretend to be one of his fans and convince him to stop with the hard partying."

They all laughed as Hurley smiled.

"Hurley…I think Charlie will be okay."

"Really?"

Locke nodded.

"In fact I think everyone will be okay…they all lived for a reason."

Jack stared up at the airport.

"Still…I want to see my sister."

Locke smiled.

"And you should. This is your second chance people…make sure it counts."

Sayid smiled.

"I think before I go I'll pay a visit to Boone and Shannon…I just want to see them."

"I think that would be nice."

Hurley smiled.

"Yeah…I wanna say hello to Libby. She won't know who I am…but at least I can see her."

Hurley smiled, shifting his feet as Sawyer kept kissing Juliet.

"The island?"

"Undisturbed…we have ourselves a new leader, who will make sure it's never going to be found again."

Richard said as Locke smiled proudly.

"Amen to that Locke, way to go."

Sawyer said smiling before looking down at Juliet.

"Say…how about we visit my sister and her son? I think she would be real happy to see me."

Sawyer smiled.

"And I sure would like to meet her."

Kissing again, Kate watched and couldn't help but feel so overjoyed she could hardly stand it.

"Will we ever see each other again?"

"Someday…I'm sure of it."

"Then…that's it?"

Locke smiled.

"That's it. Live your life's…and never forget."

Hurley looked at everyone, slightly uneasy.

"Listen…I'm not really good with goodbyes, and I don't wanna miss Charlie and Libby…but listen you all know where to find me. I'm buying dinner."

Everyone laughed before Sayid clapped Hurley on the shoulder.

"Sounds like a fine idea, I'll join you."

The two of them headed back to the airport quickly. Sawyer, holding Juliet tightly looked at Kate and smiled.

"See you later freckles."

Kate smiled before looking at Juliet.

"Thank you."

Juliet smiled.

"You're very welcome Kate."

With that they turned and began walking away together.

Locke then smiled before shaking Kate and Jack's hands.

"So your going back?

"It's my home now…where I can finally find peace. I'll never forget you all…"

"Thanks John…we'll never forget either."

John smiled before heading towards the car.

"No…I don't think you will."

All that remained was Jack, Kate, and Richard.

Jack turned towards Kate, trying his hardest to find the right words.

"Kate…"

Kate leaned over before softly kissing his cheek and leaning in close.

"Go say hello to your sister…and go live your life. You deserve it."

"Kate…"

She shook her head.

"Thank you…"

Kissing him again, Jack held onto her tightly trying to control his own tears before nodding. Kissing her back, Jack wiped his eyes.

"I'll love you Kate…I always will."

Within seconds Kate and Richard watched Jack slowly walk back to the airport. Kate sniffled in watching him.

"We he be okay?"

"He'll find his own happiness…I suppose there's a woman…a very special woman who will be entering his life again shortly…"

"Really?"

"Achara. They haven't spoken in a very long time…but she'll be arriving to the states soon to look for him."

"Will he be happy?"

"I think much like Locke he's finally let himself go from the guilt of his father. He knows he loved him…and he knows he was the reason who you'll all here. He'll live the rest of his life a very happy man."

Kate smiled.

"That's good."

Kate watched Jack disappear before looking up at Richard, tears falling from her eyes.

"I have a favor to ask…"

"Anything Kate."

"I need to see someone."


	28. I'll see you in another life brother

Nearly one week after Oceanic 815 safely landed in Los Angeles, Kate and Richard sat on a beautiful beach in the Philippines. It was a windily morning, and Kate had a teal silk scarf tied in her hair. Sitting beside Richard the two watched a small family just a few feet away.

Kate felt her heart thud in her chest.

It was a husband and wife, and their two small children. One a boy…the other a girl.

The wind blew even stronger, causing the red ball the two children were playing with to roll over to Kate and Richard. The little girl, who was truly beautiful in every sense of the way giggled and made her way over. Kate guessed she was no older then two.

Kate smiled as the ball stopped just a few inches away from her. Picking it up she handed it to the little girl who blushed. Her father walked over, dressed in a button down shirt and pants. Smiling, his hair blew back in the wind.

"Come on love!"

The little girl smiled before running back to her brother and mother who were sitting on a blanket having lunch. The man walked over to Kate and Richard, a handsome smile across his face.

"Sorry about that."

Kate smiled looking up at him.

"Is that your daughter?"

The man looked back at the little girl who bounced the ball while walking over to the blanket. His eyes seemed proud.

"Yeah, she'll be three in another few months."

"She's beautiful."

The man smiled, his eyes almost sparking down at Kate.

"Thank you."

Kate and him stared at each other before the man gave a warn and friendly smile.

"Kate sure is the apple of my eye."

Richard eyed Kate before raising an eyebrow.

"Your daughter name is Kate?"

The man put his hands on his hips before looking back at his family.

"Yeah…I always liked the name for some reason."

Kate stared up at the man, fighting everything to hold back. Smiling, she stared back at his family and saw how happy he was.

"Well, hope you have a good afternoon."

The man began to turn before Kate forced a smile.

"See you in another life brother."

The man paused for a second, looking down at Kate and Richard before slowly smiling. He stared at Kate before turning around and heading back to his wife and children. Watching them, Kate saw the man play with his daughter and son, chasing and tickling them as the wife laughed and then wrapped her arms around his shoulders and brought him in for a kiss.

Kate sighed, they were complete strangers.

"You okay?"

Kate took a second before looking back at Richard and slowly nodding.

"Yeah…I'm fine."

Richard's hand found Kate's and gently squeezed it. Kate sniffled in before looking at the man one last time.

"Good bye Desmond…I'll always love you."


	29. What Heaven must be like

"Kate…open your eyes."

Kate's eyelids slowly fluttered open as she stared up at the perfectly blue cloudless sky. Overhead tropical birds circled, crying out against the wound of the wind and the waves crashing up against the shore. Feeling the warmth of the sun, Kate lazily smiled before turning slightly on her side.

Richard laid there, a smile on his face.

"Morning."

Kate smiled before hiking herself up on one elbow and leaning over. Gently kissing him, Kate smiled through the kiss before looking out at the crystal clear water.

It was beautiful.

The wind blew, making the palm trees behind them slowly rock back and forth.

Kate was home.

The last few months Kate had tied up all loose ends and had finally made her choice. Claire had decided to keep her baby which was a little boy named Aaron. She was currently living with her mother raising him and seemed very happy. She didn't remember Kate, nor anything else. But Jack was part of her life now. Claire's mother and him had broke the news of their father and both had become very close now. Strangers still, yet family.

Charlie was in rehab and trying to get clean. His brother had met up with him and his band was in the middle of a comeback album. Hurley had met him at the airport claiming to be a huge fan and funded the band's return to the studio to start recording.

As far as she knew Boone and Shannon were back in the states. She hadn't really talked to Sayid, but he claimed that both were living together and trying to pick up the pieces of their life's, despite but Boone's mother thought. Sayid said his heart nearly broke when he saw Shannon, yet felt better she was alive and safe. He was back home now with the love of his life. Happy and at peace.

She didn't know about Eko, or Ana Lucia. But Hurley was seeing Libby, who had decided to have coffee with the friendly stranger who helped her with her bags the day she landed.

Sawyer and Juliet and met up with her just a month ago. They were married now and living in Florida. Both were very happy.

Jack was seeing someone, and was taking flying lessons again. He said his heart just wasn't there for being a doctor anymore. He seemed okay.

As far as she knew everyone was happy.

Kate made her choice when Richard came to see her one last time. He told her that the island would be moved again and for good. Nobody would ever find it again and nobody would ever leave it. Locke was becoming a very smart and kind leader and his people were slowly rebuilding themselves from the mess Ben had made.

Kate remembered looking into Richard's eyes and asking two honest questions.

"Who's Jacob…and is it true? Will you live forever?"

Richard answered that Jacob was the person who took care of the island, and that currently he was very happy and content with how fate changed. As for his curse, or gift…or whatever you would call it…he told her the truth. He didn't know if he would live forever. Only that he had been this way for a very long time and had been waiting for someone to stand beside him after all those long lonely years.

Kate then made her decision. Jumping into Richard's arms and kissing him, she told him she would go.

"But you can never go back…"

Kate smiled pressing her face against his and laughing.

"My place is with you."

So she returned to the island, side by side with Richard.

Now all this time after, she was perfectly happy and now knew what Heaven must be like. This was her home…this was how fate wanted her to be. Laying in the sand with her husband, she held his hand and smiled before his hand gently touched her perfectly flat stomach. She was pregnant. Their baby would be the first of many. The new generation of the others. Thinking of that morning so long ago while standing in the surf, Kate kissed Richard again and smiled. The wind blowing, they held each other.

"I love you Richard…till the end of time."

And like it was said before.

It all began on a warm calm night.

And it all ended on a windy morning at the beach.

The End


	30. Special thanks

A very special thanks to everyone who reviewed and read my story. I hope even though I'm finished that people will continue reading/reviewing it. I hope everyone found it interesting and will keep their eyes open for future work of mine. In fact I'm just starting a second LOST story which revolves around Richard's life from when he first set sail on the Back Rock. 

.com/watch?v=Nk3YMAJm-zI

This link above is the music that I felt should be playing during the very last chapter in which Kate is laying on the beach and has finally found happiness. Thanks again and please stay tuned for more of my LOST work.

Hope you enjoyed.


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